DEAR ABBY: I am writing to you as a last resort. I have been married for 13 years to a man who does not communicate, to say the least. I have begged, pleaded, fought and waited for him to talk about something other than his children.

Now I have met a man who is divorced, and we have wonderful conversations. There is nothing more to it than conversation at this point.

My question is, if lack of communication is the only thing wrong in a marriage, is it enough of a reason to end a marriage? I was always brought up to "hang in there" and make it work at all costs. I am at my wit's end. -- JUST WANTING TO TALK, WOODBURY, MINN.

DEAR JUST WANTING TO TALK: The "only thing wrong" in your marriage is the foundation of what a healthy marriage is built upon. When couples can't communicate, it usually poisons the rest of the relationship.

Before you invest any more of yourself in the divorced man, it's important that you and your husband get counseling from a licensed marriage and family therapist. Consider it a "hail Mary" pass at saving your marriage. I'm crossing my fingers that counseling will open the channel of communication between you and your spouse. If it doesn't, then you will have to decide how much longer you can live in intellectual and emotional isolation.

DEAR ABBY: I know an older couple who seem to have an intractable problem. The wife, who now works part time, pursued painting as a hobby for many years. Her husband does not like her paintings. Almost every time I talk to him, he complains about the "junk" that his wife refuses to get rid of.

I have suggested that he give her one room of the house (there is a spare bedroom) to do with as she wishes -- store her "junk," display her paintings, etc. He refuses, fearing it will become so cluttered that it won't be usable for overnight guests.

They rented a storage locker for several months, but the wife missed her things and brought them back. Their arguments have brought them to the brink of divorce. Have you any words of advice? Mine seem to fall on deaf ears. -- ANONYMOUS IN NEW MEXICO

DEAR ANONYMOUS: When words of advice seem to fall on deaf ears, it may be because the complainer would rather vent than listen. Offer one more bit of advice: If they have a garage, panel it and display the paintings in there -- and possibly store some of the "junk" there, too -- in cabinets, of course. After that, stay out of it.

DEAR ABBY: My friend, "Sarah," has been considering becoming a nun. She found Jesus in the summer of 2003 and converted from Judaism to Christianity. She seems passionate about her beliefs, and I support her 100 percent.

When Sarah and I were in our teens, she was in a car accident that led to the death of a young man. Although charges were never brought up, it was manslaughter, and I think she still feels guilty about it.

Do I need to report this incident to her clergy? Would this prevent her from being able to become a nun? -- SYLVIA IN SAN FRANCISCO

DEAR SYLVIA: I see no reason for you to "report" anything to your friend's clergyperson. Whatever confessing Sarah needed to do, she did when she converted to Christianity. As for its preventing her from becoming a nun, I see no reason why it would should. It might make her a better nun.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)

DEAR ABBY: I am extremely shaken by a recent experience, and I want to share this with other parents who may one day find themselves in a similar situation. My daughter, "Mary," is almost 18 and in the 12th grade. We have always had a close relationship. She has always come to me to talk about what's going on in her life -- friends, crushes, school, just about everything.

A few months ago, Mary told me about a terrible situation concerning one of her classmates. "Jill" had just learned that she was pregnant and was frantic. She told Mary that she couldn't tell her parents because she was afraid of a violent reaction.

Mary was so worried about Jill that she came to me for help. After hearing the story, I encouraged my daughter to tell Jill to talk to her parents. I never imagined what would happen next.

I knew from things Mary had said that Jill's parents were hard on her, but I didn't know the extent of her problems at home. When Jill took my advice and told her parents she was pregnant, her father beat her so badly she ended up in the hospital and lost the baby.

Abby, you can't imagine how terrible I feel about this. Jill will never be the same, and I feel I am to blame. I wish I had known how to protect her from a dangerous and violent situation at home.

I hope you will share this letter with other concerned parents and give your thoughts on this heart-wrenching problem. -- SHOCKED AND SADDENED IN SHERMAN OAKS, CALIF.

DEAR SHOCKED: Please stop being so hard on yourself. You advised your daughter's friend to do what most other parents would have. What you failed to take into consideration was the fact that many teens live in homes where there is violence, abuse, drug problems and incest.

A year ago here in California, there was an attempt to legislate "parental notification" into law. Fortunately, it was voted down. It's teens like your daughter's friend who would have been harmed by this kind of law. They certainly cannot go to their parents -- and I have never believed that the law can successfully force this kind of communication with the home.

Of course parents want their children -- regardless of age -- to come to them if there is a crisis. And I am told that seven out of 10 teens who find themselves pregnant do exactly that. However, those who don't usually have a good reason for not doing so. Teens like the girl in your letter need counseling and care, not laws forcing them to face abusive parents. I'm glad you wrote to me. Your sad story is a lesson for other well-meaning adults.

DEAR ABBY: Can you please resolve a problem for me? I want to know the proper etiquette for wearing a heart-shaped diamond ring. Do you wear it with the point facing you or facing the tip of your finger? -- CARA IN WEST VIRGINIA

DEAR CARA: According to Michael Botsko, director of the Tiffany jewelry store in LA's Century City, the stone should be worn with the point facing outward -- so that when you extend your hand, people won't mistake it for one that's round or oval.

DEAR ABBY: I am very concerned. I recently started seeing a man who refuses to kiss me. He will peck me on the lips or the cheek, but nothing more. I have asked him about it. He claims he has never kissed, and that it actually turns him off. I feel like because of this I can't connect with him on a more intimate level. Is this normal? Please help. -- LIPLESS LOVER IN FLAGSTAFF, ARIZ.

DEAR LIPLESS LOVER: Although his aversion is not unheard of, it is not "normal." Most affectionate lovers kiss. I can't answer for you, but for me, this would be a deal-breaker. My "gut" tells me you should keep him as a friend -- and expect nothing more.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby -- Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I'm a college sophomore living in a dorm. My best friend lives a few doors down. We have always had a wonderful, caring friendship and many things in common. Lately, however, she has not been spending much time with me. Normally this would not concern me because we are both very busy right now -- but we recently had an argument in which I discovered her inability to handle confrontation.

When I brought up my concern, it led to a fight. She burst into tears and said she can't handle it when I "yell" at her. Abby, I hadn't raised my voice. Later, more calmly, she told me she cannot handle confrontation and will never, under any circumstances, take the first step. This worries me, not only for our friendship, but for her own emotional health.

When she doesn't want to spend time with me, I wonder whether she's angry with me and won't say so. This could seriously affect her in her future friendships and romances. I tried to talk to her about addressing her fear of confrontation, perhaps through some sort of therapy. She doesn't think she has a problem. I'd like to help her. Am I right that this could cause her problems? -- WORRIED FRIEND IN OAKLAND

DEAR WORRIED: Yes, it could. However, until your friend is willing to face the fact that she has a problem and is ready to deal with it, nothing you can say will convince her.

In the household in which your friend was raised, she may have been punished for expressing overt anger. People raised to "stuff" their feelings that way sometimes find other ways of expressing it so they won't have to admit their true feelings. The name for this "other way" is passive aggression.

Right now, your friend may be busy, or she may be punishing you for putting her in a corner by avoiding you. But if the way she deals with unpleasantness is by avoiding it, you'll never get a straight answer from her -- so my advice is to enlarge your circle of friends.

DEAR ABBY: My husband, "James," and I have been married only three years. We are both in our 20s. Everything is really great between us -- except our sex life. As far as he is concerned that's fine, too, but I am not satisfied. It may seem odd to hear the female wants to have sex more frequently than a young and healthy male, but that's the case in our relationship.

Abby, I work with the public and I get frequent remarks about what a beautiful woman I am. This makes it hard for me to believe that I don't attract him at all. I have expressed many times that I wish we were more intimate. I have even expressed it to him in more than one letter, hoping to reach him.

I am at a total loss as to how to make him realize how important this is to me. Is there something wrong with my body? I just don't know who to turn to for advice on this subject. Please help me. -- SHORT ON INTIMACY IN OHIO

DEAR SHORT ON INTIMACY: There is nothing wrong with your body. You have married a man who appears either to have a very low sex drive or be asexual. The place to find the answers you need would be in the office of a licensed marriage and family therapist. What's ailing your marriage has nothing to do with you and everything to do with your husband.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)