DEAR ABBY: I am a small-business owner who does the hiring for my company. I hope you will share some suggestions for young people who are now applying for postgraduate jobs.

(1) Every contact with a prospective employer is a mini-interview. Present yourself appropriately. I have received many inappropriate e-mails. Example: "Hey, when would this gig start?" Please remember to use a salutation and communicate politely and clearly.

(2) Many companies post a great deal of information about job openings on their Web sites. Read the site carefully before calling so I won't waste time answering questions you could have answered on your own.

(3) Shortcuts may be cute when text-messaging your friends, but in business they are annoying and unprofessional. Avoid messages such as "Thnx 4 ur help. Talk 2 u later!"

(4) Because I must read your resume and application, please proofread it for spelling, grammar and typos.

(5) Many Internet sites now offer free e-mail. Set up an account using your name or initial so I don't have to e-mail "hotchick99" with an offer to teach young children.

(6) If you have a phone interview, please find a quiet place from which to place the call. It is difficult to understand you above your roommate who is cursing over a video game.

(7) Never, ever tell a prospective employer you are waiting to hear about a job you want more, that pays more or gives you more "fun" time. Simply say you are "exploring all your options," and I will understand.

By the way, Abby, I am not an old fuddy-duddy. I am a 26-year-old professional who expects more from my peers than I have seen. -- EXASPERATED RECRUITER IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR EXASPERATED RECRUITER: Your suggestions are excellent. I am sure they will be appreciated not only by first-time job applicants, but also their prospective employers.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 14-year-old girl. I don't get angry often, but when I do my parents disregard it by calling me a "hormonal teenager." They say things like, "She's such a CHARMING 14-year-old" and "There are hormones raging." I find their comments hurtful and degrading.

Please don't misunderstand. My parents are usually nice, but when something bothers me they automatically resort to the above comments. I personally believe I am pretty good at handling and expressing my emotions calmly. It just seems that my parents don't consider the credibility of my emotions and blame them on my being a teen. Is it wrong for them to say these things? What should I do when they say them? -- DISREGARDED IN OREGON

DEAR DISREGARDED: No one of any age wants to feel patronized, and that goes for people from 13 to 93. (And, interestingly, it happens to people from both ends of the spectrum.) If your parents want to exchange comments like the ones you mentioned, it would be better if they did so in private. However, if they are saying things like, "She's such a charming 14-year-old," it may be a clue to the fact that you're acting like anything BUT -- and perhaps you should find a more mature and controlled way of expressing your emotions.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: My children are 10 and 12. When my wife and I suggest that we all do something together, they whine and moan. We have to force them to go, or end up getting upset with them and staying home.

We live five minutes from the beach, but the kids say they "don't like" going to the beach. The bay is down the road, and we used to fish there all the time, have picnics, visit the local zoo and other outdoor activities. But we rarely go anymore. It seems that unless it involves spending money -- like going on boardwalk rides or trips to the arcade -- the children don't want to go. They would rather play on the computer, watch TV, or ride their bikes up and down the street.

Should we ease up and let them do their own thing since they are getting older, or continue to try to do family things together? -- DISAPPOINTED DAD, NORTH CAPE MAY, N.J.

DEAR DAD: You and your wife are the parents in your family, and your wishes should be respected. Yes, your children are getting older, but doing something as a family twice a month isn't a punishment.

Perhaps you should ask them what THEY would like to do as a family. Another thought: Allow them both to include a friend in these activities. It could turn out to be more fun for all concerned. Give it a try.

DEAR ABBY: My girlfriend, "Cindy," recently moved in with me. We have a history of fighting, often to exhaustion. I have been trying hard to improve my communication skills.

Something that troubles me is a tactic of hers that forces me to stay in the conversation when I need to take a break from it. Cindy literally stands in front of me when I'm trying to go outside to calm down. She will position herself in front of me without actually touching me, so I have to make physical contact in order to get out the door. Then she claims that I am abusive because of the extreme physical contact needed to get by her. If I give up and stay in the house, her verbal abuse will continue.

I feel trapped. I either endure her verbal abuse until she runs out of steam, or fall into her trap and become someone who physically abuses his girlfriend. I am twice Cindy's size, so I don't think authorities will buy my story of feeling trapped should she show them any marks I leave while trying to push through the door. What's the answer? -- HELD HOSTAGE IN MICHIGAN

DEAR HELD HOSTAGE: Recognize that you and Cindy are too combustible a combination to have a healthy relationship and end it now. And when you do, be sure to have witnesses present who can help her pack her things.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 17-year-old girl who can't swing up on a horse. Hard as I try, I just get laughed at by the people in my riding club. I keep practicing, but nothing works. What can I do? I need help, even my friends say so. -- HOPELESS IN UTAH

DEAR HOPELESS: Try this. Go to a gym and have a trainer prescribe some exercises to increase the strength in your arms and legs. If you follow my advice, I predict that in a few months you will be the person getting the last laugh. (If that doesn't work, you may need a shorter horse.)

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)

DEAR ABBY: I am a 38-year-old woman enrolled in night school. A favorite professor of mine is a 46-year-old woman for whom I had a great deal of respect. We had some mutual interests and became casual friends. We'd grab a cup of coffee now and then, and she'd call me at work occasionally to say "hi."

Over time, we double-dated with our husbands (who hit it off), going out to eat or see a movie.

It has now reached the point where my professor expects to have lunch with me two and three times a week. She singles me out in class as an obvious "favorite," and calls me daily at work. She gets mad if I skip a class and says she doesn't want to teach then. She has become rude and disrespectful to her husband, and spends more time and effort trying to be with me than with him.

Abby, I feel suffocated. My husband and I are the kind of people who respect the need for space. I can't handle a clingy friend. I sometimes wish I had never signed up for night school. -- SUFFOCATED STUDENT IN MADISON

DEAR SUFFOCATED: It appears your teacher has formed a crush on you. The woman may also have some unresolved emotional problems. Begin to extricate yourself by being less and less available for phone calls and lunch dates. Not everyone can accept personal calls during working hours, or make the time to indulge in involved conversations. You also have a right to lunch with others, or to have other plans. That is not a "rejection" of this new-found friend; it is creating boundaries, which you should begin doing immediately.

If your professor becomes punitive, discuss this with the head of the department or the dean of the school and ask if you can switch classes. This woman's behavior is not only unprofessional, but possibly unethical.

DEAR ABBY: I was widowed three years ago at the age of 40. A previous decade-long marriage ended in an amicable divorce. Since my husband's death, I have been engaged twice but have broken off both relationships for sound reasons. My most recent engagement was to a man who turned out not only to be manipulative and controlling, but also had an undisclosed mental illness.

Is it normal not to want another relationship? I'm enjoying the time and freedom to pursue my hobbies and friendships. Most men my age seem to have more emotional or financial baggage that I want to take on, and a "Me Tarzan, you Jane" attitude that I find unacceptable. Am I on the rebound, in denial or just self-fulfilled? -- LOVING THE SINGLE LIFE

DEAR LOVING: You do not appear to be either on the rebound or in denial. You appear to be genuinely grateful for the good things in your life and in no hurry to encumber yourself. Those are attractive traits, and I predict that one of these days you will meet someone who recognizes it.

DEAR ABBY: At sporting events and parades, when we rise for the national anthem, are women supposed to remove their hats? -- A PATRIOT IN OHIO

DEAR A PATRIOT: No. According to "Emily Post's Etiquette," women's hats do not have to be removed during the national anthem.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)