DEAR ABBY: Every year, my husband and brothers-in-law go deer hunting. They always meet at my house for the big hunt. Each year they get sloppier and messier. They leave bloody footprints and pieces of deer carcass through the house and their dirty, smelly clothes in a big pile in the kitchen. They also never wash a dish, plate or utensil they use.
Not only do they kill these creatures and drag them back to my house to clean and cut up, but they also do their "processing" in my small kitchen. Abby, I don't even eat meat! Despite repeated requests that my husband not do this, he continues to turn a deaf ear, claiming that he gets paid to do it by everyone because they don't like going to a meat processor and not getting their stuff for a month or more. Now I know why the black widow eats her mate. Any advice? -- KAY IN ST. JOSEPH, MO.
DEAR KAY: I didn't know the black widow ate her mate. I thought it was the praying mantis -- but only after they had made love. (After all, after so much exertion, a girl could use a "pick-me-up.")
My advice is to practice a little self-defense. When the next hunting party is planned, schedule a nice vacation for yourself -- perhaps visiting family or a warmer climate? And make it plain to your husband that you will be back only after he has made sure the house is spotless.
If the job is too much for him and the brothers-in-law, then he should hire a professional cleaning crew to do it. After all, he can't claim poverty. Because he's being paid for all the meat processing, he should be well able to afford the cost.
P.S. A helpful suggestion: If a regular cleaning crew refuses the job, he should check into a company that cleans up crime scenes.