DEAR ABBY: My husband and I raised our two sons and two daughters. One son and both daughters married well. Our other son, "Neil," is gay. He and his partner, "Ron," have been together 15 years, but Neil's father and I never wanted to know Ron because we disapproved of their lifestyle.

When I was 74, my husband died, leaving me in ill health and nearly penniless. No longer able to live alone, I asked my married son and two daughters if I could "visit" each of them for four months a year. (I didn't want to burden any one family, and thought living out of a suitcase would be best for everyone.) All three turned me down. Feeling unwanted, I wanted to die.

When Neil and Ron heard what had happened, they invited me to move across country and live with them. They welcomed me into their home, and even removed a wall between two rooms so I'd have a bedroom with a private bath and sitting room -- although we spend most of our time together.

They also include me in many of their plans. Since I moved in with them, I have traveled more than I have my whole life and seen places I only read about in books. They never mention the fact that they are supporting me, or that I ignored them in the past.

When old friends ask how it feels living with my gay son, I tell them I hope they're lucky enough to have one who will take them in one day. Please continue urging your readers to accept their children as they are. My only regret is that I wasted 15 years. -- GRATEFUL MOM

DEAR GRATEFUL MOM: You are indeed fortunate to have such a loving, generous and forgiving son. Sexual orientation is not a measure of anyone's humanity or worth. Thank you for pointing out how important it is that people respect each other for who they are, not for what we would like them to be.

You could have learned that lesson long ago, had you and your husband contacted Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) when you first learned that Neil was gay. Among other things, the organization offers support groups and education for parents who need to learn more about gender issues. (The address is 1726 M St. N.W., Suite 400, Washington, D.C. 20036.)

DEAR ABBY: Some friends asked us to store furniture and other belongings in our basement for a month. That was three years ago. We have lost contact with them and no longer know where they are.

My husband and I want to clean out the basement, but we disagree about what to do with the other couple's items. I want to have a garage sale, and afterward give any unsold items to charity. My husband wants to put the items out for trash pickup.

What is the ethical solution? And what should be done with the money from the garage sale? -- ANNE IN PRAIRIE VILLAGE, KAN.

DEAR ANNE: Donate it all to charity and forgo the garage sale. That way there will be no question of your ethics because there will be no money.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I need your help. Last week, my mother and I got into a huge fight, with her screaming at me, "I don't want you living here ever again!" I ran into my room in tears, hoping she didn't really mean what she said.

Yesterday, she put a 30-day notice on my door, telling me to move out. I'm 19, so it's probably legal for her to do this to me, but I don't want to go. I love my family. My father is no longer in the picture. I haven't seen him since I was 2. I love my house, my room, my life. I have nowhere to go. I have very little money, no skills, no job, no license and no car. My mother never taught me to be independent.

I don't understand why she's doing this. I don't drink or do drugs and I'm not promiscuous. I'm going to a junior college and getting good grades. My mother once promised me that if I went to college I could live with her.

I am terrified of being homeless. I'm terrified of losing my family. I could get raped or robbed, and if I don't find a job, I could starve to death. Even if I do find a place, what happens if I get sick or injured? No one will take care of me. I'm not ready to live on my own yet, and I resent her thinking that I can.

I have tried talking to her about this. All she said was, "I don't care what you do with your life. Just get out." I feel like an orphan. What should I do? Is there any way I can convince her to let me stay? I have nowhere else to turn. Please help me. -- TERRIFIED IN SANTA ROSA

DEAR TERRIFIED: It would have been helpful if you had mentioned what precipitated the "huge fight" that caused your mother to order you out. It might have given me an insight into her mental state. But because her mind seems to be made up, you must immediately talk to a counselor at school about student housing and employment that might be available.

Former president Franklin Delano Roosevelt once said, "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." That statement applies to you. You WILL make it through this difficult time. You are not the only young person who has, by unfortunate circumstances, been forced to stand on her own two feet at a moment's notice. However, your first stop should be the school counselor's office, and your second at the financial office.

DEAR ABBY: I have a gripe I hope you can help me with. I am a 51-year-old man who has an 18-month-old son. Every time I take him anywhere, people come up to me and ask if he is my grandson. Why would people assume such a thing?

Maybe I'm making too much out of this, but it really was bothering me. So now, after telling them, "No, he's my son" several times, I have finally given up.

Now if someone asks if my son is my grandson, I reply, "No. My grandson lives in Los Angeles with his mother. This is my grandson's uncle."

It usually takes a few minutes for the light to come on, but they eventually get it. -- ROBIN IN NEWARK, CALIF.

DEAR ROBIN: Your letter proves that sometimes even the most innocuous question can be tactless. And with so many mature men starting second families these days, you'd think people would know better. In the past I have heard similar stories from older mothers who have let their hair go gray.

I like your solution, though. A humorous response often gets a message across better than an angry one.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 29-year-old mother of five angelic children. You'd think that a seasoned mother would know the real value of family, but you would have been wrong.

I, like so many others, became caught up in the details of my own life and forgot that I was a part of someone else's life -- my mother's. I forgot to chat with her about nothing when she called me. I forgot to visit her for no special reason. I forgot to appreciate her "just because." I never bought her a Mother's Day gift because I never seemed to have the money. Of course, I always had a good reason, and I thought "tomorrow" would bring another opportunity.

Well, tomorrow never came. My mother committed suicide March 24, 2004. I called her that day, just to say "I love you," and got her answering machine. I never had the chance to tell Mommy all the things that I forgot. I was so busy with the details of my own life that I was blind to the disintegration of hers.

Now that it is too late, I talk to Mommy every day -- especially if I'm busy. I look for gifts I know she'd like, even though I still don't have the money. Please, Abby, let your readers know that it's not too late for them. People don't just assume that they are loved and appreciated. We need to show them every day.

I would give anything in this world to be able to see my mother's beautiful face one last time and say, "You are amazing!" Please tell someone you love them today. Tomorrow is promised to no one. -- MOMMY'S BABY GIRL IN TENNESSEE

DEAR BABY GIRL: Please accept my deepest sympathy for your loss. It is clear that you are still grieving. When someone close commits suicide, it is normal for the survivors to feel guilt. But please, stop dwelling so much on your perceived shortcomings. Mothers do not commit suicide because their daughters forget to call or visit. And they do not commit suicide because their daughters don't buy them Mother's Day gifts. I'm sure your mother knew you loved her and was proud of you.

I agree with your message that it's important to tell those we love how important they are to us, and not to take anyone for granted. I hope my readers will take it to heart. However, in light of the fact that it has been three years since your mother took her life, I am urging you to consult a mental health professional who can help you to let go of the burden of guilt you are carrying. The time has come to start looking forward again, not backward.

DEAR ABBY: I am 55. I consider myself successful and happily married -- not too many things seem wrong. My wife and I have been married 27 years and have three children.

I have a question for you. I found a behind-the-ear hearing aid in my bed by the pillow. My wife and I don't need hearing aids. There are only so many ways that it could have gotten there. Do you think I should be concerned? -- BURNED UP IN BURNSVILLE, MINN.

DEAR BURNED UP: Unless the pest control man has a hearing problem, you should consider this a red flag. You are certainly within your rights to show your wife the evidence and ask her, "Who's been sleeping in my bed? Goldilocks?"

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)