DEAR ABBY: My 31-year-old son calls me only when he's in need of something -- like bailing him out of jail. He never calls just to say hello or ask how I am.
My problem is my guilt feelings. All I can think of is that he's my son and I need to help him. In the meantime I am losing sleep, don't eat right and ignore the rest of my family. How can I help my son and not ignore the rest of my family? -- DISAPPOINTED MOM IN LAS VEGAS
DEAR MOM: Your son will never learn the consequences of his actions unless you stop bailing him out and giving him money. You may think you need to "help" him, but what you are doing ISN'T helping him. It's allowing him to continue to live irresponsibly.
Talk to your spiritual adviser, talk to your husband, consult a psychologist if necessary. But change your focus, because you're directing your attention away from the people who really need you -- and that's the rest of your family. And I'll bet in return you'll get the kind of attention you need.