DEAR ABBY: I recently moved in with my 41-year-old fiance, "Sean." He's a great guy, never married, no children, and I love him dearly.
I have discovered something disturbing about Sean. He has this "security fur" he can't part with. He told me he has used it since he was very young and says that the feel of it calms him down. However, I believe the "fur" has other uses besides being his security blanket.
When I became upset about it, Sean hid it from me. He only came clean (somewhat) after I told him I don't like finding those pieces of fur. I have found them in his bed, in his robe pocket, in between the sofa cushions, etc. How can I break him of this "habit"? It makes me uncomfortable, and I guess the truth is I'm somewhat jealous of the darn thing. Besides, it reminds me of a dead animal.
How can I get the fur out of both of our lives without destroying our relationship and jeopardizing our upcoming marriage? -- FUR-IOUS IN PENNSYLVANIA
DEAR FUR-IOUS: Over the years, I have received mail from more than a few readers who have told me they still have remnants of their baby blankets they're unable to part with -- and that touching the fabric calms them when they're agitated. However, because you suspect that your fiance may use the fur for "other things," it is important that you be clear on exactly what they are before you marry him.
My advice is to have a frank, nonthreatening chat with Sean -- in the presence of a marriage counselor, if necessary -- and get to the bottom of it. If Sean has a fur fetish -- and by that I mean he needs it for arousal -- you will have to decide if this "kink" is something you can live with.