DEAR ABBY: Our 13-year-old son, "Kirk," is monitored when he is online, he is given a curfew when visiting neighborhood friends, and he is overall watched like a hawk. However, we have let him play the video game Xbox Live (where kids all over the country play the same games). We recently found out that an adult (posing as a child) had promised Kirk a free pass and asked him to call to tell him where to send it.

Our son, not knowing any better, did indeed call this man. Fortunately, he did not give him any information. But he didn't think to block the phone number, so now this predator has Kirk's cell phone number. (We are turning off the phone.)

Abby, please warn parents that video games that allow children to play online should be supervised, too! We have had a long conversation with our son, as well as contacted the authorities in the state where this man lives. We are ... TRULY GRATEFUL OUR SON IS SAFE IN THE SOUTHWEST

DEAR TRULY GRATEFUL: I'm sure many parents are unaware that their children are vulnerable when they play online games. Of course, the best way to safeguard a minor who plays these games is to have not just one "long conversation" on the subject, but rather an ongoing dialogue about predatory adults who pretend to be someone they aren't.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 18 months and have tried to ignore something that has been bothering me in my marriage for a while. I have asked my husband about it a couple of times, but the last time I asked I told him it would be the last time I bring it up.

I think my husband is gay. To be honest, my initial reaction when I met him was that he was. When I introduce him to family or friends, the first thing they ask me is, "Is he gay?" My husband also tells me that he gets hit on by a lot of men. Just the other day, he said a guy walked up to him and said, "Hey, hottie!" and he told him that he didn't swing like that.

I don't know what to think or believe anymore. I don't know if this has to do with unresolved issues of my mom coming out when I was younger, or if I'm overreacting to the attention he gets from gay guys. -- PERPLEXED IN MICHIGAN

DEAR PERPLEXED: It's possible that you do have some unresolved issues regarding your mother. However, I can't help but wonder where it is that your husband is meeting all of the gay men that he brags are hitting on him. Could it be in gay bars? If that's the case, then he's gay.

DEAR ABBY: Please provide a public service to prevent people from looking foolish, specifically those who -- bless their hearts -- have made some drastic change in their lives or their attitudes, and say they have done a "360."

I'm no math professor, but a circle is 360 degrees, which would put them right back where they started. I think the correct thing to say would be, "I've done a 180." What do you think? -- RUNNIN' IN CIRCLES OVER RHETORIC IN FLORIDA

DEAR RUNNIN' IN CIRCLES: I think you are absolutely right, which is why I'm printing your letter.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: My 23-year-old daughter, "Kimberly," is driving me nuts. She's a college grad, a teacher and cheerleading coach, and she still lives at home. She says she can't afford to move out due to lack of money, yet she shops constantly -- and I don't mean shopping at discount stores. Kimberly has to have the finest car, clothing, etc. Her credit cards are maxed out. She also has a black lab mix that is destroying my back yard. She spends no time with him.

Abby, I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Kimberly won't communicate with me, so what do I do? I remarried a year ago to a fantastic man, but he doesn't want to come between me and my daughter. Any advice would be most welcome. I'm so tired of being my daughter's maid and doormat. -- TRAPPED IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR TRAPPED: You created this monster, and you are going to have to be the one to deal with her. Kimberly is behaving like an overgrown teenager. Unless you want to continue being maid and doormat, you must establish rules for her as long as she's under your roof.

Some suggestions: Your daughter must start a savings account and deposit a certain percentage of her earnings in it to pay for first and last month's rent on a place of her own. She must, on a monthly basis, begin paying off her credit cards. If necessary, Kimberly will also get credit counseling to help her do that. She'll take care of her dog -- training it, exercising it and cleaning up after it -- or you will find the dog a more responsible owner.

You are not Kimberly's friend. You are her mother, so start acting like one. Unless you do, you will continue to be a servant in your own home. Your husband can support you, but he cannot do this for you, and neither can I. By allowing the status quo to continue, you are crippling your child.

DEAR ABBY: About a year ago, my husband had lunch with an old college friend who lives in Maryland. They have been sending e-mails back and forth ever since. She has invited him to stay with her when he goes east on business; she has suggested that they take time together to see sights in the East, etc.

She has also sent him several gifts (gift certificates for dinner, massages, coffee beans, cards), all of which were either e-mailed or sent to his office. I know this because he used the gift certificates to take me and his two kids to dinner.

He insists that there is nothing between him and this woman, but he will not discontinue the friendship. He says he should be allowed to have women friends and insists that I'm out of line by trying to stop this relationship.

Do you think this relationship is really OK? I'm seriously thinking about leaving him. -- ALBUQUERQUE WIFE

DEAR WIFE: Your husband's old school chum is either unusually generous or she's courting him. And he appears to be enjoying the ego massage. It would be interesting to know how they met up again. Did she initiate contact, or did he contact her to arrange that luncheon?

Rather than leaving your husband, arrange to accompany him on his next business trip to the East Coast. Not only could you "see the sights" as a threesome, you can also size up the woman and assess her intentions. Then, if you're still threatened, arrange for you and your spouse to see a marriage counselor. There may be more issues in your relationship than you have told me.

Men and women can have friends of the opposite sex outside of marriage, but there appears to be more going on in this instance than a casual friendship.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)

DEAR ABBY: I was married a year ago. During our honeymoon, my husband started telling me I could not wear my wedding band and engagement ring together -- they were "too flashy," and he didn't want people to think he had money. (My wedding band and engagement ring together are about 2 1/2 carats.) Being a brand-new bride, and excited about being able to wear both my rings, I refused his request.

Over the past year he has brought it up again often, saying I should wear only my wedding band. I love my rings and want to wear both. He selected my engagement ring himself, and we picked out my wedding band together, so I don't understand why he didn't buy me a smaller engagement ring or suggest that I get a simpler wedding band. I wouldn't have cared if my rings were smaller, but now that I have them, I love wearing them, and I don't want to stop.

I always take my rings off when I'm in the shower. Three weeks ago, while I was taking my shower, my husband took my engagement ring. Now he refuses to give it back to me. I have searched everywhere, but I have no idea where he put it. Every time I look at my hand and see my lonely wedding band, I wish I had my engagement ring. I miss wearing it, and I'm beginning to resent my husband over this.

Please tell me, Abby, am I being petty and materialistic, or does my husband have no right to keep the ring from me? -- RINGLESS IN INDIANA

DEAR RINGLESS: Your husband had no right to take the ring. It was given to you with the promise of marriage, and you have kept your part of the bargain. Is he controlling? Does he owe people money? Could that be why he wants you to appear less affluent than you are? If he didn't want you to enjoy it, why would he buy it for you in the first place?

Your letter set off alarm bells. If you're smart, you'll start looking closely at all financial records. Something is up, and your husband is not being open about it. His behavior was reprehensible. If I were you, I'd be suspicious -- very suspicious.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)