DEAR ABBY: I'm 26 and concerned about my parents' future. They are in their late 40s and have absolutely nothing saved for retirement. Dad has a physically demanding job and won't be able to do it forever, and they are currently in debt up to their ears.

There are six kids in our family. I appreciate the fact that my parents are blowing off some steam when it comes to spending money, since they were unable to do it while we were all younger. However, I feel it's time they look at the big picture.

If something was to happen to Dad or he was unable to work, they'd lose everything. At this point, they will be unable to pay for any of their own expenses when they're older, and my siblings and I don't have money to support them. Our youngest brother still lives at home and is adopting the same spending habits as Mom and Dad.

How would you recommend we speak to our parents? They tend to be sensitive about these matters. Do you know of any articles or books we could reference when speaking to them? -- PENNYWISE IN ST. PETE, FLA.

DEAR PENNYWISE: Assuming that you and your four adult siblings are equally concerned about your parents' welfare, you should approach them as a group. It's still not too late for them to start saving and investing for their retirement years. And you and the others could help them by offering to match what they save each month. Even a small amount adds up.

If the five of you each put in $20 a month ($100), and your parents put in $100, at the end of a year they would have $2,400. By the time your father was ready to retire in 20 years, they'd have some serious money put away -- not counting any increase in the value of their investments.

The U.S. General Services Administration Federal Citizen Information Center offers free information that could help you. Log on to � HYPERLINK "http://www.pueblo.gsa.gov" ��www.pueblo.gsa.gov� and look under the heading "Retirement Planning" in the "Money" section. You'll find lots of good advice, and you can even order free and low-cost booklets on saving and investing and much more. Or call (888) 8-Pueblo ((888) 878-3256) for a free Consumer Information Catalog. Also check your local library.

Your parents may or may not be receptive to this idea. However, if you turn the matching money into a "game," they'll be more likely to go for it. Good luck.

DEAR ABBY: Last year, against the advice of my friends and family, I forgave my ex-boyfriend. He swore he loved me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. I let him back into my life and let him talk to me about marriage and the future.

Within a few months he was up to his old tricks again, chasing other women, so I had to send him packing.

How do I forgive myself for being so stupid? I believed he loved me, and I am furious with myself for falling for his charm and his lies. My family isn't being very supportive because they didn't want me to reconcile. Please help me. -- FOOLED ME TWICE IN COLUMBUS, OHIO

DEAR FOOLED: Please stop beating yourself up. You're an optimistic person who believed in second chances, and your ex-boyfriend abused your trust.

Now that you understand he is incapable of change, it's time to learn from this experience and go on with your life. We learn more from our mistakes than our successes -- and the lesson you will take from this is to draw the line sooner if you notice a person's words don't match his deeds.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)

DEAR ABBY: From time to time you print letters about finding "pennies from heaven." Are you ready for another one?

Our daughter is adopting a little boy, and our other daughter was hosting a yard sale to raise money for the airfare to bring the child to this country.

My mother, a widow, had donated my father's racing bike. It was hard for her to let go of it because Dad had won many senior Olympic medals with it.

The bike sold the first day, and I immediately called Mom to tell her the news. Right after I hung up the phone with her, I looked down at the table where my grandsons had been helping me count change. In the middle of a pile of dimes was a penny. When I picked it up, I saw it was a "wheatie." Then I turned it over and couldn't believe my eyes. The date on the penny was 1918, the year my father was born.

Although this may not be your typical "pennies from heaven" story, I truly believe it was a penny from heaven -- a message from Dad that he was glad to contribute to our yard sale and was with us in spirit. -- JACLYN IN BALLWIN, MO.

DEAR JACLYN: And don't ever let anyone try to convince you otherwise.

DEAR ABBY: When I went to my favorite restaurant recently, I noticed that the menu had changed. I asked our server if I could have an entree from the previous menu. She said she loved the dish too, and would ask the chef if he would make it for me. He agreed, and dinner was lovely.

My fiance and I returned to this restaurant last night, and I told him I wanted to order my favorite dish again. He told me that ordering something not on the menu is rude. I don't see it that way. In fact, I would think that it would be regarded as a compliment to the chef because it meant I had enjoyed the way he prepared it for me before. Besides, the chef agreed to do it for me the last time we were there.

Who is right -- my fiance or me? -- CHEF'S SPECIAL FOR ONE

DEAR SPECIAL: Your fiance may have been afraid that ordering something that was not on the menu would be more expensive, and that's why he objected. Also, if the restaurant was extremely busy that night, I could understand why asking for something "special" might be an imposition.

However, since the chef had prepared it for you before, and because restaurants are in the business of selling food, there was nothing "rude" about your request. The next time you call to make reservations, ask in advance if the chef can prepare your special dish for you.

DEAR ABBY: I read your column every day, and I never see the grammar and punctuation errors I typically encounter. Are the letters you publish revised, or are only the most literate and conscientious people moved to write to you? -- ENGLISH TEACHER IN AUSTIN, TEXAS

DEAR ENGLISH TEACHER: Everyone who writes to me is "conscientious." However, there are some errors in spelling, grammar or punctuation in the letters that cross my desk.

My staff, my syndicate editors and I try to ensure that any errors are corrected before a letter appears in print. To perpetuate the errors by printing them would set a bad example or distract from the question being presented.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Richie," and I have been together three years. Richie watches his pennies, so I was very surprised two days before Valentine's Day to return from a family trip and find a gorgeous vase of professionally arranged flowers and a small heart-shaped box of chocolates on my coffee table.

I was very impressed, surprised and excited. I asked Richie where he got them, and he told me the name of a high-priced florist. I was off work the day before Valentine's Day, so I went out, bought expensive wine and filet mignon and made a fantastic home-cooked meal for him.

When Richie got home from work, I asked him again where he got the flowers, and he again named the florist. I asked if he really went and got them, and if they were really intended for me. (It was just so out of character for him to splurge like that. The arrangement must have cost at least $100.) When he didn't respond, I probed some more. He finally confessed they were from a funeral his parents had attended the day before I got home.

Can you believe Richie was trying to pass off flowers from a complete stranger's funeral as nice flowers he got me for Valentine's Day? He lied to me. Now he says I'm ungrateful and that there's nothing wrong with what he did! I told him he is greedy and cheap, and the thoughtful thing to do with leftover funeral flowers would have been to take them to a cancer ward at a hospital or to a local nursing home.

What do you think? Am I overreacting? I'm afraid this may be a deal-breaker. -- ANN IN GRAND RAPIDS, MICH.

DEAR ANN: You're not overreacting. Your feelings are justified. You now know exactly what kind of things Richie is capable of -- and being generous to make you happy is not on his agenda. Wake up and smell the flowers. You have glimpsed what your future will be like if you marry him. When it comes to making you happy, Richie will always be playing the angles, and you will be shortchanged because he is cheap.

DEAR ABBY: Will you please suggest a response that will end the conversation when someone comments in a negative way on how young I look, and asks what I have done? I'm 69, but look a decade younger.

I grew up plain and poor, but became a successful professional and changed my appearance. I have had hair and makeup lessons, advice on clothing and cosmetic surgery.

I often receive rude comments from both strangers and acquaintances who have chosen to age "naturally." I'm not interested in answering their sly questions about cosmetic surgery, but because I'm usually accosted in social settings, I don't want to be rude. I just want to make them realize that I consider their questions impolite and want them to shut up. Any ideas? -- PRETTY CAN BE BOUGHT, WACO, TEXAS

DEAR PRETTY (Regardless of how you got that way): Has it not occurred to you to be proud of what you have accomplished? You are a successful professional, and you should enjoy it and all of the "perks" that go with it. You may have grown up plain and poor, but you have turned yourself into a "swan." Why are you defensive about it? If you can help another woman by sharing information, it would be the generous thing to do.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)