DEAR ABBY: My fiance, "Keith," and I are being married at the end of June. We met at a fraternity party last fall and knew right away we were meant for each other. We're both in college in Hawaii. We don't live together -- and that has been lucky for me because Keith doesn't realize how inexperienced I am in the kitchen.

He comes from the mainland. He is used to home-cooked meals and has often talked about family dinners and how good his mom is at entertaining. The only thing my mom is good at is making reservations. At our house if we didn't eat out, we ate takeout.

I know Keith will expect me to cook after our wedding -- at least sometimes. I have gone to the bookstore at the mall, but all the fancy cookbooks with elaborate recipes overwhelm me. All I want to do is learn to make a few simple dishes. Can you help me out here? -- COOKING IMPAIRED IN HONOLULU

DEAR COOKING IMPAIRED: I'll try. Where is it written that after your wedding, YOU must do all the cooking? These days many couples share that responsibility by taking turns or cooking together. If you raise the subject with your fiance, you may find that Keith not only enjoyed family dinners, but also spent time with his mother in the kitchen while she prepared them.

If that turns out not to be the case, then you and Keith should consider taking a basic cooking course together before -- or shortly after -- the wedding, so you don't starve to death.

Many brides-to-be are given "recipe showers" in which friends and relatives share favorite, easy-to-prepare family favorites to ease them on the path to domesticity. I'm sure if you asked your future mother-in-law, she would be pleased to contribute some of hers.

I publish a collection of more than 100 delicious recipes for soups, salads, main course and desserts. Not only are they time-tested and mouthwatering, they are also easy to prepare. They can be ordered by sending a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. Shipping and handling are included in the price.

Summer is nearly here, and with it comes the promise of family reunions and visits. My cookbooklet set contains tips on entertaining, and lots of recipes to use when families get together to celebrate holidays and special occasions. Both my mother and I have used them with great success when entertaining friends and family.

DEAR ABBY: I was standing with a friend when another friend came over to us and said loudly, "You two are really short!" The friend I was standing with walked off offended, while I just stood there looking at the ignorant person and not knowing what to say. Let me explain, this isn't the first time the ignoramus has said this to me. What would you do in this situation? -- SPEECHLESS IN AUBURN, CALIF.

DEAR SPEECHLESS: Frankly, I'd probably say, "Life is short, and so is this conversation. Goodbye!" Then I'd rejoin the friend I had been standing with. I certainly wouldn't prolong the conversation.

DEAR ABBY: I am in my sunset years and not well. I know my time is short, but I have one bright spot in my life -- my 5-year-old grandson, "Connor."

Because the little fella stayed with us after preschool and spent much time with us, my wife and I are especially fond of him.

Our problem? Connor's dad (our son) and his wife (the child's mother) disapprove of our fondness for Connor. They say they don't want the boy "hurt" by my impending death and now keep him away from us as much as possible.

Abby, we adore our grandchild. We're heartbroken that he is being kept away from us much of the time simply because his parents are afraid he will grieve when his Paw-Paw dies. What should we do? -- PAW-PAW AND MAW-MAW IN ALABAMA

DEAR PAW-PAW: Your son and daughter-in-law mean well, but they are misguided in trying to "protect" their son from one of the inescapable realities of life. They may be trying to avoid their own issues having to do with death.

You need to have a serious talk with them. Connor's relationship with you and his grandmother is a positive one, regardless of the state of your health. It might be helpful to enlist the assistance of your spiritual adviser and/or your physician.

Death is a part of life, and as sad as these partings may be, children usually recover with amazing resiliency. To cheat Connor -- and you -- out of the short time you have left together is a mistake.

DEAR ABBY: I have been involved with "Alex" for almost five years. We have lived together for two of these five years and have been having problems in the last year or so.

I'm interested in getting some kind of relationship counseling, as I am confident we can work things out once the lines of communication are opened again. My problem is I don't know where to look. I often hear about marriage counseling. Is that only for married people? If you have any ideas, I'd be grateful. -- BECKIE IN BOSTON

DEAR BECKIE: Your physician should be able to refer you to a counselor who can help. Marriage counseling is a form of couples counseling or relationship counseling, and it will work for any couple -- married or not -- who are willing to work at it.

If Alex is open to the idea, some sessions could help you establish healthier, more direct and meaningful communication with each other. I hope you can talk him into going and wish you the best of luck.

DEAR ABBY: I have recently moved from New Jersey to Florida. When I am invited to someone's home for a party or dinner, I always bring a hostess gift, wine or dessert. However, when I invite these people to my home, they wrap or pack up what they brought and take it with them when they leave.

I have never experienced this where I was raised. Is this proper? -- NEWCOMER TO FORT PIERCE, FLA.

DEAR NEWCOMER: Not where I come from it isn't. The term "hostess gift" means it is a GIFT for the person hosting the party or dinner. It should be left with the host or hostess to enjoy at any time the person wishes -- and it does not have to be shared with the guests. To march into the person's kitchen, wrap and take home the unused portion without it being offered is just plain rude.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: As you know, most women invest a lot of time in addition to money so they can look and feel beautiful.

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration's Office of Women's Health would like to encourage women to get the most out of their health and beauty products by taking the time to read the directions and following them properly. Our message to women is, "Take Time to Care About ... Health and Beauty."

In celebration of National Women's Health Week (May 11 to May 17), we are offering a free Health and Beauty Kit that includes tools for making informed choices about the cosmetics and other products women use every day. This collection of fact sheets is available in English and Spanish, and is an example of how the FDA has been working to promote the safe use of health and beauty products ever since the landmark Food, Drug and Cosmetic Act was signed in 1938.

Please let your readers know about this opportunity. The information will be sent to them without charge. This effort has already been paid for with taxpayer dollars, including postage and handling. -- KATHLEEN UHL, M.D., ASSISTANT COMMISSIONER FOR WOMEN'S HEALTH

DEAR KATHLEEN: I'm pleased to pass the word along, and congratulations for 70 years of progress on cosmetic safety. Your Health and Beauty Kit is informative, and I'm sure readers will find the tips and easy-to-read materials on cosmetics, contact lenses (and more) of interest.

For the quickest service, the kits should be ordered online at � HYPERLINK "http://www.pueblo.gsa.gov" ��www.pueblo.gsa.gov�. If you do not have online access, send your name and address to Health/Beauty Information Kit, Pueblo, CO 81009, or call toll-free: (888) 878-3256, 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. Eastern Time, Monday through Friday, and ask for the Health and Beauty Information Kit. Readers, order your kit today because quantities are limited.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I haven't lived here very long. Our only company is a dear friend, "Sid," who lives nearby. I love to entertain and have guests over, so naturally I invite Sid to dinner quite often.

My problem is Sid never arrives on time for a meal. I usually have to tell him dinner will be ready an hour earlier than it really will be, so he'll show up before it is finished cooking.

I take pride in having everything ready at once for a large meal. When I must keep things warm for an hour or more extra, it not only ruins the mood but the food dries out. At Easter we had Sid over and told him dinner would be at 1 p.m. When I called him at 1:30, he told me he hadn't even showered or shaved yet to come over.

Is there a polite way to show my frustration at Sid's lack of punctuality, or should I stop inviting him to join us for meals? I don't want to be rude. -- FRUSTRATED IN THE KITCHEN

DEAR FRUSTRATED: By all means stop inviting Sid for meals. Instead, invite him for leftovers, and if he asks why, do not be shy about explaining (politely, of course). And, because you love to entertain, I'm advising you to join some service organizations so you can widen your circle of friends.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)