DEAR ABBY: I am an 18-year-old male, and every day I face judgment, cruel remarks, disapproving stares and other harassment.

The reason? I want to be a tattoo and piercing artist. I currently have one tattoo (which my shirtsleeve covers) and more than 20 piercings. Eight of the piercings are in my face, and most of the others are in my ears. My main ear holes are stretched out to a half-inch.

I can't walk down the street without hearing some comment, or someone stopping and staring, slack-jawed. Even friendly inquiries are becoming irritating. I'm passionate about tattoos and piercings and have been since childhood. I chose my piercings to balance each other and create an art form on my face and ears.

At school I was judged and stereotyped at the beginning of each year and would go out of my way to prove I am a nice, respectable human being with feelings. Now, with a new school term approaching, how can I get people to stop judging me and asking dumb questions like, "How bad did that hurt?" -- FUTURE SKIN ARTIST, PORT HURON, MICH.

DEAR FUTURE SKIN ARTIST: You have chosen to look different, so you shouldn't be surprised at the staring and the questions. The sooner you realize it and learn to answer the questions without being defensive, the better your chances will be of being accepted.

P.S. Perhaps in the future you should consider moving to Los Angeles. In this town everyone has seen almost everything, and people who are different are less shocking.

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating "Daryl" for four years. We're very much in love and usually get along well. The problem is I'm a scheduled-oriented person. I like to plan ahead what we're going to do and what time we're going to do it.

Daryl, on the other hand, hates schedules and sometimes flat-out refuses to commit to something because he "doesn't want to be tied down" to one.

I have tried to be more flexible, and I think Daryl has tried to bend a little for me, too. However, I'm worried that this issue will eventually come between us. I don't want to break up with him over it because I really do love him, and this seems like a petty thing. Please advise. -- CLOCKING IN FROM ILLINOIS

DEAR CLOCKING IN: Your concerns are not petty. I don't know how "loosey-goosey" Daryl is, but men who "refuse to commit" and "don't want to be tied down" are often not only extremely disorganized, but also confirmed bachelors.

You and Daryl have been dating for four years. Please give serious consideration to whether this is the way you want to spend the rest of your life, because your differences will be a constant source of friction.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)

DEAR READERS: Today's column is a continuation of the one I printed yesterday regarding cheating and ethics -- a topic that clearly touched a nerve with many readers.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a retired teacher. Your response regarding high school honor students cheating shows that you do not understand the current school system. Administration is too busy with REAL problems and chooses to ignore this one. In fact, I had "good" students caught using drugs at lunch and nothing was done because "these students are not causing problems in school." -- LARRY IN TEXAS

DEAR LARRY: I disagree with school administrators who pretend that students getting stoned on campus isn't a problem. Those "honor" students may not have been openly disruptive, but they were breaking the law, and that is a serious problem. If there is no accountability, then no solution to a problem is possible.

DEAR ABBY: You're right that ethics have taken a nosedive, but where does it start? It starts in the home. I've seen moms feed their children food at the grocery store and throw the wrapper away without paying for it. Everyone needs to look at the behavior they model for their children and do the right thing. -- DEBBIE IN GREER, S.C.

DEAR ABBY: When I attended college at a small school in Oregon, my English teacher was in her first year of teaching. A few days after the first test I took in her class, she announced that she had proof that someone had cheated. She then discarded those tests and passed out new ones. Frankly, I was glad to have a teacher who didn't look the other way. -- ANNE IN PORTLAND, ORE.

DEAR ABBY: I teach at a state university. If I catch students cheating, they fail my course automatically. In addition, I also have the option of attaching the reason for that failure to their transcripts, which will probably make finding a job more difficult after they leave school, since those transcripts provide proof of their dishonesty to potential employers.

Too many people in our society, students included, opt for the easy way out when challenged. If "Valedictorian Contender" feels guilty about turning in cheaters, he/she should consider that getting caught now might be the best thing that could happen to them. Not only are they cheating themselves out of the learning they would have gained by putting forth the effort to learn the material, but they also risk their chances for future success. -- S.L. IN OHIO

DEAR ABBY: If students today were taught the value of morality by studying literature and philosophy, history and economics, they would develop a higher mind and a greater belief in their own need for a sounder character.

We are assailed on many fronts by problems that seem insurmountable and insoluble, and it's easy to become discouraged. But so long as some of us strive to emphasize the need for honesty and instill in our young charges a sense of outrage for injustice, dishonesty and chicanery, we can avoid what earlier generations called mountebankery, humbug and fraud. -- C.R. IN HOUSTON

DEAR ABBY: I cannot stress the importance of exposing wrongdoing when it is encountered. To quote Robert F. Kennedy: "Every time we turn our heads the other way when we see the law flouted, when we tolerate what we know to be wrong, when we close our eyes and ears to the corrupt because we are too busy or too frightened, when we fail to speak up and speak out, we strike a blow against freedom and decency and justice." -- KERRY IN MONTGOMERY, ALA.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR READERS: When I printed the letter about cheating in school from "Valedictorian Contender" on May 27, my staff and I were deluged with mail. If you're interested in what folks had to say, here is a sample:

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I recently retired from teaching at a highly rated, competitive Midwestern public school. Cheating was rampant, from copying homework to text-messaging during tests in the classroom. When confronted, the cheaters were surprised and usually asserted that "everyone else does it." And they were right.

Cheating occurs in the classroom, in sports, in extra-curricular activities and in the hallways, and has become more acceptable among students than ever before. Teachers are practically powerless to control it; administrators seem to have no idea how to handle it. Parents don't want to get involved for fear of angering their children, and a strong leader may be "asked" to back down from pursuing it.

My husband and I tried many times to make students understand that what they were doing or thinking was wrong and needed to be corrected, only to be met with an incredulous stare, a sneer perhaps, and then, "Can I go now?" We began asking ourselves that same question and realized last year that WE "could go now" -- and we did. More of our time was spent trying to teach moral values and ethics and less was spent on the required curriculum.

You were right when you said people's codes of ethics have taken a nosedive in the last decade. It's rampant in every aspect of life as you mentioned. But when it's rampant in our schools, it eliminates any chance of fixing it for coming generations. -- RETIRED IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR ABBY: In recent years it seems cheating is encouraged by parents. I have seen it when teaching Sunday school to seventh-graders. The father of one of the Scouts in our local Scout troop even called cheating "just a form of competitive advantage."

For a long time I have carried a quote in my wallet that is my favorite saying: "Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter." The person who said it was the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. -- TONY S., NEW MILFORD, CONN.

DEAR ABBY: After teaching in public and private schools for 44 years, I believe that most students are honest the majority of the time. However, I would advise "Valedictorian" to pay attention. Make mental notes of the names of her classmates who cheat every chance they get. Do not forget who they are. She will be meeting them all the rest of her life.

If they go into business, shop elsewhere. If they become bankers, put your money elsewhere. If they go into the service industries, get your car or your teeth repaired somewhere else.

Above all, do not let your siblings marry one of them -- marriage is the biggest "test" of all. -- E.B., LINDEN, ALA.

DEAR ABBY: Your reply to "Valedictorian" was, as usual, on target. The notion of (personal) responsibility is another "R" that should be taught in school. -- WAY TO GO IN MONTANA

DEAR WAY TO GO: Thank you for the kind words, but I beg to differ. Responsibility for one's actions should be taught in the home, by example, by the parents. Readers, more on this tomorrow.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)