life

So What's in a Name? In This Case, Chuckles

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | January 9th, 2007 | Letter 1 of 2

DEAR READERS: Mail keeps arriving regarding names that match occupations. My staff and I have been having a wonderful time reading it, and I would love to share more with you. So, if you're up for a chuckle, read on. (If not, just go back to the national news.)

DEAR ABBY: When I saw the letter about Miss Hunger, the dietitian at Stout University, I had to write. My father was born in Menomonie, Wis., where Stout is located, and later taught there. He used to tell me about a law firm there called Ketchum and Cheatum. Also, he had a high school classmate named Iva Liver. -- ANN H., COLUMBUS, OHIO

DEAR ABBY: Years ago, I interviewed an attorney who was supposed to handle an important matter for me. His name: Rex R. Case. (Needless to say, I did not hire him!) -- LINDA, N.J.

DEAR ABBY: The day your column on funny names appeared, I had a good laugh and then began reading the front section of the paper, where I encountered the following. It's from The Associated Press with a byline of Lauran Neergard, which I am enclosing. It's titled "Circumcision of African men can cut HIV risk by half." The physician quoted from the World Health Organization is Dr. Kevin De Cock. I could not believe the two articles appeared in the same newspaper on the same day. -- BONNIE IN WABASH, IND.

DEAR ABBY: For many years the Internal Revenue supervisor in Oklahoma City was "I.M. Filer." -- ANONYMOUS IN OKLAHOMA

DEAR ABBY: My sister lives in Williamsville, N.Y. (near Buffalo), where there is a funeral home that seems nothing out of the ordinary, except for the name: Amigone Funeral Home. (Am I Gone.) True! Look them up -- they're in the phone book! -- ALAINE IN JAMESTOWN, N.Y.

DEAR ABBY: Here in Anchorage, Alaska, we have a dentist named Dr. Phil Wright. -- VERN S., ANCHORAGE

DEAR ABBY: I have two names for you. My daughter's pediatrician is Dr. LeFevere, and my former priest's was Father O'Pray. -- STEPHANIE IN BLOOMINGTON, MINN.

DEAR ABBY: When I first moved here, I was looking for a new ob/gyn and came across a listing for a Dr. C. (Cynthia, I believe) Hymen. -- MEGAN IN STRATFORD, CONN.

DEAR ABBY: A few years ago I needed minor surgery and went to the VA hospital in Palo Alto. The young female anesthetist was a novice named Mallet. Try as she might, she could not find a vein -- and when I took the "Mallet by the handle" and told her if she couldn't find a vein she should use a mallet, she didn't crack a smile. -- EARL C., MANTECA, CALIF.

DEAR ABBY: I once met a liquor salesman named Casey Sause. -- PAMELA IN BATON ROUGE, LA.

DEAR ABBY: I have diabetes and see a dietitian and a diabetes educator. Their last names are Short and Stout. I'm sure they never hear the end of it. -- NANCY IN NOBLESVILLE, IND.

DEAR ABBY: Linda Toots taught flute at Tanglewood! -- PEGGY B., CHICAGO

DEAR ABBY: There's a nudist colony in northern New Jersey that is owned by a Dr. Lust. -- ADRIAN IN PRINCETOWN, N.J.

DEAR ABBY: Years ago, here in Fort Worth, Texas, we had a doctor named Dr. Rumph. His specialty? Proctology, of course! -- HAD TO LAUGH IN FORT WORTH

life

Dear Abby for January 09, 2007

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | January 9th, 2007 | Letter 2 of 2

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

life

Sister Protests When Brothers Shirk Their Assigned Chores

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | January 8th, 2007 | Letter 1 of 4

DEAR ABBY: I am in dire need of your help. I have four brothers and one sister. My oldest brother stays with his girlfriend. My sister stays out of town. My second-oldest brother goes to college during the week and comes home on weekends. This leaves me, my third-oldest brother and my little brother at home.

We have certain chores that have to be done when we get home from school, and they must be completed before Mom comes home. The problem is, my third-oldest brother goes up the street and my little brother goes somewhere else, leaving me at home to do all the work.

When Mom gets home and the work isn't done, she blames me, even though there are two more people here that could have helped me. Abby, please tell my mother that if three people are meant to do chores, she shouldn't blame just me! -- MAD AND CONFUSED SISTER, BIRMINGHAM, ALA.

DEAR MAD AND CONFUSED: Please clip this column and share it with your mother. It's unfair that your brothers run off, leaving you with all the chores, while your mother chooses to ignore their lack of responsibility. She should make a chart that defines specifically which jobs are to be done by each member of the household and when. And if the chores are not completed when your mother gets home, the guilty parties should be reprimanded -- not you. To do otherwise shows sexist and antiquated logic.

life

Dear Abby for January 08, 2007

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | January 8th, 2007 | Letter 2 of 4

DEAR ABBY: I have just been invited to my third "grandma-to-be" baby shower. I am disgusted by this trend, especially knowing the mother-to-be has had three baby showers already (a family one, a friends one and a work one).

Have you heard of this, and what are your thoughts about "grandma" baby showers? Please do not reveal my name or location. -- ASKANCE IN THE U.S.A.

DEAR ASKANCE: If the grandmother will be doing a lot of baby-sitting and cannot afford the equipment she'll need, then I can see why there might be a shower. But frankly, I have never heard of a "grandma-to-be" shower, and the idea strikes me as somewhat excessive.

life

Dear Abby for January 08, 2007

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | January 8th, 2007 | Letter 3 of 4

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

life

Dear Abby for January 08, 2007

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | January 8th, 2007 | Letter 4 of 4
life

Transsexual Talking Marriage Owes Boyfriend the Whole Truth

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | January 7th, 2007 | Letter 1 of 4

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend of two years, "Marc," has been talking a lot about marriage lately. I love him and want to spend the rest of my life with him. There is, however, one fly in the ointment: I was born a biological male.

I have never felt like a man, Abby. I have lived as a woman since high school, and when I was 25, underwent surgery to change my sex. I have never regretted my decision and, up until now, my family has always been supportive.

As I have always been a woman in every way that matters, I have never seen any reason to tell any man I've dated that I was born with male genitalia. My brother recently asked me if I had told Marc about my surgery and was shocked to learn that I had not.

He implored me to tell Marc, but I feel that my past is completely irrelevant to our relationship today. My brother thinks that I am obligated to confess to Marc, and he has threatened to tell him if I don't.

Marc loves me very much and would support me no matter what, but I have left my past behind me, and I feel no reason to needlessly disturb our relationship. How do I convince my brother to let this go? -- AT A LOSS IN NEW YORK

DEAR AT A LOSS: Although you may not think that the fact that you are a transsexual is relevant, it is presumptuous to think that you can speak for Marc. He needs to know the whole truth, and to keep it from him could constitute fraud. You did not mention whether he is planning on having children with you, and, loving him as you do, you need to be fair to him.

A marriage that is based on a lie is no marriage at all. It would always hang over you, and surely there are many others besides your brother who know about your sex change. My advice is to tell Marc everything before someone else does. Your future with him could depend upon his hearing the news from you -- and nobody else but you.

life

Dear Abby for January 07, 2007

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | January 7th, 2007 | Letter 2 of 4

DEAR ABBY: I have read your column since I was in high school, and I want to share with you the results of one of your columns from the past.

I remember reading on Mother's and Father's Day that the best way to honor your parents is to write them a letter telling them why you love them. My father passed away suddenly last week from a heart attack. He was 59 years old. My father had saved a letter that I wrote him in 1996 telling him why I loved him, which I found late last week. I read it at the memorial service as a tribute to what a wonderful person and parent he was.

I want to thank you for that advice, Abby, as reading that letter was the most difficult thing I have ever done. However, it was the best way possible to honor my father. -- JIM R., PLEASANT HILL, CALIF.

DEAR JIM: Please accept my deepest sympathy for the unexpected loss of your father. Thank you for writing to reinforce for me and my readers the importance of saying what is in our hearts while the people we love are still around and able to understand what we are saying. Carpe diem!

life

Dear Abby for January 07, 2007

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | January 7th, 2007 | Letter 3 of 4

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I spent a long weekend at a hotel with a number of other friends and acquaintances. I found out later that he had allowed one of his male friends to use our room for a tryst with someone else's wife.

Should I continue to trust a man who would aid and abet another couple in committing adultery? -- WONDERING IN MOBILE, ALA.

DEAR WONDERING: Wonder no more. A husband who would turn his hotel room over to another man so that man could engage in illicit sex would have no hesitation about asking for the favor to be returned.

(P.S. I hope they were considerate enough to have had the sheets and linens changed afterward.)

life

Dear Abby for January 07, 2007

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | January 7th, 2007 | Letter 4 of 4

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

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