DEAR ABBY: I'm afraid my best friend's daughter, "Kami," may have Munchausen syndrome. People with this condition consciously fake the symptoms of a physical disorder.

Kami is 30, a former nurse, and married with a toddler. She lives to be sick. She is always in the emergency room for something. Kami often claims she has cancer and is dying. In fact, she recently told me proudly that she had "died" twice. Ladies from her church clean her house and bring her meals because they think she's at death's door, yet Kami and her husband are planning a water-skiing and snorkeling vacation.

Kami's husband and parents are extremely protective of her and become defensive if anyone suggests that Kami may not really be physically ill. A sister-in-law who mentioned Munchausen is no longer spoken to.

The final straw for me came when she arrived late to a wedding, making the grand entrance in a wheelchair, and by the end of the night was on her feet swing dancing at the reception.

She's losing friends, because to be friends with Kami means you are completely invested in her illness. Most people are staying away. She exhausts us.

I care for this young woman and her family, but don't know how to help her. Have you any thoughts? -- WORRIED FRIEND IN UTAH

DEAR WORRIED FRIEND: Until Kami's family is ready to recognize that she may have a complex emotional disorder rather than a physical illness and stop enabling her, there will be no help for her.

However, has anyone taken into consideration the effect Kami's endless dramatic crises are having on that toddler? When a parent is continually at death's door, attention that should be devoted to nurturing the child is diverted from where it should be.

Please point THAT out to your best friend. While the truth may not endear you to her, it may be the wake-up call she needs to see that her daughter gets help. Either that, or she can intervene to ensure the child receives the emotional support he or she needs while Mama is having another crisis.

DEAR ABBY: I want to thank all the wonderful people who make biking to work possible. I am a mid-40s professional and never thought I could do this, but I am. My goal was to bike at least once a week to work -- 15 miles each way -- and I have been doing it since May and loving it!

Thank you to the drivers who respect bikers, the municipalities who planned for safe cycling, and the companies that provide showers and lockers. It has been so much fun.

I never thought I could do this because of work schedules, kids' activities and weather, but with a little thought it works. It's good, fun exercise. Help the environment, save energy and get fit, America! -- GEORGE IN MIAMI VALLEY, OHIO

DEAR GEORGE: I'm pleased that you are enjoying your healthy new lifestyle, and I'm all for physical fitness. However, I hesitate to encourage large numbers of people to embrace your challenge until both cyclists and motorists are better educated about the rules of the road.

Communities need to act now to provide safe bicycle lanes and paths for people trying to conserve gasoline. Awareness needs to be raised among drivers about the rights of bikers. The television and print media could be a significant help in this effort, and I hope they'll take the opportunity to inform their audiences.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)

DEAR ABBY: A boy in the grade below me killed himself. I didn't know him very well. He was a 10th-grader and we spoke in passing.

I realize no words in this world can explain a tragedy like this. I can't get past it because I know so many teens think of suicide at one time or another. Is the teen suicide rate higher than ever?

What options are there for teens to avoid getting to this point? Talking to a trusted adult won't work if a young person can't find an adult to trust. What more can kids do when they or a close friend are considering suicide? Please help us out, Abby. I'm afraid my generation is killing itself - - literally. -- SOON-TO-BE SENIOR IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR SOON-TO-BE SENIOR: I'm sorry for the tragic loss of your schoolmate. While it may seem that the suicide rate today is higher than years ago, my experts tell me that this is not the case. What has increased is the degree to which it has been publicized in the media.

If a contemporary should confide in you that he or she is considering suicide, tell that person that you care and are concerned. Under no circumstances should you keep what was said a secret. Tell your parents, a teacher or a school counselor, who can see that your friend gets help. If you feel there is no adult you can trust, then pick up the phone and call the toll-free National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. The number is 1-800-273-TALK (8255). You will be saving a life if you do.

DEAR ABBY: Have you any advice for a woman who is married to a perpetual do-gooder? Every time someone asks for help, "Sam" feels he MUST. He's often gone three to five evenings a week after work, and at least once over the weekend. When Sam is home, he's so exhausted from all his activities and late nights that he just sleeps. (By the way, my husband is not the cheating type.)

When I point out that the kids and I need him as much or more than his "charity cases," he promises to cut back. Then he'll get another call for help and automatically says "yes."

If you have any suggestions, I'd love to hear them. -- GOOD NEIGHBOR SAM'S WIFE

DEAR WIFE: While helping others is a virtue, Sam has turned it into something less than noble because his priorities are scrambled. It appears you married someone so hungry for affirmation that he can't say no to anyone.

Spending time with you and the children should be higher on his list. It is time to ask your husband if his do-gooding isn't also a way of avoiding his responsibilities as a husband and father, because the family has been getting the short end of the stick.

DEAR ABBY: Do you think it's rude for people to park their cars in front of the walkway to our house? My husband thinks I'm being a fussbudget. I say the walk should remain clear in case guests or visitors have mobility problems or are unloading something. -- DONNA IN SACRAMENTO, CALIF.

DEAR DONNA: Unless you are unloading something or have visitors with mobility problems, my advice is to lighten up, lest you be viewed as the neighborhood crank. If the situation changes, I'm sure your neighbors and/or their guests would be happy to move their cars to accommodate you.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby -- Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I am 14 years old and the daughter of a successful businessman. Daddy recently announced that we have been invited to the bat mitzvah of the daughter of one of his co-workers. I don't want to go.

When I was in seventh grade, I went to her brother's bar mitzvah. While the actual ceremony was interesting and enlightening (I'm Catholic), the party afterward was really uncomfortable. I'm not shy, but it is hard to socialize with people I have never met before on such a large scale.

I am afraid I'll be intimidated by all the other kids there who know each other. How can I enjoy myself this time around? I'd appreciate any advice you have. -- QUIET AND INTIMIDATED IN CLEVELAND

DEAR QUIET AND INTIMIDATED: You are older and more socially skilled now than when you were a seventh-grader. You don't have to "sparkle," because the attention will be centered on the bat mitzvah girl.

Why not use being Catholic and not knowing anyone to your advantage? Pick out the cutest boy in the room, walk over and explain that this is all new for you. Remember the circle dance in which everyone participated at the last party? It's called the "hora." Tell him you don't know how and ask him to show you and lead you when the music starts. You may make a friend.

DEAR ABBY: When I had my first child, my sister "Ursula" bought me a cradle swing that retails for about $180. I have used it for both my children and have kept it in excellent condition. My youngest is nearing the recommended weight limit for the swing, so I'm considering selling it, as I do with all the items my children outgrow. I should get about $75 for it.

I'm a stay-at-home mom and my husband works two jobs. We live on a tight budget. I'd like to use the money I get for the swing for birthday and Christmas gifts for the kids.

Ursula's husband's niece, "Bree," is having a baby boy in two months. I'm not close to Bree and see her only every other year. I plan on giving her lots of the baby clothes, toys and equipment I have. I could have sold them, but chose to give them to Bree. I don't plan on giving her the swing.

Ursula is now reminding me that she and her husband gave me the swing and they would like me to pass it along to Bree. Am I obligated to give what was a gift to me and my children to Bree's child? There were no stipulations when I received it. How do I handle this? -- PUZZLED IN PLANO, TEXAS

DEAR PUZZLED: For Ursula to dictate to you how you dispose of the gift takes a lot of nerve, and no rule of etiquette obligates you to give the swing to Bree. However, unless you want that swing to become a bone of contention and a source of resentment, give it to Bree with a smile. The good feelings it will generate are worth more than $75 -- and the penalty isn't worth it. Trust me.

DEAR ABBY: This may be a dumb question, but I don't have the answer. If my elderly roommate dies (of old age) during the night, who do I call the next morning -- his doctor at a big, impersonal HMO, the county coroner or the cremation society of which he is a prepaid member? He has no living relatives. -- ANXIOUS ROOMIE IN SAN FRANCISCO

DEAR ANXIOUS: Your question is not "dumb." In the event that someone dies at home, the police should be notified so they can be sure the person passed away of natural causes.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby -- Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)