DEAR ABBY: I am a 17-year-old high school senior. Last summer I lost my virginity. Since then I have slept with six guys. Do you think my future husband will be seriously upset about it, even though he will probably have been out there more than I have?

I guess I want to know whether you think I have become free-spirited or just promiscuous. -- POSSIBLY PROMISCUOUS IN MURFREESBORO, N.C.

DEAR POSSIBLY: What I think is less important than what YOU think is appropriate behavior. And if you were comfortable with what you have been doing, you wouldn't have written me.

If you continue on this path, you are in for trouble. The first thing that comes to mind is whether or not you know how to protect yourself from an unplanned pregnancy or a sexually transmitted disease. If the answer is no, then you need to see a doctor or visit a Planned Parenthood clinic and learn about the real "facts of life." These include being checked for any STD you might have already been exposed to.

In addition, you say that in the last seven or eight months you have slept with six different men. At the rate you're going, in another six months that number could double, and by the time you are 25, the total could be close to 100. That is not what people refer to as "free-spirited." It definitely is what they call promiscuous. So, please take a break from men for a while and think carefully about how casual sex could affect your future.

DEAR ABBY: Three years ago, my husband told me he was no longer in love with me. We hadn't been getting along, and I hadn't been giving him the attention he deserved. When he said he didn't want to come home from work at night, it hit me like a ton of bricks. It was the wake-up call I needed.

We have worked things out and managed to stay together, and my husband says he loves me. But I found out that he told a friend at work that he was no longer in love with me before he told me! I'm on an antidepressant, which helps some, but I still feel sad about what he said. I also have a hard time when I see that friend of his. I want to run away and hide. How can I get over the hurt and shame? -- HEART ACHES IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR HEART ACHES: It's possible that in addition to the antidepressant, you could use some counseling. You are viewing this life lesson from a negative perspective. You have nothing to be ashamed of. You and your husband worked out your problems, and you are both winners. So stop feeling like a loser, and call your doctor for a referral.

DEAR ABBY: I have a dear friend who recently met a man through an online dating service. When she told me about him, I thought he sounded too good to be true.

Through public records, I did a check on him. While I did not find anything criminal, his financial picture is not a good one. There are foreclosures, liens, bankruptcy, nonpayment of child support, etc. He is a professional man, and I think he is misrepresenting himself as being successful.

I am very worried about my friend. I don't want to spoil things for her. She's an adult and could do her own checking. I know it's really none of my business, but I'm never going to be able to forgive myself if something happens to her because of him. What would you suggest I do? -- LINDA IN OHIO

DEAR LINDA: You're right -- this was none of your business. However, now that you know the truth, it's time to observe the Golden Rule and ask yourself how you would feel if the situation were reversed and you were in your friend's shoes. If the answer is you would prefer to know all the facts before becoming further involved, tell her what you have learned. What she chooses to do with that information is up to her.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)

DEAR ABBY: I am an accountant. Now that tax season is again in full swing, several staff members from our office have compiled a list of "considerations" for Dear Abby readers in compiling their tax returns:

(1) Do not just "drop in" to leave your tax records. Even if we don't have an office full of clients waiting to be seen (and sometimes we do), we are probably knee-deep in preparing someone else's return. Being distracted from our work for a visit can be very disruptive.

(2) Because we see you only once a year, many clients feel the need to share how their children are doing. We try to be polite and listen. But if you spend up to an hour sharing how wonderful/smart -- or even worthless -- your children are, we'll be trading daylight for darkness trying to catch up. Multiply that by how many clients come through our doors, and it's overwhelming.

(3) Please pay your accountant in a timely fashion. I wish I had a nickel for every client who told me he/she thought his/her spouse had already written the check. However, it has never once occurred that both actually paid the bill. It may seem like we're rolling in money during tax season, but when the deadline rolls around, we have taxes to pay, too.

(4) Please do not call your accountant and ask a question for your neighbor's second cousin or anyone else other than yourself. This work is our livelihood, and giving advice for someone else often entails research, but it is not billable time for our firm.

(5) And last, if you call your accountant requesting information about the tax consequences of a decision you are trying to make, please do not have a fit when you receive a bill for the time spent doing this research. Many times we have spent a lot of time researching real estate transactions, etc. along with current tax laws to determine how a sale might cause increased tax liability for clients, and they are shocked to receive a statement for this time. -- SLEEPLESS IN TEXAS

DEAR SLEEPLESS: I'll bet most people don't recognize how any of the points you mentioned could possibly be an inconvenience, but I'm sure it happens every tax season. In case anyone has forgotten, accountants and tax preparers are human beings who need care, feeding and consideration. They're not robots with endless energy. So, when you go, be aware that this is one of their most pressured times of the year, and be as organized, prepared and businesslike as possible. Your accountant may love you, but it ain't a social call.

DEAR ABBY: My son is being married in September. It is a first marriage for both him and his fiancee. They are professionals and already have most everything they need to begin their life together.

Would it be appropriate to say they are registered at a bank or credit union rather than local retailers? Help with a down payment for their first home would be far more useful to them than three toasters. -- GROOM'S MOTHER IN OGDEN, UTAH

DEAR MOTHER: If you are planning to include that request with the wedding invitations, the answer is no. However, if you are asked specifically what the young couple needs or would like to have, then it is socially acceptable to respond in the way that you would like.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I'm married; he's married. We're in love and have been for eight years. We've tried breaking it off several times over the years, but a force bigger than both of us keeps bringing us back together.

I never believed in soulmates or true love until we met. Our love is deep and unconditional; our roots are intertwined. It's a shame that it happened late in life, but it happened nonetheless.

Neither of us is leaving our spouses or family. We are both in our 50s and sometimes act like we're in our 20s. It's magical!

Is it wrong? Do we go on until something changes? Do we try for the 100th time to break away? An affair, no matter how you slice it, will never be accepted in the eyes of traditional society, so it will be perceived as unacceptable. What's your opinion? -- BEWITCHED, BOTHERED AND BEWILDERED IN NEW YORK

DEAR BB&B: Yes, it's wrong. Yes, you'll probably "go on" until one or both of you gets caught. And yes, you may try to break away -- but somehow I doubt the effort would be completely sincere.

What keeps the torch burning is the excitement of the "forbidden." Legitimizing the relationship would lower the temperature because few people can sustain that level of intensity without eventually burning out.

Your conclusion, however, is a valid one. There is no such thing as a "harmless" affair. What you are doing IS unacceptable and, sadly, when it is discovered, innocent people will be hurt.

DEAR ABBY: I just threw a birthday party for my 8-year-old daughter and invited friends from her class. All the kids were 7 or 8 years old. The party was held at a gymnastics place where there were trampolines, balance beams, etc.

My problem was one mom and dad who dropped off their 8-year-old daughter. When I turned around they had vanished, leaving their 3-year-old daughter, "Holly," for me to take care of.

When the mom returned later to pick up her kids, I told her that Holly had had a really tough time. She had cried constantly because she couldn't do what the older kids were doing, and was, quite honestly, a handful.

The mother offered no explanation or apology, other than to shrug and say that Holly would have cried if they had tried to take her out of there.

Abby, please advise parents of kids who have younger siblings to leave the little ones at home. Not every situation is safe or appropriate for children of all ages, and it puts a huge responsibility on the birthday child's parents to have to baby-sit rather than enjoy the festivities. -- BIRTHDAY BABY SITTER, ACTON, MASS.

DEAR BABY SITTER: Holly's parents did not dump their little girl on you because she would have cried if they had taken her with them. They did it because they are self-centered, had something they preferred to do rather than supervise their 3-year-old, and were too cheap to arrange for a sitter. They were lucky that you were conscientious enough that, in addition to your hosting duties, you were able to prevent their child from injuring herself.

I would say shame on them, but they don't appear to have any.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)