DEAR ABBY: A boy in the grade below me killed himself. I didn't know him very well. He was a 10th-grader and we spoke in passing.

I realize no words in this world can explain a tragedy like this. I can't get past it because I know so many teens think of suicide at one time or another. Is the teen suicide rate higher than ever?

What options are there for teens to avoid getting to this point? Talking to a trusted adult won't work if a young person can't find an adult to trust. What more can kids do when they or a close friend are considering suicide? Please help us out, Abby. I'm afraid my generation is killing itself - - literally. -- SOON-TO-BE SENIOR IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR SOON-TO-BE SENIOR: I'm sorry for the tragic loss of your schoolmate. While it may seem that the suicide rate today is higher than years ago, my experts tell me that this is not the case. What has increased is the degree to which it has been publicized in the media.

If a contemporary should confide in you that he or she is considering suicide, tell that person that you care and are concerned. Under no circumstances should you keep what was said a secret. Tell your parents, a teacher or a school counselor, who can see that your friend gets help. If you feel there is no adult you can trust, then pick up the phone and call the toll-free National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. The number is 1-800-273-TALK (8255). You will be saving a life if you do.

DEAR ABBY: Have you any advice for a woman who is married to a perpetual do-gooder? Every time someone asks for help, "Sam" feels he MUST. He's often gone three to five evenings a week after work, and at least once over the weekend. When Sam is home, he's so exhausted from all his activities and late nights that he just sleeps. (By the way, my husband is not the cheating type.)

When I point out that the kids and I need him as much or more than his "charity cases," he promises to cut back. Then he'll get another call for help and automatically says "yes."

If you have any suggestions, I'd love to hear them. -- GOOD NEIGHBOR SAM'S WIFE

DEAR WIFE: While helping others is a virtue, Sam has turned it into something less than noble because his priorities are scrambled. It appears you married someone so hungry for affirmation that he can't say no to anyone.

Spending time with you and the children should be higher on his list. It is time to ask your husband if his do-gooding isn't also a way of avoiding his responsibilities as a husband and father, because the family has been getting the short end of the stick.

DEAR ABBY: Do you think it's rude for people to park their cars in front of the walkway to our house? My husband thinks I'm being a fussbudget. I say the walk should remain clear in case guests or visitors have mobility problems or are unloading something. -- DONNA IN SACRAMENTO, CALIF.

DEAR DONNA: Unless you are unloading something or have visitors with mobility problems, my advice is to lighten up, lest you be viewed as the neighborhood crank. If the situation changes, I'm sure your neighbors and/or their guests would be happy to move their cars to accommodate you.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby -- Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I am 14 years old and the daughter of a successful businessman. Daddy recently announced that we have been invited to the bat mitzvah of the daughter of one of his co-workers. I don't want to go.

When I was in seventh grade, I went to her brother's bar mitzvah. While the actual ceremony was interesting and enlightening (I'm Catholic), the party afterward was really uncomfortable. I'm not shy, but it is hard to socialize with people I have never met before on such a large scale.

I am afraid I'll be intimidated by all the other kids there who know each other. How can I enjoy myself this time around? I'd appreciate any advice you have. -- QUIET AND INTIMIDATED IN CLEVELAND

DEAR QUIET AND INTIMIDATED: You are older and more socially skilled now than when you were a seventh-grader. You don't have to "sparkle," because the attention will be centered on the bat mitzvah girl.

Why not use being Catholic and not knowing anyone to your advantage? Pick out the cutest boy in the room, walk over and explain that this is all new for you. Remember the circle dance in which everyone participated at the last party? It's called the "hora." Tell him you don't know how and ask him to show you and lead you when the music starts. You may make a friend.

DEAR ABBY: When I had my first child, my sister "Ursula" bought me a cradle swing that retails for about $180. I have used it for both my children and have kept it in excellent condition. My youngest is nearing the recommended weight limit for the swing, so I'm considering selling it, as I do with all the items my children outgrow. I should get about $75 for it.

I'm a stay-at-home mom and my husband works two jobs. We live on a tight budget. I'd like to use the money I get for the swing for birthday and Christmas gifts for the kids.

Ursula's husband's niece, "Bree," is having a baby boy in two months. I'm not close to Bree and see her only every other year. I plan on giving her lots of the baby clothes, toys and equipment I have. I could have sold them, but chose to give them to Bree. I don't plan on giving her the swing.

Ursula is now reminding me that she and her husband gave me the swing and they would like me to pass it along to Bree. Am I obligated to give what was a gift to me and my children to Bree's child? There were no stipulations when I received it. How do I handle this? -- PUZZLED IN PLANO, TEXAS

DEAR PUZZLED: For Ursula to dictate to you how you dispose of the gift takes a lot of nerve, and no rule of etiquette obligates you to give the swing to Bree. However, unless you want that swing to become a bone of contention and a source of resentment, give it to Bree with a smile. The good feelings it will generate are worth more than $75 -- and the penalty isn't worth it. Trust me.

DEAR ABBY: This may be a dumb question, but I don't have the answer. If my elderly roommate dies (of old age) during the night, who do I call the next morning -- his doctor at a big, impersonal HMO, the county coroner or the cremation society of which he is a prepaid member? He has no living relatives. -- ANXIOUS ROOMIE IN SAN FRANCISCO

DEAR ANXIOUS: Your question is not "dumb." In the event that someone dies at home, the police should be notified so they can be sure the person passed away of natural causes.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby -- Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I wrote you about a year ago regarding my difficulty in finding a single, educated, relationship-minded man. You advised me to lower my high standards and date outside my preconceived notions of who Mr. Right was - - someone younger or without a college degree.

I dated several men who matched the description. At best, things were uninteresting. Taking your suggestion to "get off my high horse," I have been involved for six months with a man slightly younger than I, with a high school education and children. He's a good man, a good father, and treats me like a queen. However, we're completely incompatible. Intellectually, we're miles apart.

Much as I care for him, I am breaking up with him. I have returned to school to work on my MBA and would rather be single the rest of my life than live a lie for the sake of love. The one thing I have learned from this experience is a newfound fulfillment in being single. -- STILL LOOKING IN NEW ORLEANS

DEAR STILL LOOKING: I wish you luck in your search. Over the years I have met people from all walks of life and developed affection as well as respect for their street smarts. I hoped it would work for you. Sorry my advice didn't turn out the way it was intended, but I'm glad you got something positive out of it anyway.

I'm often asked if I hear back from those whose letters I publish. Curious? Read on:

DEAR ABBY: You printed my letter July 6. I signed myself "Adrift in Anderson, S.C." I want you to know things have since improved. My husband and I finally talked, and we decided to work things out. I found a better job and we put our house up for sale. He's doing something different now, too. Money is no longer tight and the pressure is off.

The main thing is, we talked to each other and realized we need to focus on what made us want to be together in the first place. I decided to follow your advice and did exactly what you suggested. And I understand what you mean about not being able to "unring the bell."

Thank you for caring and for printing my letter. Hopefully there won't be any other people texting for divorces they don't want! Sign me ... ANCHORED AGAIN IN S.C.

DEAR ANCHORED: Thank you for the update. I'm pleased to know your situation has improved. Texting may be convenient, but nothing replaces eye contact.

DEAR ABBY: I'm "Sad Dad in Arizona," whose letter appeared May 2 with feedback from your readers on July 2. My wife has a terminal illness and our 15-year-old son didn't want to attend her funeral when the time came. I'd like to thank you and everyone who took the time to write and offer advice.

I'd like to update you on my situation. My mother died recently and my son did attend her funeral. He was apprehensive at first, but handled it much better than he thought he would and he was glad he went.

My wife and I have been going to the Mayo Clinic, and they have given us some hope. While there's no cure for her, there is a medication that may extend her life at least a few more years. On a side note, she finally located her birth father, who lives in another state. She went to visit him and her newfound family before she starts her treatment, which will make her too sick to travel. The visit went well.

A lot can change in a few months. -- FORMERLY SAD DAD

DEAR FORMERLY SAD: I'll say! Your last sentence says it all. I'm sure my readers will be as pleased as I am to know your wife is doing better for now.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more sociable person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)