life

Facts of Life for Parents Are Laid Out in Questions

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | January 11th, 2007 | Letter 1 of 2

DEAR ABBY: I just finished reading your list of questions for "Are You Ready for Parenthood?" (12/6). Your advice was fine, if you were addressing a mature adult. To reach a 15-year-old, try this:

"If your child throws up all over your bed, are you or the father going to clean it up, stay up all night with a crying child and then go to work the next day? When the baby is sick, will you cancel your plans with your friends and stay home?

"Will you skip buying clothes or the latest cell phone for yourself because you can barely afford food for your little one? Are you willing to give up your dreams of school or travel because the child you gave birth to will grow up and need shoes, an education or medical care? Are you prepared for when this cute, cuddly infant becomes a screaming 2-year-old?

"If you continue your education, will you have the energy to work and care for a child who totally depends on you for all physical and emotional needs? And, most important of all, can you handle all this alone if suddenly the father decides he's 'not ready' for the responsibility?" -- WAITED TILL I WAS OLD ENOUGH AND GLAD OF IT!

DEAR WAITED: No one could say it more plainly than you have. I received a bushel of mail from readers who, like you, wanted to weigh in on the subject. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: In response to "Nancy in Flagstaff" concerning "Are You Ready for Parenthood?" the question that should be No. 1 is: Are you married? Sex before marriage, though rampant, is still wrong. -- TIM IN LAWTON, OKLA.

DEAR TIM: Sex before marriage may be "wrong," but if my mail is any indication, it's happening. And while having children outside of marriage is not the ideal, the fact remains that folks are doing it and probably will continue -- if the folks in Hollywood are any example. (Where have all the role models gone?)

The fact that more than half the households in America are headed by single parents should be evidence that the old rules -- however valid they were -- are now being ignored. I'd change it if I could, but I have to deal with reality.

DEAR ABBY: Here's my addition to your list: Are you emotionally, physically and financially ready if you have a premature or handicapped baby? I am the parent of a severely handicapped son. His twin sister has ADHD, and by God's grace and just dumb luck, I am handling it well -- so far. -- FLYING SOLO IN SOUTH DAKOTA

DEAR ABBY: Parents need a sense of humor, an infinite amount of patience and thick skin. Children take the longest time eating, using the bathroom, telling a story, asking a question, etc., and there will be many occasions when they will tell you that you are the meanest mommy or daddy or that they hate you. Can you handle it with grace, firmness and patience? -- WISE MOM IN ALABAMA

DEAR ABBY: My question is, Can you provide a safe environment to raise the child? One of the biggest dangers to young children is abuse. Having heard so many stories about young parents shaking babies that won't stop crying -- or worse -- this should be carefully considered before becoming a parent. -- SEEN TOO MUCH IN MICHIGAN

DEAR ABBY: I don't have a question to add to your list. But I would like to share some great advice my aunt gave me when I adopted my daughter. She said, "Just give her your wallet now; it won't be yours ever again!" It's true -- and I wouldn't change it for the world! -- KEVIN IN AKRON

life

Dear Abby for January 11, 2007

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | January 11th, 2007 | Letter 2 of 2

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)

life

Kitchen Is a Bloody Mess After Husband Goes Hunting

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | January 10th, 2007 | Letter 1 of 4

DEAR ABBY: Every year, my husband and brothers-in-law go deer hunting. They always meet at my house for the big hunt. Each year they get sloppier and messier. They leave bloody footprints and pieces of deer carcass through the house and their dirty, smelly clothes in a big pile in the kitchen. They also never wash a dish, plate or utensil they use.

Not only do they kill these creatures and drag them back to my house to clean and cut up, but they also do their "processing" in my small kitchen. Abby, I don't even eat meat! Despite repeated requests that my husband not do this, he continues to turn a deaf ear, claiming that he gets paid to do it by everyone because they don't like going to a meat processor and not getting their stuff for a month or more. Now I know why the black widow eats her mate. Any advice? -- KAY IN ST. JOSEPH, MO.

DEAR KAY: I didn't know the black widow ate her mate. I thought it was the praying mantis -- but only after they had made love. (After all, after so much exertion, a girl could use a "pick-me-up.")

My advice is to practice a little self-defense. When the next hunting party is planned, schedule a nice vacation for yourself -- perhaps visiting family or a warmer climate? And make it plain to your husband that you will be back only after he has made sure the house is spotless.

If the job is too much for him and the brothers-in-law, then he should hire a professional cleaning crew to do it. After all, he can't claim poverty. Because he's being paid for all the meat processing, he should be well able to afford the cost.

P.S. A helpful suggestion: If a regular cleaning crew refuses the job, he should check into a company that cleans up crime scenes.

life

Dear Abby for January 10, 2007

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | January 10th, 2007 | Letter 2 of 4

DEAR ABBY: I will make this short. I am dating this guy I'll call "Rex," who my sister went to the prom with more than 35 years ago. She has since married and has family. I knew they had been to the prom together, but nothing ever came up about them seriously dating.

When Rex and I started dating, I asked my sister if it was all right. She said there was no problem, and it was my decision. Now she hates me and has called me every name in the book. She says it's wrong. I'm confused -- have I done something wrong? -- STUCK IN FREEPORT, TEXAS

DEAR STUCK: You have done nothing wrong. Your sister appears to be an unhappy soul who wants to lessen her frustration with her own life by blaming you. If her relationship with Rex was meant to be, something would have ensued during the 35 years after the prom.

You were generous to ask her permission first, but from my perspective, it was unnecessary. You deserve to be happy and so does Rex. Stop being so dependent on your sister's approval and live your life.

life

Dear Abby for January 10, 2007

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | January 10th, 2007 | Letter 3 of 4

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend has a hard time in social situations. He dislikes people in general and needs a lot of alone time.

I am the complete opposite. I need a circle of friends around me in order to be happy. How do we find a balance between the two? -- CLARA IN CHICAGO

DEAR CLARA: It may not be easy. I find it unlikely that someone who "dislikes people in general," "has a hard time in social situations" and is basically a loner will change. My question to you would be, how much are you willing to compromise, and would you be comfortable socializing alone?

life

Dear Abby for January 10, 2007

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | January 10th, 2007 | Letter 4 of 4

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

life

So What's in a Name? In This Case, Chuckles

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | January 9th, 2007 | Letter 1 of 2

DEAR READERS: Mail keeps arriving regarding names that match occupations. My staff and I have been having a wonderful time reading it, and I would love to share more with you. So, if you're up for a chuckle, read on. (If not, just go back to the national news.)

DEAR ABBY: When I saw the letter about Miss Hunger, the dietitian at Stout University, I had to write. My father was born in Menomonie, Wis., where Stout is located, and later taught there. He used to tell me about a law firm there called Ketchum and Cheatum. Also, he had a high school classmate named Iva Liver. -- ANN H., COLUMBUS, OHIO

DEAR ABBY: Years ago, I interviewed an attorney who was supposed to handle an important matter for me. His name: Rex R. Case. (Needless to say, I did not hire him!) -- LINDA, N.J.

DEAR ABBY: The day your column on funny names appeared, I had a good laugh and then began reading the front section of the paper, where I encountered the following. It's from The Associated Press with a byline of Lauran Neergard, which I am enclosing. It's titled "Circumcision of African men can cut HIV risk by half." The physician quoted from the World Health Organization is Dr. Kevin De Cock. I could not believe the two articles appeared in the same newspaper on the same day. -- BONNIE IN WABASH, IND.

DEAR ABBY: For many years the Internal Revenue supervisor in Oklahoma City was "I.M. Filer." -- ANONYMOUS IN OKLAHOMA

DEAR ABBY: My sister lives in Williamsville, N.Y. (near Buffalo), where there is a funeral home that seems nothing out of the ordinary, except for the name: Amigone Funeral Home. (Am I Gone.) True! Look them up -- they're in the phone book! -- ALAINE IN JAMESTOWN, N.Y.

DEAR ABBY: Here in Anchorage, Alaska, we have a dentist named Dr. Phil Wright. -- VERN S., ANCHORAGE

DEAR ABBY: I have two names for you. My daughter's pediatrician is Dr. LeFevere, and my former priest's was Father O'Pray. -- STEPHANIE IN BLOOMINGTON, MINN.

DEAR ABBY: When I first moved here, I was looking for a new ob/gyn and came across a listing for a Dr. C. (Cynthia, I believe) Hymen. -- MEGAN IN STRATFORD, CONN.

DEAR ABBY: A few years ago I needed minor surgery and went to the VA hospital in Palo Alto. The young female anesthetist was a novice named Mallet. Try as she might, she could not find a vein -- and when I took the "Mallet by the handle" and told her if she couldn't find a vein she should use a mallet, she didn't crack a smile. -- EARL C., MANTECA, CALIF.

DEAR ABBY: I once met a liquor salesman named Casey Sause. -- PAMELA IN BATON ROUGE, LA.

DEAR ABBY: I have diabetes and see a dietitian and a diabetes educator. Their last names are Short and Stout. I'm sure they never hear the end of it. -- NANCY IN NOBLESVILLE, IND.

DEAR ABBY: Linda Toots taught flute at Tanglewood! -- PEGGY B., CHICAGO

DEAR ABBY: There's a nudist colony in northern New Jersey that is owned by a Dr. Lust. -- ADRIAN IN PRINCETOWN, N.J.

DEAR ABBY: Years ago, here in Fort Worth, Texas, we had a doctor named Dr. Rumph. His specialty? Proctology, of course! -- HAD TO LAUGH IN FORT WORTH

life

Dear Abby for January 09, 2007

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | January 9th, 2007 | Letter 2 of 2

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

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