life

Practice After Breakfast Puts Golfer in the Rough With Wife

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | May 18th, 2007 | Letter 1 of 4

DEAR ABBY: Is it harmful for someone to practice golf swings right after breakfast? I'm talking about leaving the breakfast table and heading outside to the back yard and starting practice. The way I see it, swings exert a lot of effort. Swinging a club for 15 to 20 minutes could do damage to the internal organs, right? To say the least, I don't think it helps the digestion.

The "someone" I'm writing about is my husband. He plays golf almost weekly. The only time he doesn't play is when he is away on a business trip. I'm 100 percent behind him playing golf because it's good for his health. I just don't think that practicing any sport right after a meal is appropriate.

I brought this up with him, but he keeps saying that it's the only time he can practice. My argument is: Not being able to do it at some other time doesn't mean that one should do it at the WRONG time.

Please enlighten me on this. If I'm convinced that it won't do my husband any harm, I'll shut up. -- PROTECTIVE WIFE IN SANTA CLARA, CALIF.

DEAR PROTECTIVE: You appear to mean well, but you also appear to have some control issues. If your husband says he feels no ill effects from swinging after breakfast, please leave the poor man alone. Be happy you're married to someone who cares enough about his health to exercise. Many women are not so fortunate.

life

Dear Abby for May 18, 2007

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | May 18th, 2007 | Letter 2 of 4

DEAR ABBY: I was recently on a cross-country flight. My seat partner was an East Indian gentleman. During the flight I noticed that he still had the label sewn on the left arm of his new suit. Because he didn't seem to want to talk, I respected his privacy and didn't tell him about the label.

Now I wonder if I, a red-headed Southern lady, should have told him about his label. Abby, what should I have done? -- SOUTHERN BELLE

DEAR SOUTHERN BELLE: Because your seat partner was not inclined to talk, you should have done exactly what you did -- which was keep quiet.

The label on his jacket may not have been there because of an oversight. Some designers put their labels on the outside rather than the inside, so wearers can publicize not only the brand they are wearing but the implied price they paid for the garment. (Long gone are the days of quiet opulence.)

life

Dear Abby for May 18, 2007

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | May 18th, 2007 | Letter 3 of 4

DEAR ABBY: How do you respond to a woman who is nearly 50 but acts like a child in public at meals? My sister-in-law, "Heather," who is divorced, will hum very loudly and sing out at the table. The family just smiles and says something about how she must really like the song.

Abby, it's embarrassing! We've been in very expensive restaurants, and Heather is rocking and saying, "La, la, la" loudly, and people ask if she's impaired. What can I do? I cringe at any public event. -- RED-FACED IN VERO BEACH, FLA.

DEAR RED-FACED: Heather may be making a bid for attention, which should strike you as more sad than embarrassing. Or she could have a mild form of Tourette's syndrome. Someone in the family -- not you -- should speak to her about it.

However, if she's unwilling or unable to "change her tune," you'll just have to accept her, eccentric as she is. It's really no reflection on you, and after all -- she's family.

life

Dear Abby for May 18, 2007

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | May 18th, 2007 | Letter 4 of 4

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

life

Parents' Name Game With Kids Causes Schools to Cry Foul

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | May 17th, 2007 | Letter 1 of 2

DEAR ABBY: This is in response to "Confuzzled in Florida" (March 24), regarding parents who give their children one name but demand they be called something different.

I am an administrative assistant in an elementary school in New Jersey, and I have encountered the same problem with parents who register their children for kindergarten.

I must check the child's original birth certificate to verify the birthday and to ensure that he or she is registered under his or her legal name and that it's spelled correctly.

Abby, I've had parents tell me that "Little Johnny" does not know that "Franklin" is his legal name, and I should register him as "Little Johnny." I then have to explain to the parent that we DO have to register him as "Franklin" because that's the name he'll have to learn to write in kindergarten, as it's his legal name. I also explain that when "Franklin" starts school, he can tell his teacher he prefers "Little Johnny" and can then be called whatever name he chooses in the class.

I advise parents to make sure the child knows what his or her legal name is before starting kindergarten. This is the name that will appear on all records throughout the school years. -- JERSEY GIRL (NOT MY LEGAL NAME)

DEAR JERSEY GIRL: Thank you for writing. I heard from many readers who wanted to weigh in on the custom of using a name other than the child's legal first name. They admitted the practice can be bothersome, and offered ways to manage the confusion. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: As a travel agent, I run into many unique names. Some parents do it to honor relatives; others do it to be funny. (Mac is the legal first name of a boy who weighed 11 pounds at birth -- as in Mac truck.) Other parents try to be cute and use the same first letter for each kid's name, then they run out of more common names.

The solution is to use the child's given name rather than the nickname on official documents such as a library card. This will eliminate future problems, like the name on his or her library card not matching the driver's license, or the one on his or her airline ticket being different from what's on the passport.

Anything "official" should have your legal name. -- JOHN IN BAXTER, MINN.

DEAR ABBY: I use my middle name -- or rather a shortened version of it. My childhood was spent as a victim of abuse, and after a few years in counseling, I was able to break that cycle. Part of that split from my past was to start using my middle name instead of my first, to take charge of my life and never fall into that victim's role again.

Years later I married. My husband's family has a tradition of the males all having the same first name and being distinguished by their middle names. This goes back 15 generations. It's confusing at times when we go to the doctor and need a legal document processed, but where possible I always add a notation about the names my children and I answer to. -- BEKAH IN KISSIMMEE, FLA.

DEAR ABBY: My husband, his brothers, father and nephew all go by their middle names. It may seem confusing, but there's also a benefit. If anyone calls asking for him by his legal name, my husband knows it's a telemarketer. -- RACHEL IN TEXAS

DEAR ABBY: My suggestion to parents is, when picking a name for your child, remember that you could be yelling that name in its entirety 20 times a day for the next 18 years -- so make sure it's one you like to hear. -- HOARSE IN NEW JERSEY

life

Dear Abby for May 17, 2007

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | May 17th, 2007 | Letter 2 of 2

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

life

Pie Recipe Gives Family Good Eating, Good Stories

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | May 16th, 2007 | Letter 1 of 2

DEAR ABBY: To this day, the story of my mother's letter from Dear Abby continues to be a family favorite.

Soon after my parents' wedding, Mom wrote to Dear Abby and asked for your pecan pie recipe.

A few days later, a letter arrived addressed to my mom from Dear Abby. Mom made the pie, and Dad loved it. (It's still the best pie ever!)

Several years later, Dad finally got up the nerve to ask Mom what had troubled her so much right after their wedding that she needed to write to Dear Abby. It took him a while to believe that it had been only for a pie recipe. We still laugh about it.

If you have room to print this letter, I know my folks would get a kick out of seeing their story in print, and thanks for so many years of enjoying your pie. -- LUCKY DAUGHTER IN POWAY, CALIF.

DEAR LUCKY DAUGHTER: I'm pleased to print your letter. I can only imagine what your poor father was thinking after the reply to your mother's request arrived.

I'm also pleased that your family has continued to enjoy the pecan pie. The recipe has appeared in my column many times over the years and is also included in my cookbooklet set, which also contains lots of other recipes to use when families get together to celebrate holidays and other special occasions. My mother often used them when she was entertaining.

The cookbooklet set can be ordered by sending a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. Shipping and handling are included in the price.

life

Dear Abby for May 16, 2007

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | May 16th, 2007 | Letter 2 of 2

DEAR ABBY: I'm 20 and engaged to a wonderful guy I'll call "Tom." There is only one thing that worries me. Tom's family isn't the best with money, and he doesn't have much money right now. I don't want to be deeply in debt when we're married, and I'm also worried that I will have to be the one with a "head for money." (I'm not. I was overdrawn last year.)

It seems ridiculous to think that money could get in the way of love, but my parents divorced because of financial problems. How can I work this out with Tom before it gets to be a problem? What's the right approach? -- THINKING AHEAD IN SYRACUSE

DEAR THINKING AHEAD: You may not have a head for money, but you have a keen eye for a serious pitfall ahead. Money problems have wrecked many marriages besides your parents'.

A non-threatening way to approach the subject would be to tell your fiance that before you go any further, the two of you must have premarital counseling. Be sure to tell the counselor about your concerns, because making sure the two of you have similar goals in this area is crucial. A long engagement will not only give you a chance to know each other better, but also give Tom time to reduce or eliminate his debts -- so don't rush into anything.

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