DEAR ABBY: I'm 16 and in high school. I would say I have a lot of friends, but very few do I consider real friends. You see, my "friends" like to tease me and call me fat.

Before this all started, I was fine with my appearance and thought I was a normal size. Now I look in the mirror and I'm disgusted with myself. I find myself not eating as much as I used to and thinking negative thoughts. Every time I try to tell them to stop, they make fun of me more.

My mom tells me to make new friends, but I have known them for so long and it's too hard to make new friends. Please tell me what to do. -- FEELING FAT IN CALI

DEAR FEELING FAT: The people you describe do not sound like "friends" to me. Friends don't ridicule each other, particularly when they are told it is hurtful.

Although the idea of making new friends may seem daunting, your mother is on the right track. It's time to involve yourself in activities that do not involve the kids you have been hanging out with -- a church group, volunteering, sports, dance classes, even a part-time job. All of these will help you meet new people, and once you do, I'm sure you will find friends. Almost anything would be better than those who are putting you down under the guise of "humor."

DEAR ABBY: You ask your readers to share their pet peeves with you. Well, here's mine: I cannot overemphasize how annoying it is when people try to send a fax and enter the number of the phone line.

I am an assistant in a busy office. At least three times a week someone will try to send a fax and dial our main office number by mistake. I answer the phones and hear the high-pitched BEEP. Once wouldn't be that big a deal, but often the sender has walked away from his or her fax machine and it redials again and again. It is annoying and a waste of my time.

Please advise people to first double-check to make sure they have the correct fax number, and second, not to walk away from the machine until they're certain the fax is going through. This should be common sense, but I see less and less common sense these days. Thanks, Abby. -- FRUSTRATED IN COLORADO

DEAR FRUSTRATED: I'm printing your letter, but there is no guarantee it will resolve your problems. Of course it makes sense to check the number one is calling or faxing, but from what I have observed, people are trying so hard these days to race through their work assignments, that mistakes keep piling up to the point where efficiency suffers. Maybe it's time to simply slow down and quit multitasking.

DEAR ABBY: At a business lunch or dinner, if one member at the table bows his or her head to say grace silently, what is the proper thing for the others at the table to do? Join in, wait silently or ignore the behavior? -- CHRISTY IN DENISON, IOWA

DEAR CHRISTY: The polite thing to do would be to wait for the person to finish. You are under no obligation to join in if you prefer not to.

DEAR ABBY: At a business lunch or dinner, if one member at the table bows his or her head to say grace silently, what is the proper thing for the others at the table to do? Join in, wait silently or ignore the behavior? -- CHRISTY IN DENISON, IOWA

DEAR CHRISTY: The polite thing to do would be to wait for the person to finish. You are under no obligation to join in if you prefer not to.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 12-year-old freshman at an all-girls school. Prior to this I was in the public school system. Today I was thinking about my experiences in both systems of schools, which inspired me to write the following poem. You can print it if you like.

Perhaps it will strike a chord with educators and students. Maybe it won't. But I wanted to get my feelings out on this subject and help to stop unfair judgment. -- LEALIA XIONG, GUILFORD, CONN.

DEAR LEALIA: I'm pleased to share your poem and the important message it so succinctly conveys. You have tremendous insight for one so young, and talent as well.

DON'T JUDGE

Don't judge people you hardly know.

You don't know what their day has been like.

You don't know what their life has been like.

Don't judge.

Don't judge someone who seems

As if she's overreacting.

You don't know if she's lost someone

She loved dearly

Or if her parents are getting a divorce

Or fighting over nothing.

Don't judge.

Don't judge someone who's different.

He's probably one of the nicest people you'll

know.

Or the funniest.

Or the smartest.

Take the time to get to know people.

Walk with them.

Run with them.

Share their triumphs and their sorrows.

Maybe they don't dance through life

As you thought.

Don't judge.

DEAR ABBY: I am a stay-at-home mom of an active 3-year-old boy, with another on the way. Before my son, "Chad," was born, my husband and I took in a loving yellow Labrador, "Sparky" (now 8), who had been neglected.

While I love Sparky very much, he is just too much work for me because he is so needy. He often becomes nervous and "stuck" in certain rooms and must be physically coaxed into the next room. His anxiety causes him to bark uncontrollably at cars, people walking by, etc. He is absolutely out of control when someone comes to the door. He has damaged our home, wakes us up when we're sleeping, wants to go in and out all day, and is constantly underfoot. Our efforts to train Sparky have failed, and I'm simply out of patience.

The trouble is, my husband has no sympathy for the difficulty this causes me when I'm home during the day, and he refuses to discuss alternative options. I don't know what to do and have overwhelming feelings of guilt. I find myself actually looking forward to the day when Sparky dies so that I can be relieved of this burden. Please help. -- DOG TIRED, PALMYRA, N.Y.

DEAR DOG TIRED: The problems you described are not your dog's fault. Many rescue animals have "issues" not unlike Sparky's. You need to talk to your vet about this, and also a professional dog trainer. If that doesn't resolve your problem, then contact the rescue group that placed Sparky with you so they can find him another home.

DEAR ABBY: I am a stay-at-home mom of an active 3-year-old boy, with another on the way. Before my son, "Chad," was born, my husband and I took in a loving yellow Labrador, "Sparky" (now 8), who had been neglected.

While I love Sparky very much, he is just too much work for me because he is so needy. He often becomes nervous and "stuck" in certain rooms and must be physically coaxed into the next room. His anxiety causes him to bark uncontrollably at cars, people walking by, etc. He is absolutely out of control when someone comes to the door. He has damaged our home, wakes us up when we're sleeping, wants to go in and out all day, and is constantly underfoot. Our efforts to train Sparky have failed, and I'm simply out of patience.

The trouble is, my husband has no sympathy for the difficulty this causes me when I'm home during the day, and he refuses to discuss alternative options. I don't know what to do and have overwhelming feelings of guilt. I find myself actually looking forward to the day when Sparky dies so that I can be relieved of this burden. Please help. -- DOG TIRED, PALMYRA, N.Y.

DEAR DOG TIRED: The problems you described are not your dog's fault. Many rescue animals have "issues" not unlike Sparky's. You need to talk to your vet about this, and also a professional dog trainer. If that doesn't resolve your problem, then contact the rescue group that placed Sparky with you so they can find him another home.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married for 35 years. The first 30 were pretty much devoted to raising children.

Now that we are both retired and empty nesters, I realize just how focused our lives have been on family issues. While I have developed many interests, "Fred," has none besides solitary activities. He isn't interested in most of the things that I enjoy, but offers no alternatives. Consequently, I've learned to make social plans that do not include him.

I do spend a good deal of time at home with him, but I am feeling increasingly detached. I would like to have more of a life with Fred, but must I give up the relationships and activities that have provided a needed balance in my life in order to revive our marriage? -- MRS. COUCH POTATO

DEAR MRS. POTATO: And what's to guarantee that if you give up your friendships and activities that your marriage will be "revived"? Marriage is about compromise. Before this situation goes any further, you and Fred should talk to a counselor about the state of your union.

People who are anti-social may be extremely narrow in their range of interests, or they could be depressed. I'm advising you to find out now into which category your husband falls before you sever your social contacts.

DEAR ABBY: My 15-year-old daughter, "Amy," was recently dumped by text message, and I am extremely frustrated with how to address her tears and heartbreak. Text messaging and instant messaging seem to be the only ways that young people communicate these days. This young man took the coward's way out.

Amy and I have had several heated discussions about it, mostly ending with us agreeing to disagree. My perspective is, when two people are ready to end a relationship, they should face the other person and talk about the reasons why it isn't working. Hers is, "That's just the way we do things now." Any thoughts? -- KATHY IN SPIRIT LAKE, IOWA

DEAR KATHY: You are both right. Communication is a skill that people learn through practice. And I, too, am concerned that a generation of young people isn't learning to communicate face-to-face. It's almost as though there is a fear of intimacy, and the signals that people send through facial expression and gesture are being lost because of over-dependence on technology.

Although "that's the way we do things now" may be your daughter's perspective, my question to her would be, "Now that you know how terrible being dumped that way feels, would you do it to somebody else?"

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)