DEAR ABBY: For the second time this week, I saw a dog left in a car while its owner went shopping. Please remind your readers that anything over 70 degrees -- or even 65 on a sunny day -- can mean that the inside of a car will quickly climb to more than 100 degrees!

The dog today, an adorable pug, was panting desperately against the window, which had not even been cracked a couple of inches in an attempt to do the right thing. Abby, the car had a couple of doggie decals on it, as if the owners believed themselves to be animal lovers!

Please also let your readers know it's OK to leave a polite note on a car, telling the owner that it's too hot to leave a dog in a car, and to alert the manager of the store (if they know which one) so an announcement can be made that there is a dog in distress. It is worth the extra minute to try to courteously educate and alert the careless animal owner. -- NO DOGS IN THE CAR AFTER MEMORIAL DAY

DEAR NO DOGS: Thank you for your important message. I spoke with Capt. David Havard of the Los Angeles SPCA, who kindly provided the following information: "Leaving a dog in a car can be considered neglect or abuse. There are laws governing cruelty to animals, and enforcement of those laws would fall under local jurisdiction."

So, readers, if you see a pet left in a parked car, the first thing to do would be to alert security personnel for the parking lot. And if the lot has no security personnel on duty, notify the police. Leaving a note on the offender's car is not enough, because the poor animal could be dead by the time the owner returns.

DEAR ABBY: Last year, for our 13th anniversary, I bought my wife a pair of diamond earrings (about 1 total carat). The only thing I did not mention was that they were man-made diamonds and cost only about one-fourth of the real thing.

Abby, she lost the earrings on a recent trip and is heartbroken. I hate to see her feel this guilty. I want to tell her the truth, but I'm torn because I don't want her to think I'm cheap for getting her man-made diamonds instead of real ones. -- TO TELL OR NOT TO TELL IN HOUSTON

DEAR TO TELL OR NOT TO TELL: There is a way for you to expiate your guilt. Buy your wife another pair of earrings -- and this time make them the real thing.

(P.S. Because of your wife's track record, be smart and insure them.)

DEAR ABBY: Last year, for our 13th anniversary, I bought my wife a pair of diamond earrings (about 1 total carat). The only thing I did not mention was that they were man-made diamonds and cost only about one-fourth of the real thing.

Abby, she lost the earrings on a recent trip and is heartbroken. I hate to see her feel this guilty. I want to tell her the truth, but I'm torn because I don't want her to think I'm cheap for getting her man-made diamonds instead of real ones. -- TO TELL OR NOT TO TELL IN HOUSTON

DEAR TO TELL OR NOT TO TELL: There is a way for you to expiate your guilt. Buy your wife another pair of earrings -- and this time make them the real thing.

(P.S. Because of your wife's track record, be smart and insure them.)

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: At 16, I married a man I didn't love. No excuses, but the stress of that marriage kept me an angry person. I was an abusive mother when my children were growing up. I have apologized to them more than once and changed who I am. Last year, my second husband and I opened our home to my oldest daughter and her two children. (She had her third baby while living with us.)

Sadly, my daughter is perpetuating the abusive behavior she grew up with. I tried to gently bring it to her attention while she was living here, but she quickly blamed it all on me. She moved out, separated herself and her children from me, and through telephone conversations has also alienated her sister and brother from me. She has lied to them about me, and they have shared their horror stories about childhood abuse with each other. Now, only one out of four of my grown children will even speak to me.

What more can I do besides apologize? I love my children and grandchildren. I hate seeing them repeat the cycle of abuse. They blame me, saying they learned it from me. I have tried telling my daughter she must learn how to break the cycle and make things better for her own children, but this has only pushed her further away. How can I mend my broken family and my broken heart? -- FILLED WITH REGRET IN INDIANA

DEAR FILLED WITH REGRET: You can't. You planted this crop, and this is the harvest. However, if the child who is still speaking with you can prevail upon his/her siblings to reconsider what they are doing, there is a chance that with counseling the pattern of abuse can be broken. It's a long shot. And if it doesn't work, then you must seriously evaluate whether child protective services should intervene for the sake of your grandchildren's safety.

DEAR ABBY: I need your advice on how to deny my granddaughter the right to live with me. My parents divorced when I was 11. I was the eldest of eight children and was sent to a foster home, where I was also their baby sitter.

When I graduated from high school, I immediately married a boy from school who I was friendly with. It got me out of the system, but I worked hard on that marriage. We had five children in six years, plus both of my elderly in-laws lived with us.

For the last two years I have been alone. (Both of my parents died shortly after my husband was killed in an auto accident.) I have been taking care of others all my life, so now I feel I deserve some alone time.

Because I own my home (which I earned myself), my granddaughter thinks it is her right to move in with her two girls as "you have more space than you need." I love "Mary," but I feel she won't move out once she's in. I don't want to alienate her, but I want her to stand on her own two feet, not mine. -- FEELING TRAPPED AND GUILTY

DEAR FEELING TRAPPED AND GUILTY: Stand your ground. You are not trapped and you should not feel guilty. Your alarm bells are going off with good reason. The statement that you "have more space than you need" is presumptuous, and shows that your granddaughter has an exaggerated sense of entitlement. And you might, indeed, have a hard time getting rid of her once she gets comfortable.

My advice is to "remind" your granddaughter of the facts of your life, just as you related them to me. You are entitled to peace of mind and a life of your own because you have definitely "served your time."

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: While I was growing up, my parents made fun of and belittled me. Everything I said was either "ridiculous" or wrong in some way. I was teased at school by the other children, and my parents wondered aloud what I was doing wrong to cause them to tease me. I was told to "grow a thicker skin" or "get over it." No one seemed to understand how much it hurt being picked on all the time.

Over the years, I have learned to look the other way when I feel bad because I know most people probably don't mean it. Last week, however, I defended myself against a co-worker who took everything I said and turned it into a joke. We were with a group of people, and everything I said seemed to be simply hilarious. I was embarrassed and hurt because when I asked her to stop, she just laughed and said, "I can't help it! You leave yourself wide open!"

I became very angry and told her she should hang out with some of the others who like to joke that way, and that not everyone thinks her kind of humor is funny.

I ran into her the next day, and when I greeted her, her response was, "Frankly, after your little outburst, I have nothing to say to you!" She hasn't spoken to me in a week. Now I feel guilty for having spoken up. I plan to write her a letter of apology. I never intended to return the hurt she was giving me -- just to make her aware of how she made me feel.

Was I wrong to say anything to her in public, as she was doing to me? Do I owe her an apology, or was I justified? I feel her behavior was immature, and I'm not the only one she does it to. I just wanted her to stop, not destroy a relationship with an otherwise nice person. Your thoughts, please? -- "LILY" IN NORTH DAKOTA

DEAR "LILY": Do not write your co-worker an apology. She is the one who should have apologized to you -- immediately -- when you asked her (nicely) to stop ridiculing you. She is not a nice person, she is a bully -- and I'll bet the other people she has ridiculed were cheering you on.

Interesting, isn't it, that when you called her on her rude behavior she became hypersensitive? A person who dishes it out should be able to take it -- and frankly, you showed better manners under the circumstances than most people would have.

DEAR ABBY: I just learned through a good friend of mine that "someone" sent out a mass e-mail to all my friends complaining that she wasn't invited to my wedding. Abby, this person is a friend of a friend. I do not have her phone number, e-mail, address, etc., and we haven't seen or spoken to each other in more than two years.

I never enjoyed hanging out with her because she loved to lay guilt trips over every little thing. This is just another classic example. How should I handle her behavior? -- ANONYMOUS IN NEBRASKA

DEAR ANONYMOUS: Ignore the mass e-mail. The person you describe may have emotional problems, one of them being a fixation on you. You are under no obligation to invite this person to your wedding. And if she pops into your life in the future, avoid her. She's trouble.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)