DEAR ABBY: I was engaged for 18 months to "Jerry," a man I wanted to marry. We become engaged after dating for six months, but we had known each other three years before becoming romantically involved.
A few weeks ago, Jerry announced that he wants to end our engagement because he is going through a "selfish period" in his life and wants to be able to go out without feeling guilty.
I believe Jerry is seeing someone else, but he is adamant that this is only for him -- his chance to be independent. He said he wants me to give him a chance to possibly rekindle our relationship in a year. I don't know if I'm willing to do that. Any advice? -- BROKENHEARTED IN PHOENIX
DEAR BROKENHEARTED: Yes. It appears your former fiance is commitment-phobic. Whether Jerry is seeing someone or not is beside the point. He wants to be free to look around, and if he can't "do any better" in a year he may "possibly" come back -- or not. (Give him marks for honesty!)
My advice is to consider this romance a thing of the past. Use the next 12 months to do some serious looking around yourself. If by chance you're still available -- and willing -- when Jerry is "possibly" ready to rekindle the relationship, do so ONLY if he agrees to complete a course of couples counseling with you. Unless you do, this man will break your heart again.