DEAR ABBY: A few weeks ago, my partner and I received an invitation to a friend's 50th birthday party. The invitation stated, "No gag gifts."

A few hours before the party, my partner came home with a bag full of gag gifts, including Preparation H, Depends, etc. That's when the argument started. I told him I would not go to the party if he brought those gifts. I feel they are insulting, and those kinds of gifts are not funny anymore -- especially when the invitation specifies no gag gifts. I have seen those kinds of gifts a hundred times.

As a result, we did not attend the party. How do you feel about gag gifts? Who's right and who's wrong? -- TOO SENSITIVE IN RENO

DEAR TOO SENSITIVE: While I do not condone mentioning gifts -- gag gifts or otherwise -- on an invitation, the host, and presumably the honoree, had made their wishes known. You are not "too sensitive"; you were socially appropriate. For your partner to have ignored the invitation would have been rude and insensitive.

I have nothing against gag gifts if they are original, funny and tasteful. Frankly, I think in this case, by not attending, you spared yourself embarrassment and did the honoree a favor.

DEAR ABBY: My grandmother is 88 and in good health. She has lived with my dad's sister ("Aunt Joy") and her family since Grandpa died nine years ago.

Grandma doesn't have a mother-in-law suite or anything like that -- just her own bedroom and bath -- but she pays them between $600 and $700 in rent every month.

Furthermore, Aunt Joy charges Grandma a percentage of everything they do to improve the house. Aunt Joy had granite countertops put in; Grandma paid $1,200 for the use of them. They also had a fence installed and charged Grandma 25 percent of the cost.

I think my aunt is very materialistic. She uses Grandma and her money to get what she wants. Grandma isn't rich, but she has enough to live on her own if she wanted to.

It's also interesting that their daughter, who is 27, lives with them and pays no rent at all. Why should my grandma have to pay so much and my cousin nothing?

My parents would love for Grandma to come and live here in our guestroom for free, but we live 1,200 miles away. Dad doesn't want to create a rift in the family, but shouldn't he draw the line somewhere?

My aunt and uncle call themselves Christians, but taking advantage of an elderly woman doesn't seem very Christian to me. How should something like this be dealt with? How should Dad handle it? -- PERTURBED IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR PERTURBED: I don't know what kind of conversations are going on in your house about Grandma, but they are not something you should be involved with. If your father feels his mother is being taken advantage of, he should talk to her about it and tell her -- if he hasn't already -- that he and your mother would love to have her live with you rent-free. After that, the decision about where she wants to live and how she wants to conduct her life should be up to her.

As it stands, Grandma seems to have chosen to live with her daughter and agreed to the terms. Some mothers feel closer to their daughters than to their sons. It's a girl thing.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I am concerned about the number of teens who write to you about whether or not to have sex. I am a mother of four, and I'm only 22. My first child was born when I was 14. Only two of my biological children live with me, and I have taken my stepdaughter in as my own.

Teens everywhere should be educated about sex and the consequences of having sex at a young age. Many parents still do not have "the talk" with their children -- leaving it up to the educational system, which is inadequate in this area.

I would like to urge teen parents to volunteer at local schools to educate these teens about what "might" happen. I see more and more teens every day heading down the road I went down, and it scares me.

I was lucky that I now have the chance to further my education and provide a stable life for my children, which, I might add, did not happen until I was already the mother of two and 18 years old. I had to give one child up for adoption, and it was heart-wrenching. To teens out there, PLEASE do not be like me. You might not be as lucky as I was. -- WISER NOW IN THE U.S.A.

DEAR WISER NOW: Thank you for wanting to warn other teens not to venture down the same path that you did. You are right: You are lucky you have a chance to further your education and provide a stable life for your children, because most teenage mothers are not so fortunate. Sadly, only one-third of teen mothers receive a high school diploma, and only 1.5 percent have a college degree by the time they reach 30. (Nearly 80 percent of unmarried teen mothers end up on welfare.)

Although teenage pregnancy, birth and abortion rates in the United States have declined over the last decade, our country continues to have a higher rate of teenage pregnancy than most other developed countries. (It's nearly twice the rate as in Australia or Canada -- and more than four times higher than the rate in France.)

Although we all wish that teens would remain abstinent until marriage, the fact remains that many don't. And those young people need accurate information about how to prevent unplanned pregnancies and avoid sexually transmitted diseases. Parents who leave sex education up to the schools should be aware that since 1996, the federal government has poured $1 billion into abstinence-only sex education programs that do not include complete information on birth control methods or even sexually transmitted diseases.

I have always believed that what people don't know CAN hurt them, and that anyone old enough to ask deserves straight answers to their questions. And that is why I offer a booklet, "What Every Teen Should Know," to answer some of the questions that many teens are afraid to ask their parents regarding sex, STDs, drinking and drugs. Many parents and grandparents have given the booklet to their teenagers or used it to foster discussion.

It can be ordered by sending a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. Postage is included in the price.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 24-year-old woman who has been married for four months to an amazing man. We have a wonderful marriage and are looking forward to growing old together. However, I have a slight problem:

I have a baby blanket I have had since I was a baby and have slept with it since before I could walk. When I turned 16, I told myself I'd get rid of it. Sixteen turned to 18, 18 turned into getting rid of it when I graduated from college, which turned into getting rid of it when I married.

I am now married and have no intention of getting rid of it. I guess I've held onto it because it's familiar. (We moved far from home after our wedding.) My husband says he doesn't mind, and I'm sure he's not lying, but it's a little embarrassing. I can't fall asleep without it. I even watch TV with it in my lap or read with it behind my head.

Do you think it's ridiculous for me to have a baby blanket at 24 with a new, wonderful husband, or should I just keep it and not worry? -- K.T., IN KENTUCKY

DEAR K.T.: Your "problem" may be unusual, but it's not unheard of. Your "blanky" is familiar and soothing, and since your husband doesn't mind, I see no reason why you should be concerned about keeping it. Enjoy!

DEAR ABBY: I have finally been reunited with my 30-year-old son, who was in the Marines as a sergeant in Iraq. He decided he wanted to get in touch with his dad after 15 years. I welcomed him with open arms.

I love my son very much. Is it wrong for me to want to hug him?

He is married, and I have just met his wife. She's a great person and a wonderful daughter-in-law. She met me at the door with a hug. I told them both that I love them, always have and always will, and it wasn't my choice that we were separated. I don't ever want us to be separated again.

He told me, "Dad, I love you, too," but he's not too keen about the hugs all of a sudden. (It was OK the first couple of visits.) I just want him to know I really love him. Do you think my son is too old to be hugged? -- DEMONSTRATIVE DAD IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR DEMONSTRATIVE DAD: No, I do not. Hugging is a common expression of affection in many families. However, you must remember that you have been separated from your son for half his life. And for hugging to be OK, it needs to be mutual. So before you do it again, talk to your son about it and be sure the gesture is welcomed. And if it makes him uncomfortable, respect his feelings.

DEAR ABBY: My father recently died. My co-workers took up a collection to give to me. It has always been my understanding that gifts such as this should be used for the funeral expenses. Therefore, I passed the money on to my mother.

When I mentioned it to a couple of my co-workers and friends, they said I should have kept the money for myself -- that was the intent. Was I wrong to pass it on to my mother? She is the one paying for the funeral and needs the money for a headstone, etc. -- LINDA IN EDINBURG, ILL.

DEAR LINDA: Your friends are well-intentioned but mistaken. My understanding is the same as yours -- and you did the right thing in giving the money to your mother to help with the expenses surrounding your father's funeral.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)