DEAR ABBY: I love your column and no-nonsense advice. I guess what I want is for you to tell me it is OK to change careers.

I am a registered nurse who graduated from nursing school a year ago and hates her job. I am getting ready to change careers. It will cost me money, but I feel the payoff in time and peace of mind is worth it.

What do I say to people who are going to criticize me for it? Yes, I know it seems crazy to have spent four years getting a degree and not use it, but I really don't like nursing. The problem is mainly the other nurses and the environment, not my patients. Again, thanks for all you do. You do make a difference. -- SUSAN IN ST. LOUIS

DEAR SUSAN: Whoa, not so fast! If you were unhappy in your career, you would get no argument from me about changing it. However, before you make a final decision about leaving nursing, I urge you to consider that there is more than one way to practice the profession.

Among them is private duty nursing. Or getting a job as a nurse with a cruise line. Or becoming a traveling nurse. (Google "Travel nurses.") Agencies offer opportunities to travel and work anywhere in the 50 states. Some provide housing, meals allowance, continuing education courses and signing bonuses.

It may be possible to use the training you worked so hard to attain and not have to deal with the "other nurses" and the "environment." Please think it over and check out nursing registries in your state before you make your final decision. You may be pleasantly surprised.

DEAR ABBY: The man of my dreams, whom I have been with for seven years, has started cutting himself. I feel like I am losing my grip on reality, since in the past he has always talked to me when he had a problem. He is on anti-depressants, but they seem not to be working.

What can I do to help him see that he can talk to me, and this is not something he needs to continue? He is a quiet person, so no one knows about this -- just me and his daughters. Please help me. I am scared that one day I will come home and he will be dead. -- CRAZY WITH WORRY, HAWKINSVILLE, GA.

DEAR CRAZY WITH WORRY: It is far more important that the man of your dreams start talking to a mental health professional than it is that he confide in you right now. When people are so depressed that they start cutting, it is an indication that they need an intervention that's beyond the ability of a friend with a willing ear.

The place to start is to discuss this with the doctor who is giving the man of your dreams those anti-depressants. I urge you to see that it is done now, because he could seriously hurt himself, or worse.

DEAR ABBY: My brother is 16, just one year younger than I am, but he's doing some risky things that have me worried. One of the risks he is taking is against the law -- he's drinking alcohol. I told him not to, but as a teenage boy, he thinks listening to his older sister is not cool.

I can't tell my parents because then I'd be a snitch and a tattle-tale. What can I do? -- WAVERING IN WICHITA, KAN.

DEAR WAVERING: Some secrets are meant to be kept, others are better broken. Drinking and drugs fall into the latter category. Tell your parents what is going on before your brother gets into serious trouble, and ask them to keep what you told them confidential. Once they have been made aware of your brother's drinking, "catching" him while he's inebriated won't be difficult.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)

DEAR ABBY: My husband is a great husband and father to our three children, ages 17, 10 and 4. The problem is, he leaves his loaded 9mm gun lying around our house. Last week, I found it on the kitchen table. Now here's the kicker: He's a police officer.

He leaves it in the holster, which is tricky to remove the gun from. He insists, "It can't be fired while it's in the holster." Abby, I don't care! My kids have friends in and out of our home daily.

The next time I find the gun lying around, I plan on taking it to his chief and explaining the problem to him. Am I out of line? Please don't mention my name or city. -- UPSET IN WASHINGTON

DEAR UPSET: Your husband is acting like an ostrich. ("There isn't a problem because I refuse to see it.")

I think your solution is excellent, and here's why. Just a few weeks ago, I saw a report on the evening news about an officer of the law who was driving his vehicle with his 3-year-old son along for the ride. The child somehow got ahold of his father's gun, and shot his father in the back.

The policeman somehow managed to get the vehicle stopped, and asked a witness to "look out for his child" before being taken to the hospital. The report concluded that the officer might be paralyzed for life. Enough said?

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are having a disagreement and have agreed to let you settle it for us.

My husband has two children, ages 17 and 13, who live with their mother and stepfather. They are with us about 15 percent of the year. Both kids have part-time jobs. They tell my husband what they want for Christmas and their birthdays, and he always gives them generous gifts on those occasions plus presents in between visits. We entertain them with lots of fun activities when they are with us, and take them on expensive trips.

The problem is, they never give my husband any presents at Christmas, his birthday or on Father's Day. Once in a while, they'll send him a card. Family members have spoken to them about this more than once, but there have been no changes.

My husband says he wants to continue to model generosity. I say, enough of this one-sided giving! In a healthy relationship, one person does not make all the effort. I say it's time to modify the giving and/or just give them cards. What do you think? -- HAD IT IN ARLINGTON, WASH.

DEAR HAD IT: Your husband should not suddenly punish his children by cutting off the gifts. Children behave as they have been taught -- usually by their mothers.

When they were younger, their mother should have taken them to buy special occasion gifts for their dad. She probably didn't because she was bitter about the divorce. When they are grown, they may learn to be more thoughtful -- but don't count on it, because patterns of giving are learned in childhood.

DEAR ABBY: What is the proper reply to a business acquaintance who sends a notice, with pictures, announcing that he was married two weeks earlier? -- ASKANCE IN HOUSTON

DEAR ASKANCE: Add his wife's name to your Rolodex so you can inquire about her the next time you run into the business acquaintance, and send him a congratulatory card.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I recently attended the funeral of my beloved Uncle Joe. Uncle Joe had never married and had no children -- or so everyone thought. At the funeral a woman came up to me, showed me a photograph, and claimed it was Uncle Joe's 31-year-old son who, she said, is stationed in the Navy in another state. The resemblance is truly remarkable!

She loaned me the picture and gave me her address. I have so many questions I wish I had asked her, but didn't feel comfortable doing it right then. I would write her a letter, but I have no idea where to start or what to say. Have you any suggestions? -- THROWN FOR A LOOP, LEWISTON, IDAHO

DEAR THROWN FOR A LOOP: You did not mention whether your uncle had a will when he died, or whether he owned any property, so before contacting this lady you should discuss this with the rest of the family and the family lawyer. Your legal representative might want to contact the woman or the alleged son regarding any claim he might have on Uncle Joe's estate.

As to sending a letter, take your cue from the person who's representing you.

DEAR ABBY: Children need more than paper, pencils and a lunch box to be prepared for this school year. They also need health care coverage. Children who have health insurance are better prepared to learn in school and better equipped to succeed in life.

Unfortunately, nearly 3.3 million children in the United States are uninsured. That means one out of every 10 kids might not receive the medical care they need, when they need it.

The good news is most uninsured children are eligible for low-cost or free health care coverage through Medicaid or the State Children's Health Insurance Program. These programs exist in every state and the District of Columbia and cover doctor's visits and prescriptions, but many parents may not believe their kids are eligible. Because these parents are working, they may think they earn too much money to qualify.

Anyone who cares about an uninsured child -- that includes grandparents, teachers, day care providers, ministers and others -- can do his part by telling parents about these programs and urging them to get more information.

Abby, I know you share my concern that these children be allowed to start the school year off right -- with good health and access to health care. Thank you for helping us connect children with the services they need. -- RISA LAVIZZO-MOUREY, M.D., PRESIDENT AND CEO, ROBERT WOOD JOHNSON FOUNDATION

DEAR DR. LAVIZZO-MOUREY: You're welcome. I'm pleased to help you spread the word about this important program for low-income families. With children heading back to school, your letter is a timely one.

Readers, the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation sponsors a program nationwide called Covering Kids and Families, and invites parents of uninsured children to call (toll-free) (877) 543-7669 ((877) KIDS-NOW) to find out if your children are eligible. The need is great, so please don't wait to place that call.

DEAR ABBY: I am being married this fall. When we booked the minister last year, he seemed like a nice man. We have since found that he's very overbearing and micromanages everything.

What would be a discreet way of telling him that we no longer want him to perform our ceremony? We have already booked someone else. -- VERBALLY BATTERED BRIDE-TO-BE

DEAR VERBALLY BATTERED: Tell him your "plans have changed" and you will no longer be needing his services. (He may think that the wedding is off.)

If he starts questioning you, then tell him exactly what you have told me. Because his personality is affecting his business, he needs to hear it. You'll be doing him a favor in the long run.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)