DEAR ABBY: Once again, e-mails are flying at record speed with "information" about the Democratic or Republican candidates. I am not talking about the funny ones that are meant in good humor, but serious, derogatory accusations.

Can you please explain to me why friends would just assume that I want to read their forwarded messages? Not once has any of them asked who I'm voting for. They have never even asked which party I belong to.

I believe that politics and religion are personal choices, and I'm extremely offended when I receive these e-mails. I have ignored them in the past, but with the upcoming election, I'm asking what would be an appropriate response to these unwanted e-mails. Isn't freedom of choice -- without having people ram their opinion down your throat -- what has made America great? Thanks for any light on this subject. -- HENDERSON, NEV., VOTER

DEAR VOTER: The individuals who send those offensive e-mails may be hoping to sway your vote with misinformation. Or they may have you on a mass e-mail list included as a "friend" or "family member."

Feeling as you do, you have two choices. Tell the sender that you feel the messages are inappropriate and ask to be removed from that person's list, or simply delete the message without opening it.

DEAR ABBY: My sister, "Carole," has been saying for five years that she's going to kill herself when she's 65. She lives alone, her children are grown and she has a limited income. She told me she wants to go while she is in possession of her faculties. She doesn't want to get sick and die in a nursing home.

Of course I have tried to talk her out of it, but as the years have progressed, I realize that Carole is serious. She has been tying up loose ends and fixing up her house so that her daughter will inherit something nice.

Carole refuses counseling and actually seems happier since making her decision. Sometimes, after one of our deep discussions, she almost has me convinced that I'm a fool for not wanting to follow her path.

This is her last year, and I'm feeling increasingly anxious. I wonder if there isn't an avenue I haven't yet explored. Carole is pretty, healthy, walks with a jaunt in her step and holds a good job. I have talked to a suicide-prevention counselor who said some people can't be stopped and that it's no crime to THINK about suicide. Any ideas? -- SISTER WITH A HEAVY HEART

DEAR SISTER: Has anyone pointed out to Carole that 65 is the new 45? I can understand the concept of rational suicide if someone is terminally ill and in constant pain, but to go in the full flower of life strikes me as premature.

You say your sister has spoken to you about this for the past several years. How do her children feel about it? Surely, this can't have their blessing.

I can't "save" Carole and neither can you -- but it occurs to me that the reason she really wants to go is because she has nothing that keeps her invested in living. Even if she doesn't value her own life, she needs to know that others do.

P.S. People can be committed for observation if they are considered a danger to themselves or others -- and your sister may qualify.

DEAR ABBY: A few weeks ago, I returned home after mowing the lawn at my mother's place and parked my truck behind my house. I left the lawnmower and a 5-gallon can of gas in the bed of my truck and went into the house for a drink of water. When I returned, the gas can was missing.

I bought another can, filled it with gas and added 2 pounds of sugar. Again, I parked my truck in the same spot with the gas can visible. An hour later, it too had disappeared.

A short while later, I noticed a neighbor's son and his friends pushing his car up the street. They said they had "engine problems." My wife thinks what I did was wrong and that I should offer to pay for this lad's engine repairs. What do you think? -- "A-GASSED" IN ILLINOIS

DEAR "A-GASSED": I disagree with your wife. What if the boys had another kind of engine problem and this was just a coincidence? I'm sure whoever stole your gas got an expensive lesson. Let's hope it also saved them from a life of crime.

DEAR ABBY: Please help with a question about Halloween trick-or-treating etiquette. What do you do when the parents of the children who are trick-or-treating present you with their own candy collection bag? This happened to me several times last year.

Some of the adults said they were collecting for a child who wasn't there or for infants and toddlers in strollers. Others didn't even offer a reason, even after I asked them what their "costume" was supposed to be. Thanks for your input, Abby. -– KATHLEEN B., SPRINGFIELD, MASS.

DEAR KATHLEEN: While Halloween is supposed to be a holiday for children, many teens and adults enjoy the idea of free candy and trick-or-treating, too. In years past my doorbell has been rung by revelers who looked so old I was tempted to offer them a martini.

As I see it, you have two choices: Buy enough candy to go around, or turn off all the lights and hide. In my experience, it's better to do the former.

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating a man with post-traumatic stress disorder. He takes anti-depressants and sleeping meds, and has for many years. Because he fought on the front lines in Vietnam, he deals with nightmares related to PTSD.

He loves me and wants to marry me, but I worry because his first three marriages didn't work. I care about this man, but I'm a little scared of the future and how his PTSD will affect us. What should I do? -- LOVES MY VET

DEAR LOVES: I assume that because your boyfriend is on anti-depressants and sleeping medication, he is also under a doctor's care. Has he also received psychiatric treatment for his PTSD?

While this question may seem obvious, I'm sad to say that some soldiers from as far back as WWII "slipped through the cracks" and suffered their entire lives with night terrors and difficulty forming close relationships because they never received the treatment they needed. If your boyfriend hasn't received professional help, insist that he get it -- because unless he does, yours will be failed marriage No. 4.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: My husband cheated on me, so I decided to end the marriage. I didn't tell anyone the true reason behind the divorce because I wanted to keep it private.

My 14-year-old daughter is extremely angry with me and blames me for the divorce. Her father can do no wrong in her eyes. I have custody, and our house has become a war zone.

So far, I have revealed no details to her except that we both love her and our marriage simply did not work out. I am tempted to tell her the truth, hoping we can call a truce and try to get our relationship back on track. Is this a bad idea? -- WANTS TO DISCLOSE

DEAR WANTS: I understand the temptation to unload, but yield to it only if there is no other way. If you and your husband are on speaking terms -- and for your daughter's sake, I hope you are -- schedule some time for the three of you to get together and talk about the divorce. At that time, HE should reinforce to her that the divorce was mutual, and you should not be blamed for it.

P.S. If there is one particular woman involved, your daughter will be meeting her pretty soon. Many 14-year-olds are quite worldly these days, and she'll likely draw the right conclusions herself.

DEAR ABBY: My grandmother died recently after being hospitalized for more than a year. My boyfriend, "Tom," has a sister who is a registered nurse at the hospital where Gramma was staying. "Gail" was one of my grandmother's nurses and would often tell Tom about the treatments. It bothered me because I felt it was a breach of confidentiality, and I sometimes wondered if she discussed Gramma's condition with others as well.

The day Gramma died, I was working. Tom came to the restaurant where I work to give me the sad news. I became emotional and asked Tom how he knew. He explained that Gail had called him.

I understand that Tom wanted me to hear the news in person, but my family had decided they would wait to tell me until after I got home from work that evening, which is what I would have preferred.

Gail may not have meant any harm, but I don't believe what she did was right or fair. Should I report her to the hospital? I am still furious about it. -- SAD AND CONFUSED IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR SAD AND CONFUSED: Yes, you should. The administrators need to know that the patient privacy policies they have in place are being violated, since an employee who would do this to you is likely to be doing it to others, which could lead to a lawsuit. However, you should be prepared for the fact that reporting your boyfriend's sister will probably end the romance.

DEAR ABBY: I'm not a negative person, but I rarely laugh at anything. My husband of eight years is growing tired of the fact that I find nothing funny. Is it possible for someone to lack a sense of humor, and do you have any advice for me? –- NO FUNNY BONE IN UTAH

DEAR NO FUNNY BONE: There are people who have little or no sense of humor. Others appreciate humor and will smile, but do not laugh out loud. This is why some television shows have laugh tracks.

I'm sorry your husband is "growing tired" of the fact that you find nothing funny, but he should have known what you were like when he married you. Perhaps it's time he concentrated on developing his serious side. Tell him that -- but do it with a smile.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)