DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have always made it a priority to spend time with the people in our lives we care for. At this stage, our children are gone and our large home is ideal for gatherings, so we are frequent hosts to friends and family.
One of our close friends, "Gloria," has a roommate, "Ivy," who has taken it upon herself to show up at any event she hears about without being invited. This has put Gloria in the uncomfortable position of being the "informant." In most cases, it wouldn't present a problem. However, Ivy has shown up at sit-down dinners with limited seating. She never offers to bring anything or calls to make sure she's welcome. Sometimes she shows up earlier than when our guests have been told to arrive. This has caused some awkward situations for me, to put it mildly.
Not only that, but Ivy is a very demanding guest. On a few occasions she has tried to boss me around and expects me to wait on her hand and foot. How can we tactfully tell this woman she needs to call before showing up to make sure she's welcome? -- HOSTESS WITH THE MOSTEST IN OHIO
DEAR HOSTESS: You have described a boor who knows no boundaries. Please do not waste your time trying to be "tactful," because it won't work. The next time Ivy shows up uninvited, tell her exactly what you have written to me and do not admit her. Period.