DEAR ABBY: I find myself in a head vs. heart situation. I have ended an emotionally draining relationship of more than 10 years. As I tried to find the courage to "move on," I found myself turning to a married woman who understood everything I had experienced and made me believe that she was also looking for the courage to change her situation. Our relationship grew into something more than it should have, considering her marital status -- and a considerable amount of time has passed.
I still believe she is my closest friend, but I don't know if I should continue to support her in the hope that she will make a change. Or is it time to face the realization that I have made a big mistake and try to cut my ties with this woman? I am at the point of near obsession with wondering if this vision in my heart will ever come true.
My heart says hold out; my head says back away. I'm looking for objective wisdom. -- BAFFLED IN WASHINGTON
DEAR BAFFLED: Please listen to your head. Listening to your heart has brought you to the point of near obsession. Obsession is not love; it is a sickness.
Time is the most precious gift we have, and you have already wasted enough of it. Face it: She wasn't your pot of gold at the end of the rainbow; she was your "comfort" station on the way to your destination. It's time to move on.