DEAR ABBY: Every year, my husband and brothers-in-law go deer hunting. They always meet at my house for the big hunt. Each year they get sloppier and messier. They leave bloody footprints and pieces of deer carcass through the house and their dirty, smelly clothes in a big pile in the kitchen. They also never wash a dish, plate or utensil they use.

Not only do they kill these creatures and drag them back to my house to clean and cut up, but they also do their "processing" in my small kitchen. Abby, I don't even eat meat! Despite repeated requests that my husband not do this, he continues to turn a deaf ear, claiming that he gets paid to do it by everyone because they don't like going to a meat processor and not getting their stuff for a month or more. Now I know why the black widow eats her mate. Any advice? -- KAY IN ST. JOSEPH, MO.

DEAR KAY: I didn't know the black widow ate her mate. I thought it was the praying mantis -- but only after they had made love. (After all, after so much exertion, a girl could use a "pick-me-up.")

My advice is to practice a little self-defense. When the next hunting party is planned, schedule a nice vacation for yourself -- perhaps visiting family or a warmer climate? And make it plain to your husband that you will be back only after he has made sure the house is spotless.

If the job is too much for him and the brothers-in-law, then he should hire a professional cleaning crew to do it. After all, he can't claim poverty. Because he's being paid for all the meat processing, he should be well able to afford the cost.

P.S. A helpful suggestion: If a regular cleaning crew refuses the job, he should check into a company that cleans up crime scenes.

DEAR ABBY: I will make this short. I am dating this guy I'll call "Rex," who my sister went to the prom with more than 35 years ago. She has since married and has family. I knew they had been to the prom together, but nothing ever came up about them seriously dating.

When Rex and I started dating, I asked my sister if it was all right. She said there was no problem, and it was my decision. Now she hates me and has called me every name in the book. She says it's wrong. I'm confused -- have I done something wrong? -- STUCK IN FREEPORT, TEXAS

DEAR STUCK: You have done nothing wrong. Your sister appears to be an unhappy soul who wants to lessen her frustration with her own life by blaming you. If her relationship with Rex was meant to be, something would have ensued during the 35 years after the prom.

You were generous to ask her permission first, but from my perspective, it was unnecessary. You deserve to be happy and so does Rex. Stop being so dependent on your sister's approval and live your life.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend has a hard time in social situations. He dislikes people in general and needs a lot of alone time.

I am the complete opposite. I need a circle of friends around me in order to be happy. How do we find a balance between the two? -- CLARA IN CHICAGO

DEAR CLARA: It may not be easy. I find it unlikely that someone who "dislikes people in general," "has a hard time in social situations" and is basically a loner will change. My question to you would be, how much are you willing to compromise, and would you be comfortable socializing alone?

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR READERS: Mail keeps arriving regarding names that match occupations. My staff and I have been having a wonderful time reading it, and I would love to share more with you. So, if you're up for a chuckle, read on. (If not, just go back to the national news.)

DEAR ABBY: When I saw the letter about Miss Hunger, the dietitian at Stout University, I had to write. My father was born in Menomonie, Wis., where Stout is located, and later taught there. He used to tell me about a law firm there called Ketchum and Cheatum. Also, he had a high school classmate named Iva Liver. -- ANN H., COLUMBUS, OHIO

DEAR ABBY: Years ago, I interviewed an attorney who was supposed to handle an important matter for me. His name: Rex R. Case. (Needless to say, I did not hire him!) -- LINDA, N.J.

DEAR ABBY: The day your column on funny names appeared, I had a good laugh and then began reading the front section of the paper, where I encountered the following. It's from The Associated Press with a byline of Lauran Neergard, which I am enclosing. It's titled "Circumcision of African men can cut HIV risk by half." The physician quoted from the World Health Organization is Dr. Kevin De Cock. I could not believe the two articles appeared in the same newspaper on the same day. -- BONNIE IN WABASH, IND.

DEAR ABBY: For many years the Internal Revenue supervisor in Oklahoma City was "I.M. Filer." -- ANONYMOUS IN OKLAHOMA

DEAR ABBY: My sister lives in Williamsville, N.Y. (near Buffalo), where there is a funeral home that seems nothing out of the ordinary, except for the name: Amigone Funeral Home. (Am I Gone.) True! Look them up -- they're in the phone book! -- ALAINE IN JAMESTOWN, N.Y.

DEAR ABBY: Here in Anchorage, Alaska, we have a dentist named Dr. Phil Wright. -- VERN S., ANCHORAGE

DEAR ABBY: I have two names for you. My daughter's pediatrician is Dr. LeFevere, and my former priest's was Father O'Pray. -- STEPHANIE IN BLOOMINGTON, MINN.

DEAR ABBY: When I first moved here, I was looking for a new ob/gyn and came across a listing for a Dr. C. (Cynthia, I believe) Hymen. -- MEGAN IN STRATFORD, CONN.

DEAR ABBY: A few years ago I needed minor surgery and went to the VA hospital in Palo Alto. The young female anesthetist was a novice named Mallet. Try as she might, she could not find a vein -- and when I took the "Mallet by the handle" and told her if she couldn't find a vein she should use a mallet, she didn't crack a smile. -- EARL C., MANTECA, CALIF.

DEAR ABBY: I once met a liquor salesman named Casey Sause. -- PAMELA IN BATON ROUGE, LA.

DEAR ABBY: I have diabetes and see a dietitian and a diabetes educator. Their last names are Short and Stout. I'm sure they never hear the end of it. -- NANCY IN NOBLESVILLE, IND.

DEAR ABBY: Linda Toots taught flute at Tanglewood! -- PEGGY B., CHICAGO

DEAR ABBY: There's a nudist colony in northern New Jersey that is owned by a Dr. Lust. -- ADRIAN IN PRINCETOWN, N.J.

DEAR ABBY: Years ago, here in Fort Worth, Texas, we had a doctor named Dr. Rumph. His specialty? Proctology, of course! -- HAD TO LAUGH IN FORT WORTH

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I am in dire need of your help. I have four brothers and one sister. My oldest brother stays with his girlfriend. My sister stays out of town. My second-oldest brother goes to college during the week and comes home on weekends. This leaves me, my third-oldest brother and my little brother at home.

We have certain chores that have to be done when we get home from school, and they must be completed before Mom comes home. The problem is, my third-oldest brother goes up the street and my little brother goes somewhere else, leaving me at home to do all the work.

When Mom gets home and the work isn't done, she blames me, even though there are two more people here that could have helped me. Abby, please tell my mother that if three people are meant to do chores, she shouldn't blame just me! -- MAD AND CONFUSED SISTER, BIRMINGHAM, ALA.

DEAR MAD AND CONFUSED: Please clip this column and share it with your mother. It's unfair that your brothers run off, leaving you with all the chores, while your mother chooses to ignore their lack of responsibility. She should make a chart that defines specifically which jobs are to be done by each member of the household and when. And if the chores are not completed when your mother gets home, the guilty parties should be reprimanded -- not you. To do otherwise shows sexist and antiquated logic.

DEAR ABBY: I need advice about visiting a person who is going into hospice care with terminal cancer. I know this woman socially. We've always been cordial, but I am not a close friend.

What is the most comforting approach? After, "I'm sorry you're sick," I am not sure how to proceed. -- WANTS TO REACH OUT IN BOULDER

DEAR WANTS TO REACH OUT: There is some confusion about hospice. Some people think hospice is a place, but it is really a program. In other words, people can be "in hospice care" at home.

I recommend you give your friend a call, ask if she's "in the mood" for company, and if there is anything you can bring with you on your visit. (Most people in hospice care are no longer worried about their figures. She might welcome a box of candy or her favorite ice cream.)

When you see her, tell her how sorry you are that she's ill -- and go armed with all the latest gossip, too. What's most important is not to hang crepe. Treat her as you always have. She may be dying, but there's life in the lady yet. Remember that, and I'm sure your visit will be rewarding for both of you.

DEAR ABBY: I have just been invited to my third "grandma-to-be" baby shower. I am disgusted by this trend, especially knowing the mother-to-be has had three baby showers already (a family one, a friends one and a work one).

Have you heard of this, and what are your thoughts about "grandma" baby showers? Please do not reveal my name or location. -- ASKANCE IN THE U.S.A.

DEAR ASKANCE: If the grandmother will be doing a lot of baby-sitting and cannot afford the equipment she'll need, then I can see why there might be a shower. But frankly, I have never heard of a "grandma-to-be" shower, and the idea strikes me as somewhat excessive.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)