DEAR ABBY: My beloved wife may be killing herself, and I can't stop her. Once or twice a week she stays up all night baking cookies for her "friends" at work -- huge numbers of cookies. Over Christmas, she was up night after night baking, and it's very worrisome.

My wife is 63 and in a demanding profession. I cannot believe that the body can tolerate sleepless nights like this. She says she takes "a nap" in her car at lunchtime, but I doubt it.

How can I stop her from this self-destructive habit? I don't want to lose her, but I don't know what to do. If I try to dissuade her from cookie-baking, she gets extremely huffy, and it's hurting our marriage. -- MARRIED TO THE COOKIE MONSTER IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR MARRIED: You appear to be a concerned and loving spouse. Sleep patterns can vary from individual to individual, and different people require different amounts of sleep to function well.

However, because you are concerned about how your wife's sleep pattern could affect her general health, suggest to her -- and possibly her physician -- that she might benefit from discussing the subject with a sleep disorder specialist to determine whether she's getting the amount of rest she needs. (And if she isn't, how she can get it.) I hope this helps.

DEAR ABBY: Last May, the six of us had to put our 85-year-old mother and 90-year-old father into an assisted-living facility -- Mom for Alzheimer's and Dad for heart problems and kidney failure. Our mother is in the late middle stages of her disease.

Dad died on July 2. My two siblings who live less than two hours away from Mom decided that it would not be a good idea to tell her that her husband had passed away. Three of us don't like that decision. In fact, two of my brothers have stopped calling Mom because they're afraid she will ask if our father has died, and they don't want to lie to her. She has been told that he is "sleeping a lot."

What do you think about the way this is being handled? I cannot tell you how sad I am about this and the fact that we actually "lost" both parents last July. I am the second-oldest child and could really use some good advice. -- SAD IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR SAD: You have my sympathy for your loss. However, I advocate for telling the truth, unless it is a cruel one. In a case like this, where your mother has no short-term memory, each time your mother hears that her husband is dead it will be as if she's hearing it for the first time. It would be a kindness not to put her through that -- again and again.

P.S. At her stage of illness, I doubt that she'll be asking if your father has died. And it's OK not to volunteer the information.

DEAR ABBY: I operate a home-based business. My home phone number doubles as my business fax number. A day does not go by that we don't get one or two unsolicited faxed advertisements with the latest "hot" stock tip or resort vacation package. I have called the "do not fax" number listed on the faxes each time, but they continue to arrive -- often at 3 a.m. If you hang up, they just keep calling. Isn't there some federal or state law to regulate this practice? -- LOSING SLEEP IN OHIO

DEAR LOSING SLEEP: The federal government has a Do Not Call Registry. The number to call to sign up is: 888-382-1222. (You must renew every five years to remain on it.) If, after three months of signing up, you still receive unwanted faxes, you may file a complaint by calling the same phone number or logging on to www.donotcall.gov. (Alternatively, unplug your phone when you go to bed to guarantee you won't be disturbed.)

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR READERS: As promised, today I'm printing my own tried-and-true list of how to meet a potential mate. (Because some of my suggestions have already been offered by others, I'm abbreviating this list.) Read on:

Simply put, decent people are found where decent people gather. You will never meet anyone sitting at home, so get out of the house and become involved. Enroll in an adult education class, take a class in auto mechanics, welding, computer training, sailing, navigation, golf.

Volunteer your services. There are plenty of under-privileged, disabled, elderly and teens who could use a friend. Get involved with your church or a civic organization. Join a political party and volunteer to help at a polling station. (You'll meet everyone in your district!) Join a professional organization -- Rotary, Chamber of Commerce, manufacturing organization or any organization having to do with your profession.

Take dancing lessons -- square dancing, line dancing, ballroom or salsa. Take up fishing or hiking, join a gym or health club. Do some entertaining and ask your friends to bring along a friend. If you have children, join Parents Without Partners.

You may not meet "The One" right away, but you'll make new friends -- and one of them may have a friend who's perfect for you.

DEAR ABBY: A former friend I'll call "June" was the cause of many important relationship breakups in my life -- one of which is mended now. We hadn't spoken for years.

About seven years ago, June was hired at the place where I have worked for the past 12 years. She now tries to find and make up excuses to converse with me, both in and out of work. I ignore her. I am not mean or rude; however, I have complained to our supervisors that I don't want anything other than work-related issues to do with June. They have notified her of my complaints, and she is getting the hint.

Outside of work is another story. I "forgave" June many years ago, but I still do not wish to have her as a friend or acquaintance. Please tell me how to get rid of her. I have considered a restraining order, but she hasn't done anything threatening. -- BEING STALKED IN KOKOMO

DEAR BEING STALKED: The next time June approaches you outside of work, if you haven't already done so, tell her exactly what you have told me. If that doesn't do the trick, change your routine -- the places or the hours that you shop, go for exercise, etc. If the woman still pursues you, then do inform the police that you are being stalked by someone who appears to be unbalanced, because that may be what the woman is, and get it on record.

DEAR ABBY: I was sitting with a friend today, and we began talking about the rising gas prices. After a few minutes she said, "Why don't Americans do what they do in Europe?"

I asked her what that was, and she told me that Europeans take a regular day off from driving -- which not only saves gas but also brings families closer together. What an excellent idea for people here in the United States.

I think it is a simple solution to a growing problem and could make a huge difference. Do you think this is possible? -- JIM H., NAPLES, FLA.

DEAR JIM H.: I certainly do. When people are determined enough, anything is possible. We may not be able to control gas prices, but we can decide how we want to spend our money. For those who need to economize, walking, riding bicycles, ride-sharing and public transportation are sensible solutions.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR READERS: As promised, I'm continuing yesterday's topic about finding Mr. (or Ms.) Right. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I would like to offer some suggestions to the successful career woman who asked if she and her friends should "dumb themselves down" in order to find a man:

When people let frustration and pouting get the best of them, they give off a bad vibe that no one finds attractive. She needs to continue with her success. She should get out of the house, do things she enjoys, go to parties, parks, sporting events, church, art classes, wine tastings -- whatever! Mr. Right won't magically show up on her doorstep, and she'll be happier in the meantime doing what makes her happy.

It's OK to talk with friends and co-workers about her single status. Do they know she's available and open for suggestions and blind dates? The person she meets may not be Mr. Right, but he may have a friend who could be. Has she tried online dating sites? There's one for just about everyone.

Instead of looking for "Mr. Perfect," look for "Mr. Perfect-for-YOU." Make a list of the qualities that you can't live without and then stick to it. And, last but not least, she should list all the great qualities she has to offer, and post it where she can see it every day. If she keeps reminding herself that she is a catch, she'll get caught! -- HAVE FAITH, COLUMBIA, S.C.

DEAR HAVE FAITH: Your comments are terrific, and I hope the woman who wrote me (and others!) take them to heart. That so many people identified with that letter and reached out is heartwarming. Thanks for wanting to help. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: In my area of about 150,000 people, there's a shortage of women. Many single, successful straight men find it hard to thrive amidst all the noise, pollution and crime of a big city.

Look at the statistics -- the new exurbia is where to find a lot of single engineers, scientists, financial and insurance executives. I know smart women who have moved here just to meet men and have promptly gotten married. (And if they absolutely, positively want to be married, they should consider moving to Alaska!) -- STEVE IN RICHLAND, WASH.

DEAR STEVE: It would certainly be worth an exploratory vacation trip to find out.

DEAR ABBY: Instead of bemoaning their situation, those women should revel in it as I did. I moved my career forward, took up off-road cycling, traveled the world, took classes, went to plays -- you name it. I married for the first time at 36. But I'm glad I can look back at my single years with so many fond memories of the adventures I had. And if Mr. Right never comes along, she may be too busy to notice. -- BEEN THERE IN WISCONSIN

DEAR ABBY: She needs to "broaden her customer base." Someone from a completely different background might be less likely to be threatened by her success in her field. The bonus is twofold. She'll meet a whole new crowd and discover new interests. Nothing is more attractive than a person enjoying herself. -- TRENT IN CATHEDRAL CITY, CALIF.

DEAR ABBY: Smart women who have trouble finding men for relationships should join Mensa. Mensa members come from every demographic and have one thing in common: They are in the top 2 percent of the population intelligence-wise. -- HELPFUL READER IN THE U.S.A.

DEAR HELPFUL: Good suggestion. Not everyone finds love in Mensa, but it's a wonderful way to meet other people who value intelligence in both men and women. To learn more about Mensa, log on to www.mensa.org or www.us.mensa.org.

Tomorrow, I'll reprint my own handy-dandy suggestions for meeting eligible people.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)