DEAR ABBY: A few weeks ago, I returned home after mowing the lawn at my mother's place and parked my truck behind my house. I left the lawnmower and a 5-gallon can of gas in the bed of my truck and went into the house for a drink of water. When I returned, the gas can was missing.

I bought another can, filled it with gas and added 2 pounds of sugar. Again, I parked my truck in the same spot with the gas can visible. An hour later, it too had disappeared.

A short while later, I noticed a neighbor's son and his friends pushing his car up the street. They said they had "engine problems." My wife thinks what I did was wrong and that I should offer to pay for this lad's engine repairs. What do you think? -- "A-GASSED" IN ILLINOIS

DEAR "A-GASSED": I disagree with your wife. What if the boys had another kind of engine problem and this was just a coincidence? I'm sure whoever stole your gas got an expensive lesson. Let's hope it also saved them from a life of crime.

DEAR ABBY: Please help with a question about Halloween trick-or-treating etiquette. What do you do when the parents of the children who are trick-or-treating present you with their own candy collection bag? This happened to me several times last year.

Some of the adults said they were collecting for a child who wasn't there or for infants and toddlers in strollers. Others didn't even offer a reason, even after I asked them what their "costume" was supposed to be. Thanks for your input, Abby. -– KATHLEEN B., SPRINGFIELD, MASS.

DEAR KATHLEEN: While Halloween is supposed to be a holiday for children, many teens and adults enjoy the idea of free candy and trick-or-treating, too. In years past my doorbell has been rung by revelers who looked so old I was tempted to offer them a martini.

As I see it, you have two choices: Buy enough candy to go around, or turn off all the lights and hide. In my experience, it's better to do the former.

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating a man with post-traumatic stress disorder. He takes anti-depressants and sleeping meds, and has for many years. Because he fought on the front lines in Vietnam, he deals with nightmares related to PTSD.

He loves me and wants to marry me, but I worry because his first three marriages didn't work. I care about this man, but I'm a little scared of the future and how his PTSD will affect us. What should I do? -- LOVES MY VET

DEAR LOVES: I assume that because your boyfriend is on anti-depressants and sleeping medication, he is also under a doctor's care. Has he also received psychiatric treatment for his PTSD?

While this question may seem obvious, I'm sad to say that some soldiers from as far back as WWII "slipped through the cracks" and suffered their entire lives with night terrors and difficulty forming close relationships because they never received the treatment they needed. If your boyfriend hasn't received professional help, insist that he get it -- because unless he does, yours will be failed marriage No. 4.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: My husband cheated on me, so I decided to end the marriage. I didn't tell anyone the true reason behind the divorce because I wanted to keep it private.

My 14-year-old daughter is extremely angry with me and blames me for the divorce. Her father can do no wrong in her eyes. I have custody, and our house has become a war zone.

So far, I have revealed no details to her except that we both love her and our marriage simply did not work out. I am tempted to tell her the truth, hoping we can call a truce and try to get our relationship back on track. Is this a bad idea? -- WANTS TO DISCLOSE

DEAR WANTS: I understand the temptation to unload, but yield to it only if there is no other way. If you and your husband are on speaking terms -- and for your daughter's sake, I hope you are -- schedule some time for the three of you to get together and talk about the divorce. At that time, HE should reinforce to her that the divorce was mutual, and you should not be blamed for it.

P.S. If there is one particular woman involved, your daughter will be meeting her pretty soon. Many 14-year-olds are quite worldly these days, and she'll likely draw the right conclusions herself.

DEAR ABBY: My grandmother died recently after being hospitalized for more than a year. My boyfriend, "Tom," has a sister who is a registered nurse at the hospital where Gramma was staying. "Gail" was one of my grandmother's nurses and would often tell Tom about the treatments. It bothered me because I felt it was a breach of confidentiality, and I sometimes wondered if she discussed Gramma's condition with others as well.

The day Gramma died, I was working. Tom came to the restaurant where I work to give me the sad news. I became emotional and asked Tom how he knew. He explained that Gail had called him.

I understand that Tom wanted me to hear the news in person, but my family had decided they would wait to tell me until after I got home from work that evening, which is what I would have preferred.

Gail may not have meant any harm, but I don't believe what she did was right or fair. Should I report her to the hospital? I am still furious about it. -- SAD AND CONFUSED IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR SAD AND CONFUSED: Yes, you should. The administrators need to know that the patient privacy policies they have in place are being violated, since an employee who would do this to you is likely to be doing it to others, which could lead to a lawsuit. However, you should be prepared for the fact that reporting your boyfriend's sister will probably end the romance.

DEAR ABBY: I'm not a negative person, but I rarely laugh at anything. My husband of eight years is growing tired of the fact that I find nothing funny. Is it possible for someone to lack a sense of humor, and do you have any advice for me? –- NO FUNNY BONE IN UTAH

DEAR NO FUNNY BONE: There are people who have little or no sense of humor. Others appreciate humor and will smile, but do not laugh out loud. This is why some television shows have laugh tracks.

I'm sorry your husband is "growing tired" of the fact that you find nothing funny, but he should have known what you were like when he married you. Perhaps it's time he concentrated on developing his serious side. Tell him that -- but do it with a smile.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: Our financial adviser, "Wally," who has managed our finances for a number of years, sent us a letter asking us to donate to a charity he is starting.

We feel like we are being held hostage because he knows how much money we have and how we spend it. We feel Wally has crossed the line of professionalism. What do you think, and what should we do? -- SOLICITED IN OHIO

DEAR SOLICITED: You are entitled to your feelings, and here's how to handle it. Write Wally a small check for his new charity and enclose with it a short note wishing him success with his newfound cause. Close by telling him that everyone has causes that are close to their hearts -- including you and your husband -- and because you know this one is important to him, you are sending him a ONE-TIME donation. If he solicits you after that, find another financial adviser.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 15 and live with my mom. We often paint our nails. The problem is, my mom shakes the nail polish worse than anyone. I heard recently that shaking a bottle of nail polish creates air bubbles and makes the polish thinner. (This came from a professional manicurist.) But my mom won't believe me. She thinks this professional is crazy. Can you please tell everyone that there is a reason why you never see manicurists shake their bottles? It's a horrible habit, and it drives me nuts. -- PEEVED IN GREENVILLE, N.C.

DEAR PEEVED: Before judging your mother so harshly, you might be wise to talk to more than one professional manicurist about what causes bubbles. I have seen many professional manicurists shake the bottles of polish before applying it to their clients. And I have been told that applying polish that is not fresh, or applying it too thickly can cause it to bubble.

DEAR ABBY: The letters I see you print about "acts of kindness" always give me a lift, so I thought I'd tell you about mine.

I was nine months pregnant and had a few errands to run -- taking some clothes to the Laundromat, cashing my husband's paycheck, etc.

While I was transferring my laundry from the washing machine to the dryer, I turned around to find that my purses, detergent and a magazine I had been reading were all missing. I frantically searched everywhere, including the trash bins inside and outside. Because I had just cashed the paycheck, the thieves got away with almost $600 in cash.

A woman who had just walked in and witnessed my frantic search, came over and handed me $20 to "get by." Being stressed out and hormonal, I was floored by her kind gesture and started to cry. She gave me a big hug, and her kindness got me through the day.

I went into labor that night and gave birth to a gorgeous baby girl. I will never forget the woman's gentle nature, or the fact that even though I was victimized by someone who couldn't miss the fact that I was extremely pregnant, I also encountered an act of kindness. I hope she knows what a difference she made and that I still remember her, 15 years later. -- CHRISTY IN GREELEY, COLO.

DEAR CHRISTY: Considering the fact that you not only got a hug and $20, but also a priceless bundle of joy from heaven, I'd have to say you came out a winner that day, wouldn't you?

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)