DEAR ABBY: I work in the personnel office of a municipality. We will soon be hiring new staff for the school system, and each year I am amazed by some of the behavior I see. Allow me to offer a few tips for new hires in ANY business.

(1) Please dress appropriately. I'm sure you did for the interview, so do it again when you stop by personnel. Before you leave your home, bend over in front of a mirror as if you were at a desk or counter. And check both the front and back views. I have seen parts of the anatomy that should be viewed only by your doctor or spouse. Also, that floral tattoo on your abdomen may be cute in a bikini, but it's inappropriate for an office.

(2) Please leave your children at home. You must have hired a sitter for your interview. Please do it again for your visit to personnel. While we try to explain your health insurance and other benefits to you, you should not be chasing a 2-year-old around the office or down the hall.

(3) Please turn off your cell phone. This is not an appropriate time to discuss a luncheon date with your neighbor. Also, if your family can't survive 20 minutes without speaking to you, perhaps you should not be in our office. -- SEEN IT ALL IN CENTRAL MAINE

DEAR SEEN IT ALL (and I'm sure you have): Thank you for your commonsense suggestions. Different offices hold employees to different standards of dress and behavior. Until a new employee is certain of what those standards are, the sensible thing to do is to err on the side of conservatism in both manner and dress. A word to the wise ...

DEAR ABBY: Summer begins tomorrow, and many parents are wondering how to keep their children entertained. I have a simple no-cost answer to that dilemma: Visit your local library.

Most libraries offer summer programs for kids that not only encourage them to read, but also provide access to wonderful educational opportunities. Libraries offer adult programs as well, which allow us parents a chance to enjoy a few good books while demonstrating to our kids how much fun it is to read.

My children are excited to be a part of the summer program, and I am thrilled that they have something to look forward to. -- BOOK MOM IN TEXAS

DEAR BOOK MOM: Great suggestion. There are exciting new worlds to be explored by both children and adults between the covers of books. Although it can vary by region, some libraries offer programs for children that include reading clubs, puppet shows, story time, and sometimes more. Parents should check to see what's available, because learning what a valuable resource the public library is, is an important lesson in itself.

DEAR ABBY: I have two children under the age of 4. When they address adults -- including baby sitters -- I have taught them to preface it with "Ms." or "Mr." and the person's first name. We consider it a form of respect, and although I realize that each parent has her (or his) own take on this, it has begun to bother me when their children address us by our first names. Am I making a big deal out of nothing? -- WONDERING IN LIVONIA, MICH.

DEAR WONDERING: As you point out, different families have different standards. Because you prefer to be called "Ms.," bring it not only to the attention of the child, but also to the child's parent, and your wishes should be respected.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: The letter from "Not Ready to Kick the Butts in Kenosha" (April 13), the smoker asking how to respond to people who lectured him/her about quitting, had ME "smoking." "Not Ready" said it's none of their business. And, with reservations, you agreed.

This is a common argument used by many addicts, whether their substance of choice is tobacco, alcohol, cocaine, heroin or food. Consider this: The "Not Readys" will turn 65 -- if they're lucky -- and go on Medicare, or they may wind up on disability or Medicaid before age 65 because of the choices they claim are nobody else's business.

Please tell me if you think you'll ever receive letters signed "Not Ready to Get a Disability Check Every Month Because I Won't Quit," or "Not Ready to Let Everybody Else Pay 80 Percent of My $276,000 Hospital Bill," or "Not Ready to Let Everyone Else Pay $1,500 a Month for My Oxygen and Medications." -- DR. STEVEN IN RENO

DEAR DR. STEVEN: I doubt I'll get many -- or any. While I agree with you, you should know that the letter from "Not Ready to Kick the Butts" inflamed the emotions of smokers and non-smokers alike. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I was surprised at your reply to "Not Ready." It was rude and judgmental, and you owe that writer an apology. As a former smoker, I think (s)he has every right to smoke. Everyone at this point knows the risks. Smokers are behaving respectfully by smoking outside and away from non-smokers. The final sentence of your "advice" -- to "try not to breathe on them because it could be hazardous to their health" -- was out of line. -- CHRISTINA IN NOBLE, OKLA.

DEAR ABBY: People with an allergy to tobacco don't have to be exposed to the smoke itself, or even be able to smell the cigarette to have an adverse reaction. My ex-boyfriend was a secret smoker. He would have a single cigarette outside work in the late morning, wash his hands thoroughly, then go out with me at night. Every single time, within minutes of sitting next to him, my asthma would flare up enough to require me to use my inhaler.

Anyone who sits within 3 feet of a smoker for the rest of the day is exposed. And when you consider people with asthma, cystic fibrosis or other lung disorders, the smoker's personal choices are NOT limited to just his/her own health. -- SENSITIVE TO SMOKE IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR ABBY: As I sit here, sadly watching my husband of 42 years waste away from the ravages of tobacco, I wish "Not Ready" lived here. I'd invite that person to sit with me and watch the chemicals from the chemo drip into his arm, with the follow-up nausea, rash, hair loss and fatigue.

My husband smoked for 30 years, but quit 34 years ago. The doctors say his disease began when he took that first puff. -- JUDI IN SAN DIEGO

DEAR ABBY: All smokers know the effects of smoking, and as long as we choose to do it, IT'S OUR CHOICE. We are lectured every day about it. "Not Ready" was being respectful, so why can't non-smokers reciprocate and leave us smokers alone? The help is out there if we choose to seek it. -- STILL SMOKING IN IOWA

DEAR ABBY: A chain-smoking Marine Corps gunnery sergeant once told me: "Anyone can quit smoking. It takes a REAL man to risk lung cancer." -- MARSHALL IN VIENNA, VA.

DEAR MARSHALL: And where is that Marine today?

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)

DEAR ABBY: Please help me alert your readers about an important program launched by companies in the information technology (IT) industry to educate, train, certify and provide job placement assistance for returning veterans. Military who successfully complete the Creating Futures program will have the knowledge and skill level they need to start a rewarding career in IT.

Creating Futures is free for all participants. The cost is covered by organizational sponsors such as HP, Xerox and Ricoh.

The Creating Futures program is tailored to help individuals with various levels of skill. Individuals who have honed their computer skills in the military will be taught how to transfer those skills to civilian life, and those who are new to IT will be taught the basic skills they need to pursue a career in information technology.

Returning veterans, people with disabilities, youth-at-risk and dislocated workers interested in participating in the program should visit � HYPERLINK "http://www.creatingfutures.us" ��www.creatingfutures.us� for information on how to participate. -- JOHN VENATOR, COMPUTER TECHNOLOGY INDUSTRY ASSOCIATION

DEAR JOHN: Thank you for bringing this to the attention of my readers. I'm sure many individuals in each of the categories you mentioned will be interested in learning more about the Creating Futures program.

Readers, as workers in the baby boom generation begin retiring, they will leave a significant gap in the talent pool of the technology industry. The Bureau of Labor Statistics projects that there will be 600,000 more jobs than available employees in the IT industry by 2012. This could be opportunity knocking, so please spread the word.

DEAR ABBY: I have been fortunate in most areas of my life. I have a loving husband, a beautiful apartment, and will graduate from law school in a few months. My problem is my parents are indifferent about anything I have achieved in my life. They refuse to visit our home or acknowledge my milestones -- like high school or college graduations and my wedding.

What have I done wrong to make them so ashamed of me? And how can I make them love me and show some pride in their eldest daughter? -- UPSET DOWN SOUTH

DEAR UPSET: You have accomplished much in your young life. That your parents are unable -- or unwilling -- to give you the acknowledgment you crave is more a reflection on them than it is on you. Not knowing them, I can't say what their reason is.

However, you are no longer a child. Rather than continue blaming yourself, it's time to take a long, hard look at THEM and ask yourself what kind of people would treat their firstborn child the way you have been treated. Then draw your own conclusions and go on with your life.

You can't get blood from a stone, and you can't force loveless people to love you. But you can stop beating yourself up for not being able to "please" them and go on to live a happy and useful life, and that's what I'm advising you to do.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)