DEAR ABBY: This year, for the first time that I can recall, we did not celebrate Mother's Day at my mom's. She was diagnosed with dementia in January. It has been a difficult time for our family, but we were told to continue to honor Mom's routine as much as possible.

It was my idea to plan a family dinner at my house, including Mom's favorite foods. Remembering that one of her favorite desserts is cheesecake, I decided to make one. I searched through Mom's recipe box, but was unable to find her recipe. (Mom was such a great cook, she probably had it committed to memory.)

A friend finally gave me a recipe from your cookbooklet set, and I decided to use it because it looked easy enough. It was!

Not only did my family love the dessert, but Mom told us the cheesecake was probably the best she's ever made! I thought you'd like to know you were a big part of our celebration this year. Thank you, Abby. I'd also like to order three cookbooklet sets -- one for me and each of my sisters-in-law. Can you please tell me how to order them? -- KATIE'S DAUGHTER IN CLEVELAND

DEAR KATIE'S DAUGHTER: How sweet of you to let me know about your Mother's Day. Although your celebration was a success, I'm sure it was tinged with bittersweet. That you are continuing your mother's traditions warmed my heart.

I'm also pleased that the cheesecake recipe -- which my own mother used for many years when she entertained -- was a hit with your mom and the rest of your family. And I agree, it's a breeze to assemble. (I can do it in less than 15 minutes.)

You can order my recipe book set by sending a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. Postage is included in the price.

As a recipe lover, I know you'll find more recipes that will pique your interest, and July 4 -- another holiday that families celebrate together -- is coming up soon. (It's my mother's birthday!)

DEAR ABBY: I am a 30-year-old woman who has been dating a man I'll call "Paul" for almost a year. I love him and he says he loves me, but sometimes I have a hard time trusting him.

Women call him here at my apartment at 4 a.m. They also leave messages on my answering machine inviting him over for dinner. Paul won't call them back if I am around. He says they're "just friends," but then he tells me he doesn't know how they got my phone number. (It's unlisted.) He swears he hasn't talked to any of them in more than a year.

Am I just being insecure? If so, how does someone deal with these feelings of jealousy? Should I believe him and take the chance of drowning, or get out now and go on with my life without him? -- SINK OR SWIM IN ARKANSAS

DEAR SINK OR SWIM: It appears you have fallen in love with a womanizer who has been giving out your private number. If these women were "just friends," Paul would return the calls while you were present and inform them that he's already involved with someone.

What you call your insecurity and jealousy are your survival instincts trying to warn you that he is not on the level. You won't have to worry about sinking or swimming if you climb out of the water now. I've thrown you a lifeline. Please take it.

DEAR ABBY: You gave a sensible answer to "Sean" regarding the people he has asked about their foreign accents. I would like to offer some advice of my own regarding people he may meet in the future.

I grew up in a diverse metropolitan area. I quickly learned that if people want to share their accent's origin, they will after I offer a compliment (without an inquiry). I have said things like, "What a beautiful accent!" or, "Your accent makes English sound like music." In response, some people will volunteer where it is from. Others simply accept the compliment.

I think you touched on a valid reason why some people are reluctant to reply. People are more likely to tell you about their past if they are proud of it. However, others also may feel that their relationship is not one that warrants volunteering personal information. When you work with dozens or hundreds of people a day, people may not want their last name known, let alone more private information. -- JENNY IN BROCKTON, MASS.

DEAR JENNY: There can be many reasons why people are reluctant to answer the question. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: It gets very tiring to be asked the same question time after time, especially when the response we get for answering it is always the same, "Oh." Ninety-nine percent of the individuals who ask me about my accent cannot differentiate between London and the United Kingdom, so it puzzles me why they even ask the question. My response is to give a dumb answer to a dumb question.

Also, there are too many prejudiced people in this country who judge others based on their accent, and besides, starting a conversation with so personal a question is offensive. -- TICKED OFF IN FLORIDA

DEAR ABBY: I am an American who has been living outside the United States for many years. It seems the second question anyone asks me is, "Where are you from?" often followed by, "You have such a strong accent." I find it insulting because I work hard to pronounce words correctly, and the inquirers seem to make this comment with such joy. I know I don't have a strong accent because when I am on the phone, no one normally comments on my accent.

People like us get irritated partly because when we are asked where we're from, we feel they do it to pigeonhole us, to classify us as "one of those Americans" or "one of those XX immigrants," not the unique individuals we really are. -- NAOMI IN SAO PAOLO, BRAZIL

DEAR ABBY: I have a severe hearing loss and have been told I "have a beautiful accent." People constantly ask me where I am from. I tried being truthful, but that ended up embarrassing the person who asked, so I stopped. I finally started saying, "I'm from here." Most of them don't believe it, and they press me for more information. If I know I'll be seeing the person again, I tell the truth and also say that I'm very open about my hearing loss, and I just talk the way I hear. If I won't be seeing the person again, I just shrug. -- LINDA IN PHOENIX

DEAR ABBY: I am from the Netherlands and have only a slight accent, but I'm still annoyed with myself for being unable to get rid of it. For a lot of people, it is very important to be able to assimilate into the culture, and I can understand that people get tired of being stamped as a "foreigner" all the time. -- KITTY IN OAKLAND

DEAR ABBY: I was with my grandmother in a department store a few years ago when the clerk noticed her accent and asked what country she came from. My grandmother was puzzled, then she replied, "Oklahoma!" -- JANE IN RANCHO CORDOVA, CALIF.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I am the godparent of three children from different families. In the past, I have given each child money designated for his or her college fund, along with appropriate event gifts.

Within the last year, the parents of all three godchildren have disclosed to me that they (the parents) used the children's college funds for "family" use –- such as a down payment on a home, a family vacation or home renovation.

I am hurt and bewildered that my friends could do such a thing and destroy their child's college savings. All three of the children are young, and the parents each said something about "replacing" those funds "someday." Now I no longer feel comfortable giving them money, since I do not wish to fund the next family vacation or new car.

How do I address this tactfully with my friends, especially since my no longer contributing to the college funds will be noticed? Please help. -- ELIZABETH IN MOBILE, ALA.

DEAR ELIZABETH: You say you are hurt and bewildered? I'd be furious that the money I had given for a college fund had been pilfered by parents too immature to understand the blessing of compound interest.

Please don't penalize your godchildren for the bad behavior of their parents. Talk to your banker or financial adviser about establishing your own college funds for them -- funds that can't be touched until they are needed for the purpose for which they are intended. There may even be a tax break for you. And if the parents have the bad taste to bring up the subject, tell them the money will be there, but for now, it's safely out of the way of "temptation."

DEAR ABBY: I am 15. My younger brother, "Mikey," is 7. I enjoy watching a television show that is rated PG-13. My parents didn't mind my watching it until a few weeks ago.

Over the last couple of weeks, Mikey has been coming into my room while I'm watching the show. When I ask him to leave, he throws a fit. He then goes into his room and watches it, thinking no one will find out.

Mikey has been imitating some of the violence on the show, and my parents are blaming me for showing it to him. Now they are threatening to take away my privilege of watching the show. What can I do to convince them that I am not exposing him to the violence? -- DAVID IN LIVERPOOL, N.Y.

DEAR DAVID: You should not be punished for your parents' failure to supervise your brother. If you haven't already done so, tell your parents exactly what you have told me. And while you're at it, suggest that they either activate the parental controls on the television set in your brother's room, or remove it entirely so that he can watch only in the den or family room where his viewing can be monitored.

DEAR ABBY: What do you think of a mother-in-law who asks that an afghan made by her friend be given back? It was given to my daughter and her husband as a wedding gift three years ago. They just got divorced. Isn't this a bit tacky? -- JUST WONDERING

DEAR WONDERING: When a marriage ends, it is not unusual for the splitting spouses to divide the wedding gifts according to whose "side" they came from. Was it tacky of the former mother-in-law to ask? I don't think so, if the request was made politely. However, once a gift is given, it belongs to the recipient -– and possession is nine points of the law.