DEAR ABBY: May I please respond to the letter you printed on Oct. 29 from the seventh-grader whose stepmother refuses to wear a seat belt? I, too, was careless about using my belt when shoulder-strap seat belts were first available.

At the time, I worked for an insurance company, and one of the claims adjusters pointed out that when a car is going 55 miles per hour, the passengers are also going 55 miles per hour, and if "something" should suddenly stop the car, you are STILL going 55 miles per hour until the point of impact. Needless to say, I never failed to wear my seat belt after that. -- LORI IN ARNOLD, CALIF.

DEAR LORI: Thank you for the reminder. I hope the letters I am printing today will be a wake-up call to the careless and the stubborn. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: As a retired chief deputy coroner for Madison County, Indiana, it was my duty to investigate automobile fatalities. The No. 1 contributing cause of automobile deaths was and still is the deadly head-on collision. When two cars traveling 45 miles an hour are involved in a head-on collision, their total speed at impact is equal to 90 miles per hour. The victim is either thrown through the windshield or free of the car and killed instantly when the automobile crushes him.

Head-on collisions happen without warning: Another car crosses the median or center line, a tire blows out, someone was driving under the influence of alcohol or drugs.

The reason for buckling a seat belt is to prevent making contact with the windshield and to keep the passenger inside the vehicle. When this is done, your chances of survival are far greater if you're involved in a head-on auto accident. -- DONALD G. McGRANAHAN, VERO BEACH, FLA.

DEAR ABBY: I didn't buckle up either, until about 14 years ago. It took being in a serious car accident to convince me to always buckle up.

My injuries were numerous, including 90 stitches in my face. I have the scars as a daily reminder. To this day, I still have eye problems because my eyeball was pushed back upon impact. I had a fractured skull and a closed head injury, but fortunately, no permanent damage there. But I spent three weeks flat on my back.

How humbling it was to be carried to the tub to be bathed, and to be slid off the sofa and onto a bucket to go to the bathroom. I was not able to work for three months.

I admire that seventh-grader who wrote about his concern for his stepmother. As a stepmom myself, I would happily and cheerfully comply with a request to buckle my seat belt and count my blessings. -- LEARNED MY LESSON IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR ABBY: My accident happened when cars were built like Sherman tanks, and seat belts were not required by law. I was seated next to my husband, who was driving.

We were hit head-on by a drunk driver. I broke the windshield with my face, and I was stuck in it by a shard of glass up under my chin. Both my legs and hips were broken in numerous places from the impact and the seat being thrown forward, and I have required numerous surgeries since. If you think my experience will serve as a warning to others, please print it. -- MARJORIE H.

DEAR MARJORIE H.: Here's your letter. Now let's cross our fingers.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)

DEAR ABBY: I am one of your faithful readers and have personally related to some of the problems that appear in your column. I have been particularly moved by letters in which people share their personal experiences regarding acts of kindness.

As a foster child, I was lucky to have been placed in a secure and loving home. I try each and every day to pass on the love that I have received (from both my biological family and my extended one) to the people I meet. It can be a gesture as simple as helping to carry someone's groceries to the car, or offering a ride to a mother with small children whose car has broken down or a parent pushing a stroller in the rain.

I hope I will be able to teach this trait to my children. I would like them to help others because it is the right thing to do, not because there is a benefit to be reaped.

So please, fellow readers, pay it forward. Help others not only because it feels good, but also teaches our kids that being a good person is its own reward. -- ANDI IN ATLANTA

DEAR ANDI: Thank you for an "upper" of a letter. I am certain that you will pass along to your children the lesson of selfless giving because children learn by example. And lucky they are to have a parent like you.

DEAR ABBY: When is it OK to correct the mispronunciation of a word? I need to, but I'm not sure how to go about it.

My husband, "Rob," is an intelligent and educated man, but he has no idea how to pronounce some words that he uses on a daily basis. Most of these words pertain to Rob's hobby, which is salt-water aquariums, and I'm afraid his credibility is taking a beating because of it. He talks about his tank a lot. Rob knows what he's talking about, but he doesn't know how to say it. Should I say something to him? -- TREADING WATER IN HAWAII

DEAR TREADING: It is no more "snobbish" to say to one's mate, "Honey, I love you, but you're mispronouncing that word," than to tell him that his zipper is open. It shows that you care. When you mention it, do it in private, and be sure to have a dictionary close by. After that, what he chooses to do about it is his choice.

DEAR ABBY: I was married in November, and one of my co-workers, "Brooke," attended the ceremony. Her gift to me was a vase. When we opened the box, my husband and I discovered that the vase was engraved with Brooke's and her husband's names and their wedding date. Tucked inside the vase was a card from the couple who had given it to them for their wedding.

How should I handle this? Should I return the vase to her, or ignore it and give it to Goodwill? -- JENNIFER IN PORT ORCHARD, WASH.

DEAR JENNIFER: Neither. Remove the card, re-wrap the gift, and give it to Brooke on her next anniversary.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR READERS: The new year has arrived, and with it our chance for a new beginning. This is the day we discard destructive old habits for healthy new ones. With that in mind, I am sharing Dear Abby's often-requested list of New Year's resolutions -- which were adapted by my mother, Pauline Phillips, from the original credo of Al-Anon.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will live through this day only. I will not brood about yesterday or obsess about tomorrow. I will not set far-reaching goals or try to overcome all of my problems at once.

I know that I can do something for 24 hours that would overwhelm me if I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will be happy. I will not dwell on thoughts that depress me. If my mind fills with clouds, I will chase them away and fill it with sunshine.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will accept what is. I will face reality. I will correct those things I can correct and accept those I cannot.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will improve my mind. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration. I will not be a mental loafer.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will make a conscious effort to be agreeable. I will be kind and courteous to those who cross my path, and I'll not speak ill of others. I will improve my appearance, speak softly, and not interrupt when someone else is talking.

Just for today, I will refrain from improving anybody but myself.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will do something positive to improve my health. If I'm a smoker, I'll quit. If I am overweight, I will eat healthfully -- if only just for today. And not only that, I will get off the couch and take a brisk walk, even if it's only around the block.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will gather the courage to do what is right and take responsibility for my own actions.

And now, Dear Readers, I would like to share an item that was sent to me by I.J. Bhatia, a reader who lives in New Delhi, India:

DEAR ABBY: This year, no resolutions, only some guidelines. The Holy Vedas say: "Man has subjected himself to thousands of self-inflicted bondages. Wisdom comes to a man who lives according to the true eternal laws of nature."

The following prayer of Saint Francis contains a powerful message:

"Lord, make me an instrument of your peace;

"Where there is hatred, let me sow love;

"Where there is injury, pardon;

"Where there is doubt, faith;

"Where there is despair, hope;

"Where there is darkness, light;

"Where there is sadness, joy;

"O Divine Master, grant that I may not as much seek to be consoled as to console;

"To be loved as to love.

"For it is in giving that we are pardoned;

"It is in dying that we are born to eternal life."

And so, Dear Readers, may this New Year bring with it peace and joy. -- LOVE, ABBY

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)