DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 15 years to the sweetest man in the world. We love each other, we like each other, and I feel truly fortunate.

I was recently involved in a conversation with some co-workers who were discussing marriage, and they asked me what I would do if my husband left me. I told them I trust my husband completely, and I know he would never leave me.

I was then informed that I am living in a fairy tale! The rest of the conversation was spent trying to convince me that my husband will eventually leave me, even though none of these people has ever met him. He has never cheated on me. I tried to explain that there are still some decent men in the world, but they refused to accept it.

Abby, I prefer not to live my life looking for negative things because I believe it taints relationships. I believe that if I continue to view my marriage as blessed and wonderful, it will be. Why can't people allow others to be happy? What prevents these people from seeing good instead of bad and, more important, why can't they see that there are couples in good marriages who are committed to making them work? -- HAPPILY MARRIED IN CORPUS CHRISTI

DEAR HAPPILY MARRIED: Have you never heard the expression "misery loves company"? Some people are so dysfunctional that the only way they can make themselves feel better is to make others feel worse. When they see a happily married couple, it reminds them that in some way they failed or chose someone who failed them.

You have a healthy, optimistic attitude and a successful marriage. Please do not allow your co-workers to continue to spread their negativity, or sooner or later it may affect you. Avoid them, live your life, continue to appreciate what you have, and let them wallow in their suspicion and discontent.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I host Christmas at our home. We have always served the meals buffet-style. Please tell me how to address the problem of relatives who move down the serving line constantly licking their fingers and then touching the utensils of all the other dishes. This may not be a concern to everyone, but to us it is unsanitary and unappetizing.

While we're on the subject, whatever happened to people washing their hands before they eat? Please hurry with your answer. The holidays are almost here, and I need a solution. -- PICKY IN WASHINGTON

DEAR PICKY: While it's advisable for people to wash their hands before eating, not everyone does -- and unless you want to assume the role of "Mommy" and pass out anti-bacterial hand wipes as people get in line, you may have to accept that some of your guests won't do it.

As to how to handle the "contaminated" utensils, consider serving the food cafeteria-style, with you and your spouse doling it out to each of your guests. This should eliminate the "ick" factor.

DEAR ABBY: I know this issue has been addressed before in your column, but now it has happened to me. My adult son died a year ago. It was very sudden. I try not to constantly talk about him, but when I meet people for the first time and I am asked if I have children, how should I respond? I have one other child, an adult daughter. -- WONDERING IN OHIO

DEAR WONDERING: Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your son. When someone asks if you have children, it is perfectly acceptable to tell the questioner that you have two -- a daughter and a son in heaven.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I consider myself to be a nice, normal person. I know how to make interesting, intelligent conversation that can engage just about anyone. When I go out socially, I often meet people and we hit it off.

Typically, by the end of the conversation, there comes a point where it is decided -- usually by the other person -- that we exchange information, which includes phone numbers and e-mail addresses. I generally wait a few days before calling, or until an occasion arises to invite the person to participate with me.

When I call or e-mail, I always leave a message, but I almost never get a response back. Sometimes I wait to see if the person I just met calls me first, but it never happens.

Do people just pretend to be interested in me, or am I fooling myself? Or are they just too busy to make the effort to have another friend? I don't understand it. Am I missing something? -- BLOWN OFF IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR BLOWN OFF: What you have described happens frequently -- usually when someone wants to end a conversation on a positive note. The failure to follow through can be for a variety of reasons -- busy schedule, lack of interest, met someone else, changed their mind.

But if this is happening more than 90 percent of the time, it's time to look in the mirror and ask yourself if you come on too strong, or keep the people you meet involved in "interesting, intelligent conversation" so long they feel the need to get away. My advice is to ask someone you trust whether this could be a possibility.

DEAR ABBY: Is there such a thing as a "quarter life" crisis? Ever since I completed my undergraduate degree, I feel like I have lost something great and can't seem to find my way. My professors were the only family I had.

I have moved to a new school and started a new job, and I feel extremely unsure about what I'm doing. I feel lost without the support of my professors. How do people make it through this transition without the assistance of family and friends? Is this normal, or am I the only one who feels this way? -- SEARCHING FOR MY PATH

DEAR SEARCHING: Your feelings are normal. You are a fledgling who has left a protective nest. You are now learning to fly on your own power.

Join some of the clubs at your new school, and spend some time getting to know your co-workers. New relationships take time to cultivate, but in a few months you will feel more at home in your new surroundings.

DEAR ABBY: Is there something wrong with the fact that I don't like to entertain? I don't even like having people over at my house. My husband likes to barbecue and invite others to come over. Am I wrong -- or am I a snob? -- ENOUGH ON MY PLATE

DEAR ENOUGH: Neither one. You may be socially recessive or an introvert. But because you married someone who is an extrovert, you will have to learn to compromise. If this is too difficult for you, please consider counseling to help you work through your social anxieties.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds)

DEAR ABBY: I need some serious advice. I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis a year ago. My condition is stable. I have taken the necessary precautions such as dietary changes, exercise and prescription medications.

My husband and I have been married eight years. This is my second marriage and his third. My husband is a very stubborn man. Once he makes a decision he stands by it until death.

He has recently announced that should I become incapacitated and unable to perform my "wifely duties," he is going to find a "sex buddy." What should I do about this announcement? -- WIFE IN DAYTON, OHIO

DEAR WIFE: I can't imagine an announcement that would cool a woman's ardor faster than the one your husband made to you. You say that "once he makes a decision he stands by it until death." Remind him that when you were married he promised to be faithful to you until death do you part. From my perspective, your husband appears to be a self-serving hypocrite, and you need to decide if that's the kind of person you want to live with for the rest of your life.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Logan," recently proposed. I gladly accepted. Logan is a little timid about announcing the fact that we are engaged. He's afraid of what people will think because we have only been together for seven months.

What is the appropriate time frame for courting before becoming engaged? -- NEW FIANCEE, SELIGMAN, ARIZ.

DEAR NEW FIANCEE: It depends upon the ages and the level of life experience of the individuals involved. Smart couples wait to become engaged until they have seen each other under a variety of circumstances -- including some that are not pleasant. And after they do decide, they sign up for pre-marital counseling to make absolutely sure they agree on subjects like money management, how many children they want, and how they will be raised -- the "little" things that can make or break a marriage. Because Logan seems uncomfortable about revealing your engagement, the two of you may have jumped the gun.

And now, Dear Readers, I will continue the tradition of offering the Thanksgiving Prayer that was written by my dear mother, Pauline Phillips. No Thanksgiving would be complete for me without it:

Oh, Heavenly Father,

We thank thee for food and

remember the hungry.

We thank thee for health and

remember the sick.

We thank thee for freedom and

remember the enslaved.

May these remembrances stir

us to service,

That thy gifts to us may be

used for others. Amen.

Have a safe and happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

Love, ABBY

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)