DEAR ABBY: I am a 23-year-old single mother of a 1-year-old son. My boyfriend wants to change my life. He wants me to delete all my friends and family from my cell phone and says I can see my family only once a month. (I am very family-oriented.) My boyfriend thinks that because I go and see my parents and sisters a lot that I don't "put him first."
I don't know what to do, because my son comes first. I understand the concept that once you find your true love, you move in with him and you're supposed to be happy. But he's never happy. He always finds something to argue about.
I work from 5 a.m. to 3 p.m., come home, take care of my son, clean the house, cook dinner and clean up afterward. I am at my wits' end trying to do everything and be a good mother and girlfriend. He loves my son, but he never offers to help me with bills or anything. He never buys me anything, only stuff for himself or my son.
I'm so confused right now, I don't know what to think. Please give me some advice. -- UNCERTAIN IN OHIO
DEAR UNCERTAIN: Gladly. Do NOT allow your boyfriend to limit your telephone contact or visits with friends and family. This is a classic sign of an abuser, and so is constantly picking arguments. You appear to be doing everything in this relationship -- cooking, cleaning, paying the bills. What exactly is he contributing?
A healthy relationship is a partnership in which both members pull their own weight. Unless your boyfriend is prepared to make some serious changes, you should move back with your family.