DEAR ABBY: My parents recently took my kids for a "day with Grandma and Grandpa." My children are 5 and 3. When they returned home, they were driven by one of my siblings with Grandma in tow. My sibling stated that he was the "designated driver."
My husband and I are extremely upset that my parents chose to drink when they had our children in their care, and so extensively that they needed someone else to get the children home safely. We'd like to discuss this with them and ask them not to consume alcohol when our children are with them. However, we are hesitant because of the conflict this may cause, and are concerned that they will feel that we're attacking them.
How should we approach this -- or is it best not to express our concern? -- VACILLATING IN ARIZONA
DEAR VACILLATING: Vacillate no more and stop worrying about the "conflict" speaking up might cause. As a parent, it is your ultimate responsibility to ensure the safety of your children. Unless you establish firm ground rules and can be absolutely sure that your children are cared for in a sober, responsible environment, your children should not be unsupervised around their grandparents. Anything less is child endangerment.