DEAR ABBY: I have lived next door to the "Smiths" for 18 years. They're nice people. When problems have arisen, they have helped me out, and I have done the same for them. We're good neighbors and friends.

I have known the Smiths' children their whole lives. Their daughter is now 17. Their son was born a year later.

My question: Is it normal for a 16-year-old boy to walk around the house naked, in plain view of family members? No one seems to notice or care. There are no looks or comments.

In the morning he gets up around 6:45. He walks into the kitchen and fixes a bowl of cereal. Then he stands at the counter, watching the morning sports shows while eating his breakfast in the nude. There is absolutely no evidence of arousal of any kind. When the bathroom becomes available, he goes in for a shower.

I have never seen any of the other family members naked. This boy has no compunctions about being seen by his father, mother, sister or next-door neighbor. He's been nude in my presence dozens of times. I know it's common for little boys to run around without clothes on sometimes, but, Abby, he's not a little boy anymore. -- CLOTHES-MINDED IN WISCONSIN

DEAR CLOTHES-MINDED: Standards regarding nudity vary from family to family, and obviously the Smiths are casual and open-minded on the subject. It's possible that you have been their neighbor so long that the young man considers you part of the family.

Because he has matured sufficiently that his nudity now makes you uncomfortable, you should hang curtains on your windows that face the Smiths' kitchen -- and before dropping over there, call to ask whether he's presentable. If he's not, then don't go over.

DEAR ABBY: My mother has been a single parent for the last seven years. She doesn't have any really close friends -- there are two women she goes out with occasionally, but all she does is complain about them. She seems to have forgotten what makes her happy and who she is.

I may be biased, but I think Mom is an amazing person. I'm in college now, but whenever I'm home I always try to spend lots of time with her and make her happy.

How can my mother make new friends or start a new relationship? How can she figure out what she likes and be a happier person? -- WANTS TO HELP MOM IN PHILLY

DEAR WANTS TO HELP MOM: You are a loving and caring daughter, but you can't "make her happy." Only she can do that.

It is possible that losing your father (through death or divorce) has caused your mother to withdraw and go into a depression. Most depression is treatable if the person is willing to discuss the problem with a mental health professional. However, this is a step that you cannot make for her.

Your mother needs to look beyond herself, volunteer some of her free time to the community, and allow herself less time to wallow in her discontent. In that way she will meet new friends and perhaps find a new relationship. But none of this can happen until she herself decides to reach out.

CONFIDENTIAL TO MY READERS: If you are partying tonight to celebrate the arrival of the new year, please don't drink and drive. Make sure you have a designated driver.

I wish you all a very happy, healthy and prosperous 2008! -- LOVE, ABBY

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: It seems I will never meet my "Mr. Right." Every person I'm attracted to is either in a relationship or doesn't like me.

My questions are: (A) When is it OK to just "settle"? and (B) Do you have to be attracted to your Mr. Right, and/or can you take the risk that the "supposed" sparkle/love will come in time? -- TIRED OF DATING, LANDOVER, MD.

DEAR TIRED OF DATING: My answer to question A is it depends upon what you mean by "settle." If you have to ask yourself if you are settling, then you probably are -- and I don't recommend it.

As to question B, "love" and "sparkle" are not the same thing. Unless you marry someone you truly LIKE, your marriage probably won't make it to the finish line. Marriage to the wrong person is like having a cellmate, not a partner.

DEAR ABBY: Our sister, "Dolly," is a control freak. She has been like this her whole life. Her husband died years ago, and the last thing he said to us was that he was better off dead than living the life he was living with her.

Dolly is now involved with a new man. They are living together, and she's doing the same thing to him that she did with her husband. We're not sure if we should warn him about her or leave it alone. They are planning to be married next summer.

I think he is having second thoughts, but is waiting to see if she changes. We can tell he's unhappy. Should we warn him or not? -- CRYSTAL IN CLEVELAND

DEAR CRYSTAL: Dolly's live-in is an adult and capable of making his own choices, so it should not be necessary to announce to him that his fiancee is a control freak. If he's unhappy now -- as you say he is -- his plans could change drastically by next summer. Keep your fingers crossed and your mouths shut.

DEAR ABBY: Some new neighbors moved into our beautiful neighborhood recently. This couple, who seem very nice, have gotten an adorable puppy I'll call "Taffy."

Taffy is now about 6 months old. They leave her in front of their house, completely alone, for most of the day and all night. From what we can see, that poor dog is never allowed inside. Taffy craves affection, and we all stop to pet her whenever we go by the house, just to allay some of her loneliness and boredom.

How should we deal with this painful situation? Do we dare say anything to the owners -- which will obviously cause "neighbor difficulties"? Please advise. -- SALLY IN SAN DIEGO

DEAR SALLY: Your neighbors may be nice people, but they have no clue about being responsible pet owners. If you or your neighbors approach them about the way they are neglecting their pet, they will become defensive, as if you had criticized the way they were raising their child. Therefore, it would be better for all concerned -- and that includes Taffy -- to notify the SPCA or your nearest animal shelter because the situation you have described is animal neglect.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I was having lunch in a restaurant recently. Seated next to us was a family who had an assistance dog for their teenage son. I was appalled when someone from another table approached the dog, began talking baby talk to it (while ignoring the people!) and dropped a scrap of meat on the floor in front of the dog's nose.

The dog ignored the "treat," and the mother calmly asked the person to please stop distracting their assistance dog while it was working. I was dazzled by her politeness in the face of such rudeness and thoughtlessness.

Abby, people need to know how to behave around assistance dogs so they don't endanger the person with a disability or the dog:

(1) Always speak to the person first. Do not make distracting noises to the dog.

(2) Always ask before you pet. Do not touch the service dog without first asking for and receiving permission. Petting should be minimal and cease as soon as the person gives the dog a command.

(3) Never feed or offer food to a working dog. It distracts him and lures him away from his important job as an assistance dog.

(4) Do not let your dog initiate contact with a working dog while it's on duty.

(5) Do not ask personal questions about the person's disability or otherwise intrude on his/her privacy.

The Americans With Disabilities Act (ADA) ensures people with assistance dogs have access to public places and businesses. Please welcome them into your establishment. -- KARYL CARMIGNANI, CANINE COMPANIONS FOR INDEPENDENCE

DEAR KARYL: It's amazing how many animal lovers do not grasp the fact that when they see an assistance dog out in public that the animal is WORKING. Although wanting to reach out and touch it is natural, it is no more correct than it would be to pet a dog that works in law enforcement. Thank you for your informative letter. I hope readers will learn from it because many of your comments apply to animals in general.

DEAR ABBY: I have a hereditary trait for low vision that is not correctible with glasses. The fact that I cannot see well is not obvious to most people. All my life people have been judgmental and become offended and stay mad forever when I don't recognize them from across the room or street, or remember them after I haven't seen them for a while.

As a professional, I have tried many exercises in recognizing people who don't have an outstanding physical trait to remember them by. Also (for example), women change their hairstyle or color often, and I can't discern facial features very well.

I just want to remind people that some of us have medical problems you don't know about, and we are not unfriendly or rude or have bad manners. Please give people the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes there are things about someone you don't know. Please stop being so judgmental and count your blessings. -- LEGALLY BLIND IN AMERICA

DEAR L.B.: You have less a vision problem than you have a communication problem. Remaining silent about your disability is like trying to smuggle dawn past a rooster. People already know something is wrong. They think it's your personality. The sooner you set them straight and let them know it's your vision, the sooner your problem will resolve itself.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)