DEAR ABBY: I recently began dating again as a single mother. I met a man I'll call "Mickey" at a singles dance and agreed to meet him at a coffeehouse a few days later because I had decided to date him. However, Mickey followed me home. I saw him pass my house.

A few days later, he showed up at a store where I was shopping, although he doesn't live nearby. I invited him over for dinner, and he showed up again within the week, uninvited, and walked into my house while I was taking a nap! When I confronted him about entering my house uninvited, he said he was "concerned about my welfare." (I have systemic lupus.)

Abby, I dated Mickey a total of four weeks. Since then, he has continuously driven by my house and dropped off presents of books, cards, candy, flowers, etc. I have asked him not to come by uninvited or without calling first, but he just dropped off another book. He appears not to understand that his intrusive behavior is freaking me out. What can I do? Is this considered stalking? He hasn't threatened me, but I'm frightened and wish he'd stop pursuing me. What can I do? -- FREAKED OUT IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR FREAKED OUT: Tell the man plainly that you are not interested in a relationship and you want him to stop dropping by and giving you gifts. If he persists, begin keeping a written record every time it happens and notify the police, because his behavior could be considered stalking. You should also make certain to keep your doors and windows securely locked so you don't have any further unwelcome intrusions. You may also have to screen your calls for a while, and if he calls, do not respond.

DEAR ABBY: I need to know how to handle my mixed-up marriage. My husband is a preacher, and our marriage is falling apart. He cares more for another woman than he does for me. Every time we talk to each other, he always brings her into the conversation. It happens even when he's preaching. All I ever hear is that she helped him with his children when his other wives left him!

I understand that, but that was in the past. All I ever asked of him was to be there for me. Our sex life is terrible. He no longer has anything to do with me.

We have been married only 16 months, and this has gone on for half our marriage. It hurts me because I love him so much. What can I do about this? How can I make him understand? -- HURTING IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR HURTING: The time has come to stop reacting emotionally and think rationally. Just how many wives has your husband had? And why did they leave him? Could it be that they were treated the same way he is treating you?

Many wives make their husbands "understand" when communication breaks down through marriage counseling, and that's what I recommend for you. I don't know whether your husband still carries a torch for his former child-care provider or if he's actively involved with someone else. But you need more help than anyone can give you in a letter.

DEAR ABBY: I have a family member I love dearly, as does the rest of the family. This person has had an odor problem for many years -- but it is seemingly getting worse. We feel it is not only body odor but also lack of bathing and laundry.

No one in the family wants to be responsible for telling this person about it for fear of hurting this person or making the person upset and resentful. What should we do? -- UNSURE IN MISSOURI

DEAR UNSURE: You must speak to the person. By doing so, you will be helping, not hurting. What would be cruel would be to ignore the problem.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I am a widow with four children. My mother passed away in March 2004, and 11 months later I found my husband dead in our bathroom after he had shot himself in the head. Needless to say, my world has turned upside down. I think I am managing pretty well, and I thank God every day for my children. I don't know what I'd do without them. However, I miss my husband more and more every day.

I do not know how I am going to handle all this. I don't know what I will tell my 3- and 4-year-olds one day when they ask me how their daddy died. I also can't picture myself loving another man, or being loved by one.

Am I destined to be a lonely widow? How can I tell my children the truth without destroying their lives? -- MOURNING IN ARIZONA

DEAR MOURNING: I hope you realize that all of the emotions you are experiencing right now are NORMAL. You have suffered two tremendous losses in a short period of time, so it's not surprising that you are feeling the loss deeply.

When your children are old enough to begin asking questions about their father, explain to them that although their daddy loved them very much, he was sick and he suffered from an illness -- depression -- and that one day he took his own life. As they grow older, they may need this information, because depression can run in families. They also need to understand that there is treatment for it. You do not have to give your children all the details at once, and it may be better that you don't.

As for being "destined to be a lonely widow," nothing could be further from the truth. But you will first have to deal with your own feelings about what happened. A source of support that might be helpful would be the American Association of Suicidology, which has hundreds of associated groups. It can provide you with referrals to local self-help groups for survivors. Newsletters, pamphlets, etc., are also available for a fee. The organization's address is 5221 Wisconsin Ave. N.W., Washington, D.C. 20015, and the Web site is www.suicidology.org.

Being a survivor of suicide can be isolating, but it doesn't have to be inevitable. By writing to me, you have already taken the first step in reaching out. I wish you happiness in the future.

DEAR ABBY: I am having a problem with a fellow classmate. He sits in front of me, and every day during class he turns around and asks me to marry him. Of course I say no, but he won't stop it, and it's starting to creep me out. One day he asked me why, and I told him because I have a boyfriend (which is true). Now he says he wants to hurt him!

I have tried asking him nicely not to talk to me anymore, but he still does, and he's in more than one class with me, so a seat change won't do much good. I'm not sure exactly what to say to him. Could you help me out? -- CREEPED OUT IN WINTER SPRINGS, FLA.

DEAR CREEPED OUT: The next time Romeo proposes, tell him that if he doesn't knock it off, you will tell your teacher and the principal that he's harassing you and making threats against your boyfriend. If that doesn't cool his ardor, follow through. He may deserve an A for effort, but he deserves an F in English if he can't comprehend what "no" means.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I have never written to you before, but after reading the letter from "Confused in Georgia," the 23-year-old young man saying that he is gay, I felt compelled to respond. Your advice to him was great, but I would like to offer some of my own.

Like "Confused," I am also a homosexual in south Georgia. Because he is having a difficult time with the church in which he was raised, my advice would be to run -- don't walk -- from this "house of worship." If attending church is important to him, then I suggest he visit the Episcopal Church, where I found solace and a warm and comforting family.

I have found it most interesting that in the Deep South, many Protestant churches are inclusive only if one meets their criteria, which is something akin to an exclusive country club.

Also, he is not alone. Homosexuals of all races and religions are born every single day. I have found it somewhat amusing that if the truth be known, there are probably more homosexuals in our churches than at any gay venue. -- VALDOSTA, GA., READER

DEAR READER: After that letter was published, I was inundated with mail from readers -- gay and straight -- from all over the country encouraging the writer to stop being afraid of rejection and to come out already. Read on for a sample from Georgia alone:

DEAR ABBY: No one should have to live with the isolation and fear that "Confused" is experiencing due to his sexual orientation. I live in Atlanta, and while I am not homosexual, "Confused" should know that Atlanta is known for having a large, active gay community. There are many support and networking groups here, gay-friendly neighborhoods and planned communities, and a number of churches of different denominations that welcome gay and lesbian members with open hearts and minds. Georgia State, Emory and Georgia Tech are all based in Atlanta, as well as numerous community colleges.

"Confused" should come and visit. While parts of the South are extremely conservative, a whole new world of opportunity and happiness awaits him in his own home state. Atlanta has the resources, as well as an empathetic community, to help him find happiness within himself. -- JESSICA IN ATLANTA

DEAR ABBY: The theatrical world, which has a large community of gay men, is a place where "Confused" will find many open minds and similar stories. Getting involved in regional theater as a volunteer will help him find an emotionally "safe" activity with which to begin socializing again. We love our volunteers. All he has to do is hand folks a program, and no one will ask questions. It will also put him in contact with many others who may have lived through exactly what he's going through now and enable him to make friends who truly understand. Not everyone in this state is homophobic. -- SYMPATHETIC IN GEORGIA

DEAR ABBY: The letter from "Confused in Georgia" mirrors our grandson. If the only way we can communicate with him is through Dear Abby, then we will certainly try:

Grandson, we love you very much and have felt for some time that you might be gay. Does this change our love for you? No! If you decided to come out, you will always have our love and support. Please, make a decision so that you can move on with your life. -- YOUR LOVING GRANDPA AND GRANDMA IN ALBANY, GA.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)