DEAR ABBY: I'm a 38-year-old woman who has been dating a 32-year-old man I'll call "Vinny" for three months. When I realized that I had developed strong feelings for him, I decided to ask him what his feelings were about our friendship and where he saw it going. Keep in mind, Vinny has no children, and I have two from a previous marriage.
Vinny told me he has developed feelings for me, too, but that he wants to have children of his own someday. I respect and understand his honesty. He also said he was scared, and that in the past, when he has felt he was getting too close to someone, he would pull away. That suggests to me that he is commitment-phobic.
My problem is, Vinny continues to call me several times a day and every night before he goes to bed -- although we have not been spending as much time together as we have in the past. Am I wasting my time? Should I start dating other people? I care a lot about Vinny and would like to be with him. -- BEWILDERED IN MISSISSIPPI
DEAR BEWILDERED: Frankly, the questions you are asking me should be directed to Vinny during one of your daily or nightly conversations. If he's serious about wanting children of his own and you are not interested in having more, that could present a serious problem. If you ARE interested, then there is also the issue of your biological clock.
That said, you and Vinny have known each other only three months. You may have been premature in asking him to declare his intentions so quickly. However, if you weren't on his mind, you wouldn't still be hearing from him. And if he is interested in playing the field, then so should you.