DEAR ABBY: For many people, home is a place where they feel safe and secure. But what happens when "home" becomes a place you need to escape from because of a fire? If you don't have an immediate answer to that question, you are not alone. Many individuals do not have a plan, or practice what to do in the event of a fire. But these life-saving steps are critical.

Eight out of every 10 fire deaths in the United States occur in homes. Each year, between 2,500 and 3,000 people are killed in home fires, while an estimated 12,000 to 13,000 suffer injuries.

All of us must share in the responsibility of protecting ourselves, our homes and our communities from fire. Ideally, this means preventing fires from happening in the first place, but it also means being prepared to escape should a fire occur. Planning and practicing escape from a fire makes it more likely that people will survive one.

All families should also make sure they have working smoke alarms. In order to successfully escape a fire, it is vital to be alerted to one as early as possible. Smoke alarms should be on every level of your home, inside each sleeping room and outside each sleeping area. They should be tested once a month and should never be disabled or have their batteries removed.

I hope that everyone reading this will take the time during Fire Prevention Week (Oct. 7-13) to review fire safety and practice a home fire escape plan. Resources for developing a plan and safety tips are available at � HYPERLINK "http://www.firepreventionweek.org" ��www.firepreventionweek.org�. -- JAMES M. SHANNON, PRESIDENT, NATIONAL FIRE PROTECTION ASSOCIATION

DEAR JAMES: There's an old saying, "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure." So thank you for offering me the opportunity to remind everyone about the importance of being prepared in advance for an emergency evacuation in case of fire -- or some other natural disaster.

Readers, this year the National Fire Protection Association is focusing its annual public awareness campaign on home fire escape planning. The theme: Practice Your Escape Plan.

Having an escape plan in place is essential to being prepared to act quickly in case of emergency. To develop a home fire escape plan, identify two ways out of each room and designate a meeting place outside. Make sure the plan addresses any specific needs of household members. Also, consider that some people may not awaken to the sound of the smoke alarms and may require help to wake up.

Having an escape plan that has been practiced in advance allows more time to get out if a fire occurs. And should a fire strike, those precious moments can mean the difference between life and death.

DEAR ABBY: Can you please settle a disagreement? I am a single guy who occasionally does some traveling with four friends. (Two couples.) Some think the hotel room should be split per person, and some think per bed. Which do you think is more fair? -- TRAVELING MAN

DEAR TRAVELING MAN: The room should be paid for by dividing the bill equally among the number of heads on the pillows. In your case, that would be a five-way split if all of you are sharing a room, or a three-way split if you are sharing a room with one couple.

DEAR ABBY: When filling out a job application, what would you write as the "Reason for Leaving" if you were fired? -- SANDRA IN STONE MOUNTAIN, GA.

DEAR SANDRA: You should write "personal reasons" on the application. During your interview if you are asked about it, under no circumstances should you lie or say anything bad about your former employer. Sometimes employment doesn't work out for the simple reason that there was a "personality conflict."

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I have read your column for years but can't recall this topic ever being mentioned. I'm surprised, as it must occur frequently in today's society.

I am a 64-year-old male who was married to a woman I'll call "Myrtle" at age 19 in 1962. We raised our four children and divorced after 25 years of marriage. The divorce was brutal and vicious. Afterward, I moved on with my life. I remarried in 1991; Myrtle never remarried.

Well, Myrtle died. The children invited me and my wife, "Peggy," to the funeral. To my surprise, Peggy said we should go and "be there for the kids." However, I told my children I would not feel comfortable being there and would send flowers instead. I know my children were disappointed and wanted Peggy and me there, as they were kind of persistent. I did have second thoughts about it and guilt set in, but I stayed with my decision.

Now that it's all over, I have this feeling that maybe I made a mistake and appeared to be selfish, uncaring or whatever. Do you think I should send them a card or letter asking forgiveness, or just leave it alone, as apparently they have accepted it? -- SECOND THOUGHTS IN WASHINGTON

DEAR SECOND THOUGHTS: People attend funerals for two reasons: to pay respects to the deceased, and to offer comfort and support to the grieving survivors. For the latter reason you should have put aside your anger and bitterness and attended Myrtle's funeral.

By all means write your children and apologize for not being there for them when they asked you to be. Then hope they will be more forgiving than you have been.

DEAR ABBY: I have had a friend for about a year and a half I'll call "April." Within three months of the time April and I met, she asked to borrow money from me. I didn't have it, so I got a payday loan for her. I felt I could trust her to repay me -- and she did.

Some weeks later, April was again in a desperate situation, so I did it again -- although I did not give her as much as she asked for. She didn't appear to believe me when I said that's all they'd give me.

April is also borrowing money from these payday loan places. Her husband doesn't know about it or their financial situation. She's behind in all their bills and is receiving disconnect and overdraft notices left and right. She also continues to ask me for money.

I have bills and am behind in some of them myself. This situation is making me very uncomfortable. I know if I asked April for money, she would not do for me what I have done for her. I have tried to refuse her, but she won't take no for an answer. She always has a reason why I should that trumps my excuse.

I hate to lose the friendship. When money isn't mentioned, April and I have the best time. What should I do? My therapist moved to Oregon. Please help me! -- THE GIRL WHO CAN'T SAY NO IN OHIO

DEAR GIRL WHO CAN'T SAY NO: What you have described isn't a friendship. You are being milked for the cash cow that you have allowed yourself to become.

April may be entertaining "when money isn't mentioned," but how often is that? For your own mental and financial health, you must draw the line. And if April refuses to respect it -- as I am sure she will -- then you will have to end the relationship. Period!

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to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)

DEAR ABBY: I am close friends with a couple I'll call "Angie" and "Gil." I met them at the same time and have always been unattached while they are a married couple. This didn't matter, and we hit it off right away.

The problem is, when Angie gets mad at Gil for whatever reason, she wants me to be mad, too. She thinks I should take sides, and this makes me uncomfortable because they are both my friends. Gil has never asked me to take sides with him.

Angie has gone so far as to request that I ignore any attempts by Gil to contact me if they are fighting. (He never does.) I feel bad for him and like I am betraying a friend by agreeing to do as she asks. I don't know how to explain to her that as they are both my friends, I would rather be left out of their arguments and not have to choose sides.

Am I wrong to be friends with a couple? Is this inviting trouble because I am single? -- EXASPERATED IN IOWA

DEAR EXASPERATED: There is nothing wrong with a single person being friendly with a married couple. It is only "inviting trouble" when one of them is as immature and controlling as Angie appears to be.

My advice is to put Angie on notice that you will not accept being drawn into their arguments -- and if she cannot respect the fact that you prefer to remain neutral, you will have to distance yourself from both of them.

DEAR ABBY: I work for an organization that allows nepotism. Many husband/wife/child combinations are employed here.

My supervisor is married to one of our deputy directors, and their son is also employed here. The son works in my department and is supervised by his dad. This person sleeps in his cubby, comes in late and leaves early. He is incompetent at answering the phone and has committed serious errors in working with clients. He has also told co-workers that he can't be fired because of who his mother and father are.

What's the best way to handle working within this situation? Does this violate any laws? -- JUST WONDERING IN WACO, TEXAS

DEAR JUST WONDERING: It violates the laws of common business sense. Many companies do not allow relatives of employees to be hired for the very reasons you have described. Because this young man's shortcomings are affecting clients, it is only a matter of time until it's reflected in the bottom line.

Since you are unhappy -- and with good reason -- look for other employment. The "ship" you're on now does not appear to be seaworthy.

DEAR ABBY: Please help settle an argument between my husband and me. We have been married for 24 years. When he drives and I am with him, he refuses to move the sun visor on his side to keep the sun out of my eyes. He says the visor will block his vision and he won't use it -- even for himself.

Why would the car manufacturer put in visors that could block the driver's vision? I think his argument is wrong.

I end up holding up a magazine or my hand to block the sun since sunglasses are not enough. My arm gets tired after a few minutes. I feel he is rude not to do this for me. What do you think? -- MAD IN MARYLAND

DEAR MAD: I think you should wear a hat with a wide brim and lots of sunscreen. A woman has to take care of herself.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)