DEAR ABBY: I was married a year ago. During our honeymoon, my husband started telling me I could not wear my wedding band and engagement ring together -- they were "too flashy," and he didn't want people to think he had money. (My wedding band and engagement ring together are about 2 1/2 carats.) Being a brand-new bride, and excited about being able to wear both my rings, I refused his request.

Over the past year he has brought it up again often, saying I should wear only my wedding band. I love my rings and want to wear both. He selected my engagement ring himself, and we picked out my wedding band together, so I don't understand why he didn't buy me a smaller engagement ring or suggest that I get a simpler wedding band. I wouldn't have cared if my rings were smaller, but now that I have them, I love wearing them, and I don't want to stop.

I always take my rings off when I'm in the shower. Three weeks ago, while I was taking my shower, my husband took my engagement ring. Now he refuses to give it back to me. I have searched everywhere, but I have no idea where he put it. Every time I look at my hand and see my lonely wedding band, I wish I had my engagement ring. I miss wearing it, and I'm beginning to resent my husband over this.

Please tell me, Abby, am I being petty and materialistic, or does my husband have no right to keep the ring from me? -- RINGLESS IN INDIANA

DEAR RINGLESS: Your husband had no right to take the ring. It was given to you with the promise of marriage, and you have kept your part of the bargain. Is he controlling? Does he owe people money? Could that be why he wants you to appear less affluent than you are? If he didn't want you to enjoy it, why would he buy it for you in the first place?

Your letter set off alarm bells. If you're smart, you'll start looking closely at all financial records. Something is up, and your husband is not being open about it. His behavior was reprehensible. If I were you, I'd be suspicious -- very suspicious.

DEAR ABBY: Please help me handle a problem with my brother-in-law, "George." George has a dog that is aggressive toward people. "Brutus" has bitten my nephews, nieces and several complete strangers.

George brings Brutus everywhere. He even brought Brutus to our wedding, which was a formal event. I do not like Brutus, and I'm afraid of what he might do to our 1-year-old child, the neighbors or to me.

My husband and in-laws won't talk to George about this. Am I wrong to expect my husband to step up and speak to his brother about Brutus? I want to say something, but my husband always makes me feel like I'm being "mean" and that saying anything would hurt George's feelings. Please help. -- DOG-TIRED IN MISSOULA, MONT.

DEAR DOG-TIRED: Ask yourself, and your wimp of a husband, which would be easier to heal: your brother-in-law's "feelings" or your child's sweet little face. A dog that has proven itself to be aggressive has no place around children. As a mother, it is your duty to protect your child from possible harm. If you don't speak up, it appears nobody else will. And if Brutus is as you describe him, he's an accident waiting to happen.

P.S. That dog should not have attended your formal wedding. Not only was he a danger to the other guests, he couldn't conform to the dress code.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I am a single mother of three girls, ages 12, 5 and 3. Yes, they all have the same father -- which is part of my dilemma.

When my oldest daughter was 2, her father and I broke up and were apart for seven years. He has always been a good father, so we never lost contact with each other. Well, a couple of years later he became engaged, and in 2002 he got married. The problem is I was seven months' pregnant with our second child when he married. Two years after he was married, I gave birth to our third child.

Despite my family's urging, I firmly believe that I should not be the one to tell his wife about his two "other" children. The girls are getting older and want to spend more time with their father -- not to mention that sometimes I just need a break!

After five years, he still cannot bring himself to tell his wife. The younger two kids have never been to his house, and when he does come around to see them or take them somewhere, it's only for a few hours at a time -- maybe a couple of days out of the month.

I definitely do not want to break up their marriage -- if it comes to that -- but I need help with these kids. She should definitely know, right? -- NOT THE INNOCENT VICTIM IN OHIO

DEAR NOT THE VICTIM: This man sees his children "a few hours at a time -- maybe a couple of days out of the month," and you call him a good father? He doesn't sound like Father of the Year to me. He sounds irresponsible. You did not mention whether he's supporting your three children, but if he's not, he should be.

Of course his wife should know what her husband has been up to. However, whether you're the one to tell her is debatable. Give him a deadline to own up, and tell him if he doesn't tell his wife, you will. But if you do, be prepared for her to be irate. She may forbid her husband from seeing you -- and who could blame her? After all, you have been having unprotected sex with her spouse.

Because you need respite from caring for your daughters, explore whether this man's parents or siblings would be open to baby-sitting. But don't count on his stepping up to the plate any more than he has -- unless you have a court order in your hand.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I know a couple that we see nearly every weekend. While "Dixie" is easygoing and fun, her husband, "Fred," is extremely competitive. He has already ruined board games and Pictionary for me, and recreational sports like bowling and pool are no longer fun, either.

Fred is always either gloating because he won or sulking because he didn't. Fred is otherwise a funny, intelligent man. Aside from turning down invitations to spend time with them, how can we avoid the frustrations that come from hanging out with Fred? -- TEAM PLAYER, RENO, NEV.

DEAR TEAM PLAYER: Fred may be funny and intelligent, but he is also immature and a poor sport. Avoid the frustration by scheduling other kinds of activities when you see this couple. Invite them for dinner and a movie, or another event that doesn't involve competition such as a play, a concert or a social event involving other friends. If that's not feasible, then you'll have to limit your time with them.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I am writing in response to "Robin in Newark, Calif." (July 12), who stated that he was annoyed because people thought his son was his grandson. I have had a similar problem all my life.

I am a 12-year-old girl. My father is 67. Kids ask me if he is my grandpa.

When I was really young, I'd say, "No! He is my father!" Now that I am a little bit more mature, I say, "No. He is my brother's father." It's cheesy, but they get the hint. -- MARCI IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR MARCI: I like your answer. You're a wise young lady with a clever sense of humor. The letters I received from readers of all ages prove it's all "relative," regardless of how you say it:

DEAR ABBY: My dad had an even better comeback when he was asked whether my younger sister was his grandchild. He would say, "No, she's my sister." It was just a funny comeback that wasn't offensive to anyone. -- LOVES HER DAD

DEAR ABBY: I just read the letter from "Robin," who would become upset when people asked if his baby was his grandson.

My father was a judge in upstate New York when he married my mother. Two years later, when he was 50 and she was 38, I came along. I can still remember how Dad would respond when someone would ask if I was his granddaughter. He would chuckle proudly and say, "No, she's my daughter," and beam. The person who asked would be momentarily surprised, and then smile. Everyone felt good about it.

Robin, you've got bragging rights. Revel in them! -- STEPHANIE IN ALABAMA

DEAR ABBY: My husband, Joe, is 75, and we have a 2 1/2-year-old son. Joe goes through the same thing -- people assume that he is "Grandpa." Unlike Robin, we love people's reaction when we tell them he is "Daddy."

People think my husband is in his late 50s and are surprised he has a son who is so young. Imagine the look on their faces when we tell them his real age. He has gotten handshakes, high fives, thumbs-up and pats on the back. People remember us because of our son. We enjoy the reactions, conversations and, sometimes, the friendships we have made because of our situation.

Please tell Robin to take it in stride and be proud that he has a chance to be a daddy at his age. I know my husband is. -- BRENDA IN OZONA, TEXAS

DEAR ABBY: My husband, a college professor, took our 18-month-old son, Charles, to school with him one day. One of the students commented about his "grandson." When he came home, his ego was thoroughly deflated.

I had a T-shirt made for our little boy that said, "He's My Dad" on the front and "Not My Granddad" on the back. Charles wore the shirt frequently.

That was more than 20 years ago. Charles has grown into a wonderful young man ... but I'm not sure my husband ever completely recovered from that student's comment. -- I'M THE MOM

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)