DEAR ABBY: We have a male neighbor I'll call "Flash" who frequently walks out to get his newspaper -- or the mail, or to retrieve something from his car -- while he's as naked as the day he was born. (He's in his late 50s and divorced.) Some of the women in the neighborhood know not to look toward Flash's home if they're out for a walk. They have discovered that he is most likely in the buff, standing at his glass door or sitting at his front office computer with the door open.

Flash is otherwise a likable and helpful neighbor. We do not want to say anything that might destroy that relationship. It's not against the law to be a nudist, or for a woman to go topless in public in this city. However, to see a fella streak to his car is a little surprising and unsettling, even for another adult.

In the normal course of things, he may be spotted in the nude once a week. I can only assume this goes on daily, but thankfully, our paths don't cross more than once a week. Is this something we should be concerned about? -- STARTLED IN AUSTIN, TEXAS

DEAR STARTLED: Yes, it's something you should be concerned about. Your neighbor appears to be an exhibitionist -- someone who gets his kicks from exposing himself. The difference between an exhibitionist and a naturist -- someone who enjoys going to clothing-optional resorts -- is the exhibitionist "flashes" to get sexual pleasure from shocking people. This is not true of the naturist.

The incidents of exposure that you have seen are not accidents. You would be doing your community a favor to photograph Flash in the act and forward the pictures to your local police station. A picture is worth a thousand words, and he may be breaking the laws against indecent exposure.

P.S. If women going topless in public in Austin, Texas, is permissible, it's news to me.

DEAR ABBY: By mutual agreement, my wife and I agreed to take in my sister-in-law "temporarily" to help while she took a work assignment here. It's two years later and she's still here. She is arrogant and distant, and we feel her discontent with putting up with us.

This is our house, and we dread being here because of her presence. How do we ask her to leave? I want to set a deadline, but my wife says she cannot be so cruel. Her mother says her government assistance will be jeopardized if she allows her to move in with her. I am considering selling our house to get rid of her, but I'm afraid she would tag along. -- END OF MY ROPE IN TEXAS

DEAR END OF MY ROPE: The first thing you and your wife need to do is be sure you both agree that "Sissy" should go. If she doesn't, it could spell the end of your marriage.

Once you are in agreement, then the both of you will have to tell your wife's sister that it's time this "temporary" living situation came to an end. Set a date for her to be out, and post it on her bedroom door. It may take the help of a sheriff and a formal eviction to get her out, but if she has a job, she won't be on the streets.

P.S. Do not expect gratitude from her for the shelter you have provided. From your description, she's incapable of it.

DEAR ABBY: I have a co-worker who is always picking at everyone's food. At lunch or at break time, people hurry to eat before "Sam" comes into the lunchroom because he goes around helping himself to everyone's food. He doesn't even ask permission first.

People have told Sam it's all they have, but it doesn't faze him. He just finds a way to joke about it. These employees don't want to speak up because Sam is their supervisor.

Sam also creates a problem for the people in the front office. He goes to the front office every day and takes the candy they set out for customers and fellow employees to enjoy. He fills his pockets full and returns to "visit" several times a day until the candy is gone. This has gone on every single day for the past three years. Human Resources refuses to get involved.

How can I stop this? Sam is my co-worker and friend, and I'm the type of person who cannot hurt his feelings. How should I handle this? -- HUNGRY IN MADISON HEIGHTS, MICH.

DEAR HUNGRY: Sam's behavior is extremely inappropriate, and if he's been pigging out on everyone's candy for three years, I'm surprised his doctor hasn't told him he has to cut back on the sugar and fat.

He will continue this behavior until enough people -- and that includes you -- gather the courage to tell him "NO!" firmly and consistently enough that the message gets through.

As to the employees in the front office, their candy should be kept out of sight in their desk drawers and taken out and offered only to those customers and employees with whom they want to share it.

DEAR ABBY: I am currently a senior in high school and having the time of my life. But with only a couple of months until graduation, I can't get past the fact that this will soon be over, and we'll all go our separate ways.

Everyone's talking about where they're going to college, and how exciting it's going to be when they get there. Everyone except me, that is. I didn't get into the schools I really wanted to go to. I'm just happy being in high school. It's all I ever think about, and I get incredibly depressed thinking, "Oh, this will be our last Easter together," or, "It sucks that this is our last high school prom."

I don't want it to end, and I know the closer graduation comes the more I'm going to get freaked out about it. I try my best to make the most of every day and enjoy it while it lasts, but I'd be a liar if I said I wasn't sad about it. Am I the only one going through this? -- ERIC IN MINNEAPOLIS

DEAR ERIC: Of course you're not. There are big changes coming in the lives of every member of your senior class, and not everyone welcomes change without some degree of anxiety or even sadness. Please don't let these feelings ruin your present.

Although you may not be attending "your college of choice," you will be meeting new people, learning new things -- and who's to say that you can't transfer to another school in your junior year if you apply yourself and do well?

I am sure that if you discuss this with a trusted teacher or school counselor you will be assured that your feelings are typical of many seniors -- and excitement and challenges await you in the months and years to come. That's something to look forward to, not something to be afraid of. Trust me.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I'm writing in response to the letter from "Teresa in Daytona, Fla." (Jan. 14), who said she loves her husband dearly in the daytime, but at night she'd like to file for divorce. She said that the night before she wrote you, she'd had a nightmare that a growling animal was stalking her and awoke to find the noise was coming from him.

The same problem existed in my marriage -- but I was the problem, not my husband. I am a young wife and former snorer who underwent a sleep study at a sleep disorder clinic in order to appease my husband. The data collected from the sleep study led to procedures on my nose, tonsils and tongue that not only cured the snoring, but also improved my overall quality of life. -- QUIET SLEEPER IN SAN FRANCISCO

DEAR QUIET SLEEPER: Bless you for sharing the solution to your problem. The letters I received from readers who identified with "Teresa" and wanted to offer help were varied and enlightening. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: My husband snores so loud that he can be heard from the other side of the house. Sleeping in one of the other bedrooms isn't an option for me simply because, "ahem," we are married.

I have found that disposable 32-decibel earplugs, the kind that are used for shooting handguns and can be found in almost any sporting goods section or store, make for a more peaceful night's rest. (The 32-decibel is the highest range I have found.) They're made of a soft, comfortable foam, are very inexpensive and they have saved me countless sleepless nights and grouchy mornings. -- TAMMY IN CROWLEY, TEXAS

DEAR ABBY: My husband snores like Teresa's. For years I was awakened repeatedly throughout the night. I kept getting sick with colds and flu, which grew more severe. I became less effective at work and almost lost my job.

I now use a hearing protection headset I bought at an industrial safety store. (It's the kind worn by the workers on airport runways while they guide the jet planes to the dock.) Snoring and jet airplane engines are in about the same sound range, and the headset cuts 90 to 95 percent of the noise.

They cost about $60 and take some getting used to, but an added advantage is they also eliminate being awakened by garbage trucks, traffic noise or noisy people in hotel hallways. -- SLEEPING WELL NOW IN STOCKTON

DEAR ABBY: May I offer my two cents to Teresa with the snoring spouse? If he doesn't have sleep apnea, as she says, then he should ask his dentist about a "snore guard."

I have been providing this service to my patients for several years, after making one for my stepfather. My mother suffered for years with his snoring until I made one for him.

The procedure is simple and painless. The dentist takes impressions (or molds) of the patient's teeth and sends them to a laboratory, which then fabricates the guard. It's a clear plastic device that covers the patient's teeth, similar to the ones worn by patients who clench or grind their teeth at night. -- DR. CAROLINE C. IN ILLINOIS

DEAR ABBY: Please tell Teresa to take her husband to a doctor immediately. My husband snored loudly; I thought nothing of it. Then my co-worker's husband died of sleep apnea. I dragged my husband to the doctor, and per the specialists at Stanford Hospital, he had the worst case in recorded medical history. They said it was a miracle he was still alive. Please urge Teresa -- not just advise -- that she run, not walk, her husband to a doctor. -- THANKFUL I DID IN DAVIS, CALIF.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)