life

Keeping Track of Passwords Is Word to the Wise Online

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | March 4th, 2008 | Letter 1 of 4

DEAR ABBY: Allow me to draw your readers' attention to the importance of keeping track of their online log-in information. We all know it's smart to keep photocopies of our driver's license, credit cards, etc. With as much time as some of us spend online, in addition to the billions of dollars we spend there as a nation, it's wise to keep track of sundry log-in details as well.

I keep track of the various Web sites from which I make purchases -- the Web site name, user name and my password -- because various Web sites require different information.

Please suggest that your readers compile this information in a single document and print it out from time to time. Keep a hard copy in a safe place with other important papers. That way, if anything should happen to them, family members will be able to access these Web sites, delete saved credit card information and close the accounts. -- KATHERINE V., EAST LIVERPOOL, OHIO

DEAR KATHERINE V.: You have offered an excellent suggestion, and I'm pleased to pass it along. Readers, because none of us know when an emergency such as incapacitation (or death) should strike, this "insurance policy" could be invaluable to those left to handle our affairs. (This does not apply to those of you who plan to live forever.)

To secure log-in/password information, print out the document you have created and put it in a safe-deposit box or under lock and key in a file cabinet. If you keep the document in your computer, be sure to secure it with a strong password or use commercially available privacy software.

life

Dear Abby for March 04, 2008

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | March 4th, 2008 | Letter 2 of 4

DEAR ABBY: At what age do you discontinue using the term "Master" before a young boy's name when addressing an envelope? I have searched books without success. I hope you can help. -- MS. D. IN PORT CHARLOTTE, FLA.

DEAR MS. D.: Good question. According to my 16th Edition of "Emily Post's Etiquette" by Peggy Post: "Boys may be addressed as 'Master' on envelopes and formal correspondence until they are about 7 years old, and 'Mr.' when they become 18. In between, no title is used."

life

Dear Abby for March 04, 2008

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | March 4th, 2008 | Letter 3 of 4

DEAR ABBY: Most people complain about their jobs because they feel they don't make enough money. My problem is the opposite. I love my job, but I think I make too much money.

My job is mostly simple work that could be done by anybody -- yet I earn almost as much as my husband, who is a supervisor in a technical field. My boss always gives me excellent reviews and doesn't seem concerned.

It's nice to have the kind of job that isn't stressful. But I feel guilty that a lot of people with more difficult jobs make less than I do. Should I tell my boss to give me a pay cut, or take the money and run? -- CUT OR RUN IN WISCONSIN

DEAR CUT OR RUN: I won't reveal your exact location because many people would kill to have your job. The answer to your question is you should neither ask for a pay cut nor take the money and run. Feeling as you do, you should donate every cent you feel you are overpaid to a charity (or to a therapist who can help you overcome your sense of guilt).

life

Dear Abby for March 04, 2008

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | March 4th, 2008 | Letter 4 of 4

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)

life

Active Mom's Kidney Disease Comes as Unwelcome Surprise

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | March 3rd, 2008 | Letter 1 of 3

DEAR ABBY: I was a healthy, vibrant mother of one with a steady government job. I saw my doctor regularly for checkups, since both my parents have high blood pressure. As an active, health-conscious vegetarian, I thought I was at my physical peak.

When I experienced nausea and lower back pain, I expected my doctor to tell me my 4-year-old daughter was going to have a sister or brother. Instead, I was informed that my kidneys were barely working and I needed to see a specialist at once. That's when my life began spinning out of control. I was told I would need dialysis to keep me alive!

How could this happen? Where were the warning signs and symptoms? Why wasn't my kidney function checked during previous doctor visits? There were no answers to these questions.

No one in my family was able to donate a kidney to me because everyone had high blood pressure. So I went on dialysis and learned everything I could about kidney disease. After 10 years of dialysis, I finally received a successful kidney transplant.

Many people don't realize that high blood pressure and diabetes are the two leading causes of kidney disease. More than 26 million Americans have chronic kidney disease, and millions more are at risk. Screening for kidney function is not part of a routine physical examination, and kidney disease generally shows no symptoms -- so if you have a family history of high blood pressure or diabetes, you are at risk.

Simple blood and urine tests could save your life. So please don't put off what you can take care of today. Tomorrow could be too late. -- DAWN P. EDWARDS, LAKE SUCCESS, N.Y.

DEAR DAWN: Thank you for your informative eye-opener of a letter. I am pleased that you finally got your kidney transplant because I know what a life-changing difference it has made for you and your daughter -- truly a new beginning.

Readers, March is National Kidney Month, and March 13 is World Kidney Day. That's the day the National Kidney Foundation holds free screenings in 30 cities across the country. The screening program is called "KEEP," or Kidney Early Evaluation Program.

You can learn more about kidney disease by visiting � HYPERLINK "http://www.kidney.org" ��www.kidney.org�. To find the KEEP screening nearest you, log onto � HYPERLINK "http://www.keeponline.org" ��www.keeponline.org�, or call the National Kidney Foundation toll-free at 800-622-9010.

life

Dear Abby for March 03, 2008

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | March 3rd, 2008 | Letter 2 of 3

DEAR ABBY: I have been going through a very selective interview process toward getting the job of my dreams. The problem is, I have a vacation planned for three months from now. When is the correct time to inform my prospective employer of this preplanned, prepaid and non-refundable trip? (It's my husband's dream vacation, and I would hate to have to let him down.) -- MS. PROFESSIONAL IN CLEVELAND, GA.

DEAR MS. PROFESSIONAL: Inform your prospective employer immediately that you have a prepaid vacation planned. The person doing the hiring will respect you for doing so, and you should not lose out on the "job of your dreams."

I am speaking from personal experience when I say this because when I hired my personal assistant, Sherry, she let me know during the interview that she had not one but two trips planned. I respected her candor, hired her, and consider her to be one of the major blessings in my life.

life

Dear Abby for March 03, 2008

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | March 3rd, 2008 | Letter 3 of 3

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

life

Dad Suspects Guilty Secret Is Causing Mom's Instability

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | March 2nd, 2008 | Letter 1 of 4

DEAR ABBY: I have had sole custody of my three children from a previous marriage for the past 10 years. Their mother, "Nadine," has mental health issues that prevent her from being a competent parent. She has let them down countless times and has caused emotional scars. As a result, the children have limited contact with Nadine, even though she lives nearby.

Our oldest daughter, "Holly," who is now 22, has chosen not to speak to her mom for more than a year. I believe part of Nadine's mental troubles stem from a secret she has been keeping. I have suspected for years that Holly is not my biological daughter. And if she's not, I know the identity of her biological father.

Do I tell Holly? Do I get a paternity test to find out for sure? My concern is for Holly. Does she have the right to know -- especially for understanding her genetic and medical history? I am not worried about our relationship. I love her, and we have a strong father/daughter bond that will not be affected by DNA. -- HOLLY'S DAD, IRMO, S.C.

DEAR DAD: For the reason you have stated, the test should be done. For one thing, Holly may turn out to be your daughter after all, and your suspicions would be put to rest. For another, if there are medical issues that run in her biological father's family, she should absolutely know what they are.

life

Dear Abby for March 02, 2008

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | March 2nd, 2008 | Letter 2 of 4

DEAR ABBY: I'm being married in October to "Olivia," the woman I am meant to be with. After the wedding, we both want to start a family. I love Olivia and am thrilled with the idea of having children. I worry a lot, though, about what kind of world we will be bringing a child into. I worry about terrorism and global warming. I don't want my child to be scared for his/her safety and uncertain about the future. Can you advise me, Abby? -- REALIST IN BROWNS MILLS, N.J.

DEAR REALIST: There are few thinking people these days who don't share the same concerns that you do. The truth is, having children is an act of faith -- an optimistic "investment" in the future. No one has any guarantees that he or she can bring a child into a world free of problems. However, if we live prudently and put forth our best efforts to resolve the problems we face today, the chances are better that the next generation will have fewer of them to cope with.

life

Dear Abby for March 02, 2008

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | March 2nd, 2008 | Letter 3 of 4

DEAR ABBY: Could you please share suggestions on how to offer support to someone who is grieving?

Well-meaning friends have used my loss as an opportunity to relive their past losses with grisly and sad details. One friend described in detail her husband's final days. I was so emotionally fragile, I could not argue or defend myself.

Perhaps these people are trying to relate, but it's torture. It's thoughtless and selfish. I have a feeling I'm not the only person who has suffered through this ignorance. -- GRIEVING ALONE IN FLORIDA

DEAR GRIEVING ALONE: Please accept my deepest sympathy for the loss of your loved one.

Readers, the above letter conveys an important message. What the writer's "well-meaning friends" did happens all too often. It is enough to simply convey one's condolences when someone you know has experienced a death in the family. If the person wants to talk, he or she will let you know by starting a conversation. If not, to begin discussing the details of your own loss is, to say the least, insensitive, intrusive and not helpful.

life

Dear Abby for March 02, 2008

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | March 2nd, 2008 | Letter 4 of 4

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

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