DEAR ABBY: I love my husband, but how do you make a man stop embarrassing you in public?
My husband flirts openly with cashiers right in front of me, and asks complete strangers walking by if they would "like to buy a wife cheap."
Yesterday we went out to lunch and the bill was $18.42. He made a big fuss about it with the cashier, then loudly informed me it was my "fat a--" meal that cost so much. Abby, my meal was $6. I died a million deaths that day.
My husband is proud to have the nickname "Mr. Rude." Many of my friends avoid him because of his rudeness. He tells me people think it's funny, but I know they are offended. -- NOT LAUGHING IN CINCINNATI
DEAR NOT LAUGHING: Excuse me? Is "Mr. Rude" the same man you married, or is his poor imitation of Henny Youngman something new? If it's something new, your husband needs his head examined. If it's the way he has always behaved and you have tolerated being ridiculed this way for years, then you need to tell him to knock it off or ask yourself why you put up with it.
Your husband's behavior is inexcusable. But, if necessary, two can play that "game." With a little time I'm sure you can come up with a retort or two that will teach him a lesson he won't forget. Revenge is a dish best served cold.