DEAR ABBY: I am 18, a freshman in college, and I'm having the hardest time making friends. I have always been a quiet person, but meeting people around here has been like pulling teeth. I have received advice from many people telling me I should be more open to people, and I should talk more and be active in groups and organizations. Although I have followed this advice, no one seems to take an interest in me.

DEAR LONELY: Cheer up. If misery loves company, you have plenty of it. Loneliness is probably the No. 1 problem in my mail. Everybody wants to be well-liked. It's essential to a person's self-esteem to know that others think he or she is worth having as a friend. But making friends doesn't always come naturally. For many, it's a learned skill.

What should I do? I have been beating myself up about this. Now I'm starting to get depressed. -- LONELY IN NEW ORLEANS

While joining groups and organizations is an excellent way to meet others, before you do, it's important to take a good look at yourself. Ask yourself why you find some other people immediately attractive. Obviously, because they appeal to you. Well, how do you appeal to them? The expression on your face can be your greatest asset -- or liability. Would you strike up a conversation with someone who is wearing a permanent-press frown? If that could be you, get rid of it.

If you walk down the street in any foreign country in the world, even though you may not understand a word people are saying, when you see a smile, you get the message. It says, "I'm friendly. I'm approachable."

My booklet "How to Be Popular" is filled with many tips on how to become socially adept. It can be ordered by sending a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus a check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to Dear Abby, Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. Shipping and handling are included in the price.

The keys to popularity with members of both sexes are: Be kind. Be gracious. Be honest, but be tactful. Be generous of spirit, and always grateful for the blessings that you have. Readers of all ages have told me how much this booklet has helped them and people they know.

DEAR ABBY: My son was married eight years ago in a ceremony attended by a small number of family and friends. The marriage lasted two years. He is being married again, and this time the ceremony will be larger.

Would it be acceptable for me to wear the same dress to his second wedding as I wore to his first? I love the dress and it still fits. It was very expensive and has been worn only once. What do you think? -- JUST WONDERING

DEAR JUST WONDERING: Your son's first marriage did not fail because of the dress you wore to the ceremony -- and the same will be true of this one. Because the dress fits and you love it, wear it and enjoy it. You have my blessing.

DEAR ABBY: I am writing to respond to "Grateful Mom" (July 13), the widow who, in her time of need, was invited by her son Neil and his partner to live with them despite having rejected Neil in the past because he is gay. I have a gay son, too, and I would not trade him for anyone. He is the most loving and caring son any parent could ever have. I consider myself very lucky.

When it was time for me to relocate, it was his partner who first approached me about moving across the state to be near them. My son helped me find a cute little house to buy. My two dogs and I are very happy.

I will not have grandchildren, but I do have granddogs and another wonderful son. I am blessed. -- ANOTHER GRATEFUL MOM IN FLORIDA

DEAR ANOTHER MOM: I am pleased that things are going so well for you. The responses to "Grateful Mom's" letter were heartwarming. They serve as a reminder that acceptance, love and recognition of the importance of family can triumph over intolerance and fear. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I was touched that "Grateful Mom" was able to reconcile with her son and forge a wonderful relationship with him. My oldest brother was gay, and my parents welcomed his life partner into our family. We all have open minds and hearts about individuality.

I was saddened to read that "Grateful's" other children denied their mother a place in their homes. I took care of my mom in her final years, and although it was difficult for me to watch her health deteriorate, I was honored to be able to spend her last moments with her. I cherish those memories. -- CATHY IN RENO, NEV.

DEAR ABBY: I am the father of three boys, one of whom is gay. "Grateful Mom" had forgotten the most basic of things -- that your child is a part of you, and we must love, support and participate in our children's lives. This is what's missing in our society today, and it is causing all kinds of issues for the next generation. I love all my sons, and I am proud of them. I hope "Grateful" continues to enjoy her son and continues to share the lessons she is learning. -- PROUD DAD IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR ABBY: My mom came out to me and my brother about five years ago. She had been with men her whole life and, while we were shocked, we understood we could react in one of two ways. We could either accept her and her girlfriend, "Daphne," or disown her and have to explain to our children why they couldn't see their "nana." We decided to accept my mother for who she is and welcome Daphne into the family.

It was one of the best choices my brother and I ever made. Daphne loves my kids and can't wait to see them (she lives in Australia) later this year. My kids call her "Nana Daph." She is the best thing that ever happened to my mom, and I'm thankful she's in our lives.

I'm happy that "Grateful Mom" learned to accept and appreciate her son and his partner exactly the way they are. -- JENNIFER IN INDIANAPOLIS

DEAR ABBY: Thank you for recommending P-FLAG (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) to your readers. It is an organization that provides understanding and support to both gays and their families. I have a lesbian daughter who has brought me much joy and pride. I went to P-FLAG when she first came out, and it was the wisest thing I ever did for the two of us. -- BENITA IN SAN DIEGO

DEAR ABBY: "Grateful" said her two daughters and one of her sons "married well." Sounds to me like Neil is the one who married well. Her letter made me cry. If only the world could be half as tolerant as Neil and his partner, Ron. Because of their good hearts and generous spirits, even that intolerant mother was able to change. How hopeful! -- BERKELEY, CALIF., READER

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: After a 10-year battle, I recently lost my husband to Alzheimer's disease. My darling was handsome, brilliant and athletic, a chemist and an avid golfer. Our family was confused and concerned when he began losing the ability to do simple tasks.

The progression of his illness was devastating physically, emotionally and financially. No one should have this disease, either as a person afflicted with it or as a caregiver who is helpless to intervene.

Alzheimer's disease is not the funny punch line of a joke that it has been made out to be. It's the seventh-leading cause of death in this country, yet it doesn't seem to get the attention that cancer, heart disease or even AIDS does. What can I do to ensure that Alzheimer's won't affect my children and grandchildren? -- ELIZABETH IN DALLAS

DEAR ELIZABETH: Please accept my deepest sympathy for your loss. Alzheimer's disease has been called "the long goodbye" with good reason. Your concerns are echoed by the families of the more than 5 million Americans currently living with Alzheimer's and the nearly 10 million people who are providing their care. If something isn't done about it now, an estimated 16 million people will have it by the year 2050.

I applaud your determination to get involved. Sept. 21 is World Alzheimer's Day, and I hope that you -- and others -- will join the Alzheimer's Association by becoming an Alzheimer's Champion, as I have. To learn more about the disease and how you can take steps to join the fight, visit � HYPERLINK "http://www.actionalz.org" ��www.actionalz.org�.

DEAR ABBY: I'm an active, 31-year-old woman. I exercise regularly, play tennis and walk to work instead of driving. As a result, I have developed an athletic physique. According to my doctor, my height and weight proportions are ideal for someone who exercises regularly, and my muscle/fat ratio is healthy.

My problem is my mother. She stands 5-foot-5 (the same height as me) and weighs all of 95 pounds. She raised me to accept myself the way I am and not to change my appearance just because others want me to.

In spite of this, she constantly belittles me about my appearance with comments such as, "Oh, you would look so much better if you'd lose 15 pounds," or, "Oh, maybe you should eat a little healthier -- you've put on weight." The mass in question is muscle, not fat. I had this checked by my doctor, who assured me that I have a healthy build. I have tried explaining to my mother that my build is the result of muscle as well as genetics, but she won't stop.

I have tried ignoring her comments, contradicting them with medical evidence, even saying that her comments negate the way she raised me, but she continues anyway. What more can I do to stop this? She's chipping away at my self-esteem. -- ATHLETIC IN NORTHERN CALIFORNIA

DEAR ATHLETIC: Perhaps the reason your mother is preoccupied with your weight is because she's obsessed about her own. At 5-foot-5 inches, she's seriously underweight. Could she have an eating disorder and be projecting her obsession on you?

Two things you can do to help yourself in this situation: The first is, put the subject of your weight strictly off limits with your mother. Warn her that if she raises it, she'll see far less of you than she has. Then, follow through.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)