DEAR ABBY: I was widowed last spring, and I'm still not over the shock of what happened at my late husband "Jason's" visitation at the funeral home.
I was his second wife. Imagine my devastation when my darling husband of less than three years died only 90 days after being diagnosed with cancer. Jason had been separated and divorced from his first wife, "Carole," for many years before we were married, and had two adult children from that marriage.
On the morning of Jason's visitation, I went to the funeral home and made sure the casket spray, guestbook and a few family photos of all of us were arranged before going home to shower and change.
When I returned to the funeral home, I was confronted by Carole, who was greeting the visitors as if she were the widow -- wearing red cowboy boots, no less. If that weren't enough, she had put up a display with photos of herself and Jason, storyboards, etc. and was acting as if they had never divorced. I was mortified by her behavior, but did not want to cause a scene in that setting.
Finally, after four hours, the funeral director and a friend escorted Carole outside and told her it was time for the wife to be alone with the body. Was it the funeral director's responsibility to take care of this, or should Jason's children have corrected their mother's behavior? -- HURT IN THE SOUTH
DEAR HURT: The right person finally took action. It was up to the funeral director to see to it that the visitation was carried out to your satisfaction. And, embarrassed and grieving as you were, you should have approached the funeral director and asked that the former wife's performance be "canceled" as soon as it began.