DEAR ABBY: I am begging you to have a medical health professional address this problem.

We were at a music festival last night, and sitting near us in front of the amplifier was a young mother with an infant who appeared to be about 5 weeks old. She was there for five hours!

I voiced my concern to a woman with her who said, "You can't tell her anything." I then spoke to a security guard, asking him to suggest that she move to the rear, away from those killer sound systems. No luck.

I'm ashamed to say that I did not go up and tell her to get away and save her child's poor little ears. So, I am begging you to print something about destroying children's hearing. I know some adults are plain stupid in this matter, but that infant had no choice. -- EXASPERATED IN WILKES-BARRE, PA.

DEAR EXASPERATED: I took your letter to Dr. Allen Senne, director of audiology at the famous House Ear Clinic. This is what he had to say, and I hope parents will heed it:

"Any noise in excess of 85 decibels -- that's about as loud as a power lawn mower -- is damaging to the human ear. That's why OSHA (the Occupational Safety and Health Administration) guidelines prohibit workers from working in areas where they're exposed to noise greater than 85 decibels for an extended period of time.

"Children are at least as susceptible to the effects of noise exposure as adults. In fact, professionals in the field of audiology are now seeing an increase in the incidence of younger people demonstrating hearing loss due to noise exposure from listening to iPods, Walkmans and other in-ear receivers because the digital sound produced by these devices can be played at louder levels without distortion.

"A typical music concert is amplified 110 to 120 decibels, which is significantly beyond any damage risk criteria, and has the potential for causing irreversible hearing problems. THIS CAN BE THE RESULT OF A ONE-TIME EXPOSURE.

"In fact, I recently treated a boy from Texas who had lost his hearing in one ear because he wanted to be close to the music and stood directly in front of an amplifier at a rock concert. That was a one-time exposure, so draw your own conclusions."

DEAR ABBY: Less than a year after our marriage, my wife wants to exchange the engagement ring I bought her for a larger diamond. Should I be upset about this? -- UPSET IN ILLINOIS

DEAR UPSET: Your signature indicates that you are already upset about it. That said, your feelings are your feelings, and you are entitled to them. You are obviously the more sentimental partner in your marriage. Please try to put this in perspective. The real "jewel" isn't the diamond you put on her finger; it is you.

DEAR ABBY: I have been a widow for more than four years. An older man has started to court me. He has also been a widower for about four years. We both had long marriages before our spouses died.

He has asked me about my feelings on sex. Abby, what does a 59-year-old woman say to a 71-year-old man about sex without marriage? I'm very shy about this, and it seems to mean a lot to him. This is the first time I have dated since losing my husband, and I have no clue. -- CLUELESS IN WISCONSIN

DEAR CLUELESS: The next time the gentleman asks you how you feel about sex, say: "I love sex. How do you feel about marriage?"

DEAR ABBY: I have been a widow for more than four years. An older man has started to court me. He has also been a widower for about four years. We both had long marriages before our spouses died.

He has asked me about my feelings on sex. Abby, what does a 59-year-old woman say to a 71-year-old man about sex without marriage? I'm very shy about this, and it seems to mean a lot to him. This is the first time I have dated since losing my husband, and I have no clue. -- CLUELESS IN WISCONSIN

DEAR CLUELESS: The next time the gentleman asks you how you feel about sex, say: "I love sex. How do you feel about marriage?"

DEAR ABBY: Our 13-year-old son, "Kirk," is monitored when he is online, he is given a curfew when visiting neighborhood friends, and he is overall watched like a hawk. However, we have let him play the video game Xbox Live (where kids all over the country play the same games). We recently found out that an adult (posing as a child) had promised Kirk a free pass and asked him to call to tell him where to send it.

Our son, not knowing any better, did indeed call this man. Fortunately, he did not give him any information. But he didn't think to block the phone number, so now this predator has Kirk's cell phone number. (We are turning off the phone.)

Abby, please warn parents that video games that allow children to play online should be supervised, too! We have had a long conversation with our son, as well as contacted the authorities in the state where this man lives. We are ... TRULY GRATEFUL OUR SON IS SAFE IN THE SOUTHWEST

DEAR TRULY GRATEFUL: I'm sure many parents are unaware that their children are vulnerable when they play online games. Of course, the best way to safeguard a minor who plays these games is to have not just one "long conversation" on the subject, but rather an ongoing dialogue about predatory adults who pretend to be someone they aren't.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 18 months and have tried to ignore something that has been bothering me in my marriage for a while. I have asked my husband about it a couple of times, but the last time I asked I told him it would be the last time I bring it up.

I think my husband is gay. To be honest, my initial reaction when I met him was that he was. When I introduce him to family or friends, the first thing they ask me is, "Is he gay?" My husband also tells me that he gets hit on by a lot of men. Just the other day, he said a guy walked up to him and said, "Hey, hottie!" and he told him that he didn't swing like that.

I don't know what to think or believe anymore. I don't know if this has to do with unresolved issues of my mom coming out when I was younger, or if I'm overreacting to the attention he gets from gay guys. -- PERPLEXED IN MICHIGAN

DEAR PERPLEXED: It's possible that you do have some unresolved issues regarding your mother. However, I can't help but wonder where it is that your husband is meeting all of the gay men that he brags are hitting on him. Could it be in gay bars? If that's the case, then he's gay.

DEAR ABBY: Please provide a public service to prevent people from looking foolish, specifically those who -- bless their hearts -- have made some drastic change in their lives or their attitudes, and say they have done a "360."

I'm no math professor, but a circle is 360 degrees, which would put them right back where they started. I think the correct thing to say would be, "I've done a 180." What do you think? -- RUNNIN' IN CIRCLES OVER RHETORIC IN FLORIDA

DEAR RUNNIN' IN CIRCLES: I think you are absolutely right, which is why I'm printing your letter.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: My 23-year-old daughter, "Kimberly," is driving me nuts. She's a college grad, a teacher and cheerleading coach, and she still lives at home. She says she can't afford to move out due to lack of money, yet she shops constantly -- and I don't mean shopping at discount stores. Kimberly has to have the finest car, clothing, etc. Her credit cards are maxed out. She also has a black lab mix that is destroying my back yard. She spends no time with him.

Abby, I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Kimberly won't communicate with me, so what do I do? I remarried a year ago to a fantastic man, but he doesn't want to come between me and my daughter. Any advice would be most welcome. I'm so tired of being my daughter's maid and doormat. -- TRAPPED IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR TRAPPED: You created this monster, and you are going to have to be the one to deal with her. Kimberly is behaving like an overgrown teenager. Unless you want to continue being maid and doormat, you must establish rules for her as long as she's under your roof.

Some suggestions: Your daughter must start a savings account and deposit a certain percentage of her earnings in it to pay for first and last month's rent on a place of her own. She must, on a monthly basis, begin paying off her credit cards. If necessary, Kimberly will also get credit counseling to help her do that. She'll take care of her dog -- training it, exercising it and cleaning up after it -- or you will find the dog a more responsible owner.

You are not Kimberly's friend. You are her mother, so start acting like one. Unless you do, you will continue to be a servant in your own home. Your husband can support you, but he cannot do this for you, and neither can I. By allowing the status quo to continue, you are crippling your child.

DEAR ABBY: About a year ago, my husband had lunch with an old college friend who lives in Maryland. They have been sending e-mails back and forth ever since. She has invited him to stay with her when he goes east on business; she has suggested that they take time together to see sights in the East, etc.

She has also sent him several gifts (gift certificates for dinner, massages, coffee beans, cards), all of which were either e-mailed or sent to his office. I know this because he used the gift certificates to take me and his two kids to dinner.

He insists that there is nothing between him and this woman, but he will not discontinue the friendship. He says he should be allowed to have women friends and insists that I'm out of line by trying to stop this relationship.

Do you think this relationship is really OK? I'm seriously thinking about leaving him. -- ALBUQUERQUE WIFE

DEAR WIFE: Your husband's old school chum is either unusually generous or she's courting him. And he appears to be enjoying the ego massage. It would be interesting to know how they met up again. Did she initiate contact, or did he contact her to arrange that luncheon?

Rather than leaving your husband, arrange to accompany him on his next business trip to the East Coast. Not only could you "see the sights" as a threesome, you can also size up the woman and assess her intentions. Then, if you're still threatened, arrange for you and your spouse to see a marriage counselor. There may be more issues in your relationship than you have told me.

Men and women can have friends of the opposite sex outside of marriage, but there appears to be more going on in this instance than a casual friendship.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)