DEAR ABBY: The latest Harry Potter book came out recently, and I have been reading it. I don't have any serious problems. Rather, I have something to say to those who enjoy spoiling the surprise of a book.

I've read the Harry Potter books since first grade. (I'm now 13.) They are a major part of my childhood. The sixth book was spoiled for me by a close friend. Not only did she emphatically announce who died, it became common knowledge whether you've read the book or not.

I've been reluctant to touch the Internet for a few days. I want to take my time to savor this book because once I read it, I'll never have the same feeling of surprise again. I'm not one of those who speed ahead to finish a book in a night.

Not only do some fans spoil it, but the media does too. I can't look at my e-mail provider page because there are spoilers in the headlines. I am considering sealing myself inside a plastic bubble to avoid hearing anything about the book.

This is also a problem with movies, other books and video games. Please, for those of us who wish to remain in the dark until the end, don't say a word about the plot! -- IN THE DARK (AND ENJOYING IT)

DEAR IN THE DARK: I suspect the impulse to spill the beans and spoil the experience for someone else comes from the need to feel important. ("You heard it from me first!") It is not a particularly endearing trait.

While some members of the media were, indeed, guilty of giving away the end of the last Harry Potter book, other critics and reviewers were considerate enough to write: "Spoiler Alert! Don't read further if you don't want the plot revealed." Hats off to them.

DEAR ABBY: I recently became involved in doing sexual acts for money. I often enjoy these acts, but I fear that one day I might be hurt or even killed. What can I do to stop? -- "TRIXI" IN CHANDLER, ARIZ.

DEAR TRIXI: Your concerns are valid, and it's time to examine the reasons you're having sex with strangers for money. If your reason is financial, understand that the career you have chosen is not only dangerous, but one with a very short shelf life. You would be wiser to find a legitimate career you can enjoy past the age of 40 -- preferably one with retirement benefits.

If you're doing this because you're hooked on the excitement, then you may have a sexual addiction and could be helped by joining a self-help group such as Sexaholics Anonymous, which helps people break the cycle of sexually destructive thinking and behavior. You can find it at � HYPERLINK "http://www.sa.org" ��www.sa.org� or at 866-424-8777.

Another group that could help you is Sex Workers Anonymous, a 12-step program for persons of all ages, races, sexualities, religions and backgrounds. Its mission is to help people find recovery from any aspect of the sex industry. Its Web site is � HYPERLINK "http://www.sexworkersanonymous.com" ��www.sexworkersanonymous.com�.

Many years ago, I met a pretty young woman at a Hollywood party who was quite open about the fact that she was a prostitute. Curious, I asked her why she had decided to go into that line of work. Here's what she said: "All I ever got was their scorn when I did it for free. So I decided to make them pay!" In other words, she felt it was the only way she could maintain control in a relationship. I found it sad back then, and I still do.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I enjoyed your advice to "Judy in Birmingham, Ala." (June 11), who wondered if 16 is too young to know you're truly in love. Her letter brought back memories for me.

My wife and I were 16 when we met in homeroom class. She wore my high school ring on a chain around her neck. We went to different colleges and became engaged six years after we met. At age 26, we finally married.

Three children and four grandchildren later, we are still in love at 86. (Not madly, perhaps, but still passionately!) There was never anyone else for either of us.

Yes, Judy, love is wonderful. But a word of advice: Keep your hormones under control until you both are mature.

P.S. Last month, I gave my wife a ring for our 60th wedding anniversary. It has been 70 years since we first met in high school. -- TUTU KANE IN HONOLULU

DEAR TUTU KANE: My congratulations to you both. I advised Judy that she is still maturing, and it is better to be older before promising to stay with someone forever. While you and your wife were lucky, the majority of teenage romances do not end up "happily ever after," as some of my readers shared. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I'm 15, and six months ago my first boyfriend broke up with me for another girl. While we went out we told each other that we were in love. He even said he wanted us to get married. That changed in a matter of days. Please tell "Judy" that what a guy says now might not be what he'll do later. Just make sure you don't do anything you'll regret if the guy leaves. -- KNOWS FROM TENNESSEE

DEAR ABBY: Please tell Judy that 16 is not too young to fall in love. When Gina moved into the house across the street from me, we fell in love almost immediately. I was 14, she was 13. Although we waited to be married until we were 18, I knew we would be together forever. We have just celebrated our 27th wedding anniversary.

Yes, Judy, you can fall in love at 16, but keep in mind that as people grow, they may change, along with their goals and interests. Give yourself time. Keep your options open. You have plenty of time to make a forever kind of commitment. -- GINA'S MAN IN VIRGINIA

DEAR ABBY: Judy should wait until they get older and live life to the fullest. I thought I was in love at 16. I married the guy, but it only lasted five years. We finally realized that we hadn't been able to live our lives like we should have. If Judy and her boyfriend can still stay together, then they should go for it. I wish her well. -- CRYSTAL IN KENTUCKY

DEAR ABBY: I met my husband when he was 17 and I was 15. When he asked me to "go steady," I actually took a steno pad and listed all the pros and cons. We dated through high school, then went to college.

After my first year of college, Pete gave me a diamond, and we began planning our wedding. Our wedding was June 7, 1963. We recently celebrated our 44th wedding anniversary, and we are still very happy together. We raised seven biological children and a foster son, and are now expecting our 13th grandchild.

At 16, there's no need to be in a hurry. Continue to date and develop both as individuals and as a couple. Save sex for marriage. My husband and I are the proof that it can work. -- ANOTHER JUDY, GRAND RAPIDS, MICH.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I am 28, single, and have no kids. I don't want any. I love the freedom of picking up and doing what I want when I want, and I wouldn't trade that for anything. I come from a large family and have many nieces and nephews. I love them all, and some of my friends have children that I adore, too.

The problem is, I don't want them coming to my house unannounced. Many of these kids are small, and I have many breakables around my home. When I'm planning on having "little visitors," I take special care to put away anything I don't want broken.

I have tried explaining to friends and family that as much as I'd love for them to visit with the kids, please give me 30 minutes' notice at least, so I can child-proof my home. Many of them have taken this badly, assuming that I don't want their kids and, by extension, them in my home. How do I make it clearer? -- MYRA IN MISSOULA

DEAR MYRA: I see nothing out of line about asking that friends or family please call before dropping over to allow you a few minutes to prepare for the visit. Aside from the fact that you have breakables in your house, what if you weren't dressed or presentable?

Calling first is common courtesy. You should not have to "make it clearer" because the people who are rude are the "drop-ins" -- with or without children in tow. Of course, some parents have so completely lost their perspective that they cannot distinguish between themselves and their children, but that's another story.

DEAR ABBY: My problem is my older sister. She lives across the country from me, but feels, as she has since we were teenagers, that before I sell old records and CDs to get credit at the store to buy new merchandise, I should consult her to see if she wants any of the stuff I'm selling.

I have taken good care of my records over the years, so I can get top dollar, then buy more items I want while culling the things I don't listen to anymore. My sister acts like she should have first dibs and tries to guilt-trip me for not thinking of her first. What's up? I feel that almost 30 years of guilt-tripping is enough. I have made my position clear, but she tries to force me to grovel and convince her that I have done the right thing.

I don't make a lot of money. I couldn't afford to buy the things I get if I didn't first clean out the old stuff. She brings up the topic every chance she gets, and constantly asks if I have cleaned out my supply of unwanted items. Is there any way to get her to let this go? -- TIRED OF GROVELING IN SAN FRANCISCO

DEAR TIRED OF GROVELING: You're making two mistakes. When your sister raises the subject, you can't resist taking the bait. And then you let her push your buttons. The next time she mentions the subject of your housecleaning, change the subject. And if she tries to make you feel guilty -- laugh. People continue to push buttons only as long as they work. If you fail to react, she will eventually stop.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)