DEAR ABBY: My fiance's brother, "Nate," is going through a separation from his wife of 11 years, "Joanne." Everyone on Nate's side of the family is giving him all the support they can, but they are still very close to his wife. They realize he is an emotional cripple, prone to fits of rage and depression.
In order to save his marriage, Nate agreed to therapy and has been going regularly in the hope of saving the children from the experience of a messy divorce.
Abby, Nate talks about having a "dark side" and often talks about doing physical harm to his wife. He admits that he has not mentioned these feelings to his therapist, which means he is wasting his time there. I would never forgive myself if something should happen to Joanne.
Should I contact her and let her know? She already knows about his potential for violence. Or should I tell his therapist? I do not think their marriage is going to be saved, and when it's finally resolved is the time I fear the most. Any suggestions? -- LOST IN OHIO
DEAR LOST: It appears Nate is not in therapy because he realizes he needs it, but rather to manipulate his wife into continuing an unhappy, potentially violent marriage. It is important that you inform Joanne that Nate has been talking about causing her physical harm and that he is not cooperating fully with his therapist. That way, she can take steps to protect herself -- including discussing it with her attorney and/or the police.