DEAR ABBY: My husband returned from Iraq a few days ago, and, of course, my parents wanted to talk to him. Well, when they called, Dad and Mom both made off-color comments to me about our sex life. They always want to joke about it, but I never do. It's none of their business.

I don't discuss my sex life even with my closest female friend. I believe sex is something that is private between a husband and wife. My husband is the only man I have ever slept with.

My parents, especially my father, always have some kind of dirty joke or question about our relationship when I go home to visit, and I am tired of it. They are easily insulted and angered, especially my father (who once thought it would be funny to accuse me of hopping into bed with my husband the first chance I got while we were dating), so I can't just say, "I don't like those jokes -- stop it!" What can I do? It always makes for an embarrassing moment. -- EMBARRASSED IN TENNESSEE

DEAR EMBARRASSED: To paraphrase an old saying, "Those who can, do; those who can't, talk about it." Your parents may be trying to show you how "with it" they are by making these comments. Or your father may have always had an unhealthy preoccupation with your sex life.

They have no business asking you personal questions about it. Therefore, there is nothing wrong with telling them it makes you "uncomfortable" and you want it stopped. And if they take offense -- so be it. Let them sulk.

DEAR ABBY: I have been in construction since I was 19. I'm 47 now. I want to know, what makes a man lose his courage?

I started my own business two years ago, and since then I have been doing mostly interior work -- remodeling kitchens, bathrooms, hanging doors, etc. My most recent job is a second-story add-on, and while I have been working on it I have found myself nervous about heights.

I have never been afraid of heights before, but I was uneasy walking the walls and working off a ladder. I have never felt like this before. It's kind of embarrassing. My guys tease me, but I laugh it off.

Am I just getting older (which I don't want to admit) or out of practice? I'm not losing sleep over this, just wondering why. -- "VINCE" IN VALLEJO, CALIF.

DEAR "VINCE": It could be that you are out of practice, or it could be something else. I am a firm believer in intuition, and if yours is telling you that you should avoid heights, it could be that your sense of balance is "off."

My advice is to schedule a physical exam with your doctor and discuss this change in your normal pattern of behavior. There could be a physical reason for your sudden anxiety about heights, and you should not ignore it.

DEAR ABBY: How do I get my husband to pick up his belongings? His shoes, jewelry, and all sorts of items of clothing are spread all over the house. I'm afraid if I keep "reminding" him, I'll come across as a mother figure. -- TERRY IN HOUSTON

DEAR TERRY: Leave everything where it is, and when your husband starts asking you where his shoes, jewelry and other items of clothing are, tell him they are right where he left them. Once you begin picking them up and putting them away, he will expect you to continue for the rest of your life.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I am writing in response to the Nov. 20 letter from the computer-illiterate parents whose sons, 12 and 13, are spending hours "locked in their room" with their computer.

It is time for parents to get educated on the ins and outs of the Internet. I'm a computer tech who has researched Internet safety extensively. Not only do predators stalk the social networking sites and chat rooms, but children can be exposed to cyber-bullying and inappropriate materials as well. Example: One of my friends caught her 15-year-old son watching a 14-year-old girl perform a striptease over a live video chat.

No child should have a computer in the bedroom. It should be located in a common area where there is no privacy. There are numerous organizations like i-Safe (� HYPERLINK "http://www.isafe.org" ��www.isafe.org�) and CyberAngels (� HYPERLINK "http://www.cyberangels.org" ��www.cyberangels.org�) available to help out. -- AARON IN ST. LOUIS

DEAR AARON: Thank you for not only lending your expert opinion, but also for mentioning some organizations that can be helpful to parents. The Internet has become a vast hunting ground for predators, and pedophiles frequently find new prey using it. And they are not the only predators out there. As you mentioned regarding the 14-year-old girl, some teens are also looking for sexual conquests. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: The parents who were told their boys "couldn't be looking at pornography" unless they had a credit card -- which they didn't -- were seriously misinformed.

Touch the wrong key on your new computer and disastrous things happen. Many times I have had to call my son to come over and return my screen to normal. Sometimes the computer will not even let me turn it off! I have two friends who complain about the same problems.

In addition, my brother-in-law says he never heard my sister swear until she got her new computer. It seems that the new generation of MACs and PCs are designed chiefly for the technologically elite -- which most of us are not. -- R.H., PROFESSOR EMERITUS, UNIVERSITY OF MINNESOTA

DEAR R.H.: If the new generation of MACs and PCs are difficult for intelligent folks to master, then the logical answer is to sign up for computer classes, which are offered by public libraries and some high schools and community colleges. It's either that or instructional CDs, or hiring a computer whiz to give you private lessons.

Children today learn to operate computers from earliest grade school and are completely proficient. If parents are not computer-literate, then they should be sure their computer is in plain view while it's being used by the children.

Computers are wonderful tools, but they can also be "open windows" to -- and from -- the outside of your home. It's only common sense to supervise with whom your child is interacting and who has access to your child.

DEAR ABBY: I am 14 and, trust me, those boys probably are looking at pornography. I'd say the odds are about 8-to-1. You don't need a credit card. Sites offer previews, or "free tours" of the site, and other sites are totally free.

Also, no offense to your advice, but the "history" can easily be cleared. I'm 14, and I can clear every site I have visited in a matter of seconds.

I'd suggest they install something like Net Nanny on their hard drive and not tell the kids. -- HOPEFULLY HELPFUL, GREENE COUNTY, TENN.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR READERS: Rise and shine, my friends, and welcome a brand-new year! This is our chance for a new beginning. It is the day we discard destructive old habits for healthy new ones. With that in mind, I am printing Dear Abby's often-requested list of New Year's resolutions -- adapted by my mother from the original credo of Al-Anon.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will live through this day only. I will not brood about yesterday or obsess about tomorrow. I will not set far-reaching goals or try to overcome all of my problems at once.

I know that I can do something for 24 hours that would overwhelm me if I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will be happy. I will not dwell on thoughts that depress me. If my mind fills with clouds, I will chase them away and fill it with sunshine.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will accept what is. I will face reality. I will correct those things I can correct, and accept those I cannot.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will improve my mind. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration. I will not be a mental loafer.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will make a conscious effort to be agreeable. I will be kind and courteous to those who cross my path, and I'll not speak ill of others. I will improve my appearance, speak softly, and not interrupt when someone else is talking.

Just for today, I will refrain from improving anybody but myself.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will do something positive to improve my health. If I'm a smoker, I'll quit. If I am overweight, I will eat healthfully -- if only just for today. And not only that, I will get off the couch and take a brisk walk, even if it's only around the block.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will gather the courage to do what is right and take responsibility for my own actions.

And now, Dear Readers, I would like to share an item that was sent to me by I.J. Bhatia, who lives in New Delhi, India:

"DEAR ABBY: This year, no resolutions, only some guidelines. The Holy Vedas say, 'Man has subjected himself to thousands of self-inflicted bondages. Wisdom comes to a man who lives according to the true eternal laws of nature.'

"The following prayer of Saint Francis contains a powerful message:

"'Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.

"'Where there is hatred, let me sow love;

"'Where there is injury, pardon;

"'Where there is doubt, faith.

"'Where there is despair, hope;

"'Where there is darkness, light;

"'Where there is sadness, joy.

"'O Divine Master, grant that I may not as much seek to be consoled as to console;

"'To be loved as to love.

"'For it is in giving that we are pardoned;

"'It is in dying that we are born to eternal life."

May we finally find peace and joy in this New Year. To one and all, a happy, healthy and prosperous 2007. -- Love, Abby.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)