DEAR ABBY: The letter from "Hurt in Ohio" (Dec. 8), the 13-year-old girl who is being bullied, was deeply affecting. I have been a middle-school teacher for 10 years. I have seen what bullying can do to kids.

I'm proud that "Hurt" told her parents, but because that hasn't helped her, please tell her to find an adult at school whom she trusts and tell that adult what is happening. If she hasn't gotten a response within 24 hours, she should go to another adult, and another and another until someone listens.

And please, Abby, remind parents that ignoring the problem does not make it go away; it only makes it worse. Middle-school kids are especially vulnerable to bullying, and it must be stopped. -- MIDDLE-SCHOOL TEACHER IN INDIANA

DEAR MIDDLE-SCHOOL TEACHER: I advised "Hurt" to have her parents accompany her to discuss the situation with her counselor and the principal. However, it has been pointed out to me that being the victim of bullying sometimes happens to multiple generations in families in which the parents are extremely passive and tolerated it, and are unable to teach their children to be assertive.

Fortunately, more help is available for victims of bullying -- and my readers, in addition to sharing their personal experiences, generously offered resources to combat it. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: Please tell your readers that our federal government is concerned about bullying, because bullying increases school absenteeism and drop-out rates and can cause significant, long-lasting difficulties for victims.

As part of its anti-bullying campaign, the Health Resource Services Administration has an informative and user-friendly Web site: www.stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov. This site has sections for parents, school professionals and students.

Bullying is a national problem. We must work together to end this preventable injury. -- PEDIATRIC CHAPLAIN, ARLINGTON, TEXAS

DEAR ABBY: Allow me to suggest to "Hurt in Ohio," or anyone who is concerned about bullying in our schools, a Web site called www.safeschools.com. -- ANN IN FARMINGTON, N.M.

DEAR ABBY: "Hurt," who wrote about being bullied, as well as her parents, should explore the materials on the Southern Poverty Law Center's Tolerance Web site, www.tolerance.org, and direct the staff at her school there as well. A search on "bullying booklet" will provide hundreds of references for use. The materials are free to educators and are in use in thousands of schools. Every school and every person being bullied would benefit from SPLC's products. After all, bullying and ostracism have figured in school shootings and in many student suicides.

There is also excellent anti-bias material that has been used with great success in schools with problems similar to the recent one in Jena, La., heading off sad incidents like theirs. -- S.T.M., VERO BEACH, FLA.

DEAR ABBY: "Hurt in Ohio" mentioned that her friends won't stand up for her because they "like" the jocks who are tormenting her. Well, someone should inform her that those kids are not her "friends." On the contrary, they are enablers. Bullies love an audience, and silence indicates approval.

The answer is to teach students that not only schools, but they themselves should have zero tolerance for abusers. -- HENRY IN LITHICUM, MD.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I have a close friend, "Ethel," about whom I'm very worried. She sees a therapist, "Amy," once a week for depression and suicidal thoughts, and while I think it's a wonderful idea, I'm concerned because she has become "friends" with her therapist.

This has gone as far as gift-giving, attending the therapist's wedding, etc. I always thought it was a breach of professional boundaries for a therapist to become friends with his or her patient.

I am the one who gets the 4 a.m. phone calls when Ethel is feeling like the world is ending for her. She says my son and I are the only reason she doesn't do something to herself. When I ask Ethel why she doesn't discuss this with Amy, or call her at 4 a.m., Ethel says she doesn't want to burden her with her problems. She also refers to her appointments as "visiting" with Amy and says that they have lovely talks about Amy's family, etc.

I'm a single mother with a full-time job, taking classes at the university for my MBA. I try to make as much time as I can for Ethel, but I'm worn out and worried about those 4 a.m. phone calls. After seeing this therapist for five years, wouldn't you think Ethel would at least be a little bit better? If anything, I think she's worse.

I have suggested that Ethel find another therapist, but all she says is that Amy is her friend. What else can I do? -- SARA IN SALEM, ORE.

DEAR SARA: It's apparent that Amy is no longer acting in the role of therapist. And because she has become a friend, Ethel doesn't want to impose upon her with her problems.

The next time Ethel calls you at 4 a.m., tell her that she is calling the wrong person. The things she is telling you are the very things that her therapist needs to know about in order to help her. If Ethel refuses, then tell her that what she needs is a therapist with a fresh approach. If Amy is truly her friend, Amy will understand that and give her a referral while maintaining their personal relationship.

DEAR ABBY: My 4-year-old grandson, "Teddy," is the apple of my eye.

I recently learned that my son-in-law has been taking Teddy hunting for deer and sees no harm in it. At his age, my grandson should be at a petting zoo admiring God's creatures instead of viewing the killing of them.

I have a policy of not interfering with my children in their marriages or how they raise their children. However, if needed, I am always available for advice if asked. Although I have shared my opinion that Teddy is too young, it has fallen on deaf ears.

At age 4, my grandson is too immature to understand the killing. I don't believe that this exposure is good for his psychological development at his tender age. How do I approach my son-in-law about this, and at what age do you think it is appropriate to allow the boy to go hunting? -- CONCERNED GRANDPA IN GREENVILLE, S.C.

DEAR GRANDPA: It would be interesting to know how your daughter feels about her son going hunting with his dad. While I am not a fan of killing for sport, many people are avid hunters who consume the birds and animals they shoot.

While going on those expeditions at age 4 seems quite young, if your grandson isn't traumatized by the sight of the blood-and-gutting and enjoys the "bonding sessions" with his dad, and his mother has no objection, then I guess he'd old enough to go along -- providing he doesn't get in the way and endanger himself.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 14-year-old girl and an only child. My parents, "Ellie" and "Miles," are divorced. My dad, a recovering alcoholic, relapsed last year.

Abby, I am desperate. When Miles drinks even the slightest amount, he smashes plates and mirrors, pounds his fists into doors and grabs me roughly. I'm deeply afraid that when he is very intoxicated he may one day seriously injure me. Miles is also severely depressed, so I'm constantly on "suicide watch."

Even though I attend a local Alateen chapter and am in therapy, my schoolwork is suffering, my relationships are floundering, and I'm depressed, isolated and overwhelmed. Part of me doesn't want to see my father anymore, but the other part feels extremely guilty and like I should just deal with everything on my own. Which part is right? -- CONFLICTED IN WISCONSIN

DEAR CONFLICTED: The part that's telling you to avoid your father until you're sure he's back on the wagon and no longer intimidating or violent. That little voice you're hearing is your instinct for survival.

Also, you should not be on "suicide watch." At 14, you do not have the tools to save your father from his self-destructive impulses. Under no circumstances should you be alone with him until he's dry again.

After the treatment you have experienced and the stress to which you have been subjected, it is not unusual to feel depressed, isolated and overwhelmed. That's why it is so important that you continue talking frankly with your therapist and Alateen group, where other members have had similar experiences and can relate.

Readers, for those of you who are unfamiliar with Al-Anon/Alateen, which have been mentioned before in my column, this organization offers an informative booklet online that can be downloaded, and also in softcover, free of charge. The title is "Al-Anon Faces Alcoholism 2008." To view it online (in English, Spanish or French), log on to www.Al-AnonFamilyGroups.net. To order a printed copy, e-mail wso@al-anon.org or write: Al-Anon Family Groups Inc., Attn: AFA 2008, 1600 Corporate Landing Parkway, Virginia Beach, VA 23454-5617.

DEAR ABBY: It has happened again! Every year I make my list of New Year's resolutions, and within two weeks I have broken my vow. My downfall is bingeing on sweets, so this year I resolved to swear off chocolate.

Last night I was feeling tired and depressed, and I "found" a large chocolate bar with almonds I had stashed at the back of one of the kitchen cupboards and ate the whole thing. I'm disgusted with myself.

Every year you print your list of New Year's resolutions. But now many people actually stick to them, and if so, now do they do it? Have you any tips? -- CHOCOHOLIC IN NORFOLK, VA.

DEAR CHOCOHOLIC: Please stop beating up on yourself. You're not the only person who has broken a New Year's resolution. The majority of people do it sooner or later.

I do have some suggestions for establishing healthier habit patterns, and I'm pleased to share them with you:

(1) Decide what you want to achieve, but be realistic in setting your goals.

(2) Get support from friends and family.

(3) If you're trying to eliminate a bad habit, then make a plan and substitute a good habit in its place.

(4) Understand that we can learn more from our mistakes than our successes. If you slip up, don't give up. Forgive yourself and then rededicate yourself.

(5) When you do well, don't take it for granted. Look in a mirror and praise yourself out loud. Affirmations provide strong reinforcement.

And last, but not least, remember that you're not a bad person for backsliding on a New Year's resolution. If people were perfect, there would be no need for a Dear Abby.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)