DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Craig," and I have agreed to let you settle an argument. We have been married for seven years. Craig was married to his previous wife, "Charlotte," for 12 years. Since their divorce, Charlotte is invited to -- and attends -- all of his family's functions and holiday gatherings, as is my husband, but I am not.
Craig has told his parents that Charlotte's presence makes him uncomfortable, but they said she will "always be their daughter" and they can invite whomever they choose.
I don't think Craig should attend these gatherings with his ex-wife, but he accuses me of being selfish because if he doesn't go, he will miss out on his family's events. He says if I don't want him there with her, then I should "crash" the events and show up uninvited and unwelcomed. Who is right? -- SNUBBED IN PORTLAND, ORE.
DEAR SNUBBED: It would be interesting to know more about how your husband's first marriage ended, because that may be what has influenced your in-laws' decision not to accept you into the family. However, as it stands, you are already experiencing enough problems without crashing his parents' gatherings, and I strongly advise against it. Your husband is selfish to ignore your feelings and go without you, but hey -- that's the doll you married.