DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married eight years. Six months before we met, he had a one-night stand with his brother's girlfriend -- now his brother's wife. His brother was present and involved, if you know what I mean. I am no saint by any means, but this is information I wish he had never told me because now I can't stand the sight of either of them.
My husband has never cheated on me or asked me to have a threesome or anything like that. He worships the ground I walk on and is the perfect mate, very sensitive about my feelings. He has told me he wishes it had never happened, and he feels ashamed.
We live in a small town. I see his brother and his wife all the time and, of course, at all the family gatherings. I have to get over this somehow. I know it's in the past and it was before me, but I get so upset every time I see either one of them that I just want to go off. Please help me. -- NOT OVER IT IN TENNESSEE
DEAR NOT OVER IT: No one can blame you for finding these people repulsive, and what happened so long ago was no one's brightest moment -- including your husband's. However, because you must have regular contact with them, I do have a suggestion for you. Forgive them. If you do, it will cause less wear and tear on your soul than what you have been putting yourself through.