DEAR ABBY: My fiance, "Pan," and I have been together nearly two years. We fell in love quickly and knew we wanted to marry one day. We are loving, respectful and kind to each other. Our only source of conflict involves his family.
Pan and his family are Greek; I am American. From the beginning, Pan's father refused to speak to me or acknowledge me because I am not Greek. I am expected to hide from his father and uncles, whether it be in a bedroom, the car outside their house, or in the office at the family business. The rest of the family, his mother, sister and cousins, try to find fault with my character. They say I'm too quiet, too American, too young and not pretty enough.
In the beginning, Pan assured me that "in time" his family would come around. Well, I'm running out of patience. Abby, Pan is 35. I'm 23 -– mature, kind, attractive and hardworking. I have a full-time job and at night I attend classes to earn my master's in clinical psychology.
Three months ago, I bought a home and Pan moved in with me, but this issue with his family is tearing us apart. I no longer want to stay hidden and celebrate holidays alone. I want Pan to stick up for me when his family says bad things. I feel it's time for him to choose sides and stop remaining "neutral" to please a family that's acting ridiculous. Is this the end of the road for us? -- HURTING IN NEW YORK
DEAR HURTING: Frankly, I hope so. Men who are "loving, respectful and kind" do not tolerate their women being treated the way you have been. Face it, this "golden Greek" is 35 and never married. You will never be good enough in his family's eyes for reasons they have made only too clear. My advice is to evict him and run in the opposite direction. If he asks you why, tell him it just didn't "pan" out.